Fairy Tale Complex

2004-01-24T18:41:00.000+08:00

Concerning Bratty Children: A Reaction to a Post on Anand's Friends' Page

"Mom, I don't want to take care of them ever again." ["them" referring to the two children I had to babysit]

"I know. Thank God that you and your sister weren't ever like that when you were younger. At least your Dad and I did something right in that aspect."

~ a conversation between me and Mom last summer as we were going home from a vacation at Lake Caliraya

I read this entry by Elaur on Anand's friends' page, and it talked about handling bratty children, how hellish it can be handling these children, and how it is the parents who are most likely at fault if these children turn out to be less than likeable.

For more information on my experience with Brats from Hell, read this. Elaur, I know you don't know me, but we're not alone in experiencing the hell of taking care of bratty children.

I grew up in a family that wasn't against corporal punishment (spanking), but it was used sparingly. I remember my grandmother spanking me on the hands with a giant ruler whenever I did something wrong (like rollerbladed inside the house even when she told me I shouldn't), and my dad spanking me on the butt when I lied to him. But like I said a while ago, these were very rarely used, and only for major transgressions - things I already KNEW I'd get in trouble for, but did anyway.

Most of the time, my parents sent me to the Hot Corner. Basically, what they did was they made me stand facing a particular corner of the house, and made me stay there for hours on end. Now, when you're a kid and would much rather run around and play (or at least DO something), staying in the Hot Corner with absolutely NOTHING to do except stare at a blank wall is TORTURE. This was the case when I was around eight to twelve, when I was considered too old for spanking, but not old enough for getting grounded.

Here in the Philippines, children generally grow up well-disciplined. We're taught from the moment we can talk that we should respect our parents and older siblings and grandparents and other older relatives, and that this respect extends to non-family members like teachers and yayas [nannies in Filipino]. We're taught how to use the words "po" and "opo", which are terms of respect when addressing older people and answering their questions.

Here's a typical example:

Older woman: Ilang taon ka na, hija? [How old are you, dearie?]

Child: Limang taong gulang, po [Five years old, ma'am.]

Old woman: Ah. May kapatid ka ba? [Ah. Do you have a sibling?]

Child: Opo. [Yes ma'am].

Old woman: Lalaki ba? [Is it a boy?]

Child: Hindi po, babae po. [No ma'am, it's a girl].

You pretty much get the picture, right? The use of "po" and "opo" are drilled into our heads the moment we can start talking. I've never addressed close family members using those terms (we were more Western in our upbringing), but I was taught to use them with older people outside the family.

And my parents never tried to "sweet-talk" me out of doing anything or when they were telling me not to do something. When they meant business, they MEANT business. My sister and I could tell when they got mad about something we did, and we usually learned out lesson, and never did it ever again. They never cursed at me and my sister, bu we DID know when they were mad.

All in all, I think I can say that while what they did has left scars on my trust and confidence (I have never confided anything to my father, for example, because he was the one who did the spanking when I was young), I do have to say that they did raise me and my sister right. My sister and I are more or less respectable young women (hah! They haven't seen what I talk about online), and for them, they did a pretty good job.

~ Harle

2004-01-23T16:25:00.000+08:00

Filking and the People of the TPTS

"Ang ganda ng poem mo [Your poem is beautiful]! I love its elegaic quality. Naiinggit ako sa mga nakakasulat ng ganyan [I'm jealous of people who can write like that]!

It inspired me to read Lord Byron. :D"

~ email on my first poem filk from Christina Montes of the TPTS

I've taken to poem filking now.

What's poem filking? Well, basically it's like song filking - you take an established text, whether song or poetry, and then add words and/or change already existing ones so that they fit in with something you want to do.

Apparently, the people of the TPTS are all crazy about filking. There are several song filks up on the website, but I think mine is the first poem filk yet. So far, the people seem to like it quite a bit, and as Christina commented above, she likes the "elegaic" quality of it.

The thing is, I don't think I've really achieved that level of greatness yet. After all, all I did was copy a poem, change a few words here and there, and submitted it. Most of the hard work was done by Lord Byron (for writing the poem on which I based my filk) and Tolkien (for creating the cities I mentioned in the filk).

Anyway, if anybody wants to read it, here it is:

--~*~--

A Lament to Doriath and Gondolin

Standard disclaimers apply.

I.
Oh! Weep for those that died by Sirion’s
stream,
Turgon’s halls are desolate, whose land a
dream;
Weep, for the harps of Doriath now lie
still,
Mourn—where Thingol hath dwelt the
fish now dwell!

II.
And where shall Doriath lave her bleeding
feet?
And when shall Menegroth’s songs again seem
sweet?
And Gondolin’s melody once more rejoice
The hearts that leap’d before its heavenly
voice?

III.
Elves of the wandering foot and weary
breast,
How shall ye flee away and be at rest!
The great eagle hath his eyrie, the nightingale her
tree,
But Doriath and Gondolin now lie in the
sea!

--~*~--

And that's it.

~ Harle

2004-01-21T18:03:00.000+08:00

A Letter to Someone who Could (and by all rights SHOULD) have been My Friend...

Dear _______________,

Hey, long time no talk. How've you been? How's life treating you? Me, it's been okay. Good, actually. There's wrinkles and crinkles here and there - okay, so there's more underneath the surface than even I would like to think, but...that's too depressing a subject to talk about. And I don't think you'd want to hear about the depressing stuff in my life.

Or maybe you do. Maybe that's why you dropped by here one fine day, hoping to catch a glimpse of how my life is. Luckily enough - for you or for me, I don't know - you dropped by during a time when life WAS good for me, more or less. I can't say that life is always good, but there are highs, and that time was one of them.

You dropped by, and liked what you saw. You said that you liked my humor, the way I could write about mundane, everyday things and make them sound so interesting. Maybe that's what got you going. You seemed like the type of guy who would be interested in someone who could make you laugh.

Is it hard to make you laugh? Some people seem to think so. You can make other people laugh so easily, but do they make you laugh? Is it really that hard to make you laugh? If that is so, then I'll take it as a compliment that I'm that good a writer. But if not, well...any compliment is good anytime, especially from someone like you.

When you told me that, we got to talking. You said you wanted to know what went on behind the digital curtains, what went on in real life. And me, being the stupid, idiotic, hormonally-driven girl that I was at that time, DID let you behind the curtain. I allowed you a small glimpse into what lay behind the smiles and the laughter and the twisted, yet still amusing, humor.

And I don't think you liked what you saw, if your silence after that was any indication.

But you asked, and who am I to deny you? Well, maybe I should have denied you. I think I crammed too much down your throat in one go. Maybe that's what scared you away. You saw behind the mask and to the truth beyond. You saw the bogs that lay just out of sight beyond the flowering meadows and the sunshine.

Maybe it was wrong of me to let you in so quickly. People say that I'm too trusting, that others can take advantage of me. But that's what called you to me, wasn't it? The fact that I let total strangers take a glimpse into my life and am not bothered about it.

But as you so learned, I still do hold some secrets near to me. There are many secrets that I hold near to me. And when I tried to share them with you, you didn't come back.

It's too late now. This place is not as happy as it seems. Life isn't as happy as it seems anymore. You'd know that, if you still come by to look, if only out of curiosity - if you remember me at all.

But that doesn't matter anymore. Life goes on, and will always. If you have forgotten about me, then I suppose it's only right. You have your own life to lead, and you probably don't have time for this anymore. If you haven't forgotten about me, and still remember me in some small way - even if it is only to make fun of me and my gullibility - then I thank you for that.

It was my fault, I guess, rushing things and hoping for something I couldn't have. It seemed as if my dreams were on the verge of coming true when I had thought they would never, and I clung to that hope. Because of that, because I clung too much to a silly, girlish hope, I ruined whatever chance I had at being your friend.

That is my only regret here. By all rights, we should have been friends, even if there were so many discrepancies between the two of us - distance, age, culture. Friendship isn't picky in that regard, and you know that as well as I do. But what has happened, has happened, and I can do nothing but look back and wonder what it would have been like if I had changed a few things here and there, if I had not been over-eager, if I had been silent on some things, and more vocal about others.

But there's nothing left to say. Like I said before, what has happened has happened, and I cannot change that, even if I wanted to. I still want to be your friend, if you will permit that, but if I am not allowed that privilege...oh well.

Oh well.

Yours truly,

Your Should-Have-Been Friend

2004-01-18T17:01:00.000+08:00

ROTK and Cons (or: HA~PPY!!!!)

"Ang GANDA!!!!" ["It's BEAUTIFUL!!!!"]

~ me commenting on ROTK, as well as on Hadhafang, Narsil and Sting at the TPTS booth at the 2nd. Sci-Fi and Fantasy Con today at Rockwell Mall

First, quizzies snatched from Anand's friends' page and other places:

A sneaky snob, my favorite kind!

Are You a Fic Snob?
brought to you by Quizilla

Maybe, to a certain extent... After all, I don't just read ALL the fics there are out there...

Golly Gee!! You are NORMAN ROCKWELL.
You are a painter of simple, everyday happenings.
You tend to avoid the outrageous and stay well
within the guidelines of society. Your friends
count on you for your loyalty and
level-headedness.

Which famous artist most reflects your personality?
brought to you by Quizilla

What was that quote from that booklet they were selling at the TPTS booth? "It is in the little things that we find things of beauty."

Which [5 Elements] are you?

I just checked my Chinese horoscope, and I'm supposed to be Wood, not Gold... *shrugs* Ah well...

center>
Which [Movie Genres] are you?

I prefer fantasy, thank you very much...

You are blessed with FAERY wings. Beauty,
laughter, life, magic...that's what you are all
about. You are refreshingly innocent and happy
with your life of purity and play. Life's a
game and it's a good one. In your eyes there's
no way to lose! You can be very mischeivous and
have been known to cause trouble, but it's all
in the name of fun and not meant to really harm
anyone. You like to play tricks on people who
aren't quite as bright or clever as you - which
is almost everyone. Nature is the setting you
prefer to be in - Always. Barefoot and wild you
can't be tamed. You're probably a restless
spirit who loves to travel, and quite a
dreamer. Your creativity is astounding and your
art (of whatever media - from writing to
painting to drama) is like something from
another world - ethereal and often very
fantasy-oriented. You can either be a social
butterfly or a loner with their head in the
clouds - but rarely inbetween. You stubbornly
refuse to accept responsibility or to give in
to the wishes of others - unless you feel like
it. You have a strong passion for music and
can't imagine life without it. You'll grow up
someday, but you'll always be a child at heart.
You are adventurous and love to take risks, and
feel a deep connection with the weather,
plants, and animals. You prefer sunshine to
thunder or snow, the warmth of summer to
autumn's chill, and quiet forests to suburban
backyards. Magic through and through, you are
far more powerful than you seem, and are
capable of being extremely passionate. Though
you can be childish, naive, stubborn, and
self-absorbed, one thing is certain - life with
you will never be boring!

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

This is more of Mel's department, but I like faery wings either way.

You are a Samurai.
You have trained the majority of your life. You are
honerable, you follow your word. You spare no
one once in combat, but that is expected, for
your oponent would do the same to you. You use
a two-handed katana.

What type of Swordsman are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*grins broadly* KENSHIN RULES!

You are a tabby cat. The total home-body. You'd be
content just to stay at home all day and not
get up from the couch. You lazy sloth! Try and
make a movement every now and then, or someone
might decide to bury you in the back yard!

What color of cat are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*the good ole cat-ears pop up at the top of the head* Mreow...

--~*~--

I can only use one phrase to sum up the LOTR Trilogy:

Epic in scope, epic in emotional exploration... EPIC in every sense of the word.

And indeed, that's the only way to completely describe the Trilogy. It explores so many things and delves into so many emotions, that after you watch all three movies (and I did, trust me...) end to end, it's like...I don't know...catharsis.

I've watched the movie twice. And I will watch it a third, a fourth time - as long as the opportunity presents itself, I will.

The movies are great therapy. Great catharsis.

I needed it.

--~*~--

I will cackle now: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I just got back from the 2nd. Sci-Fi & Fantasy Con at Rockwell, and I am very, VERY happy. I have photos from today, and I will post them up as soon as my mom has them developed and I have them scanned.

I came in "semi-costume" today: a white long-sleeved blouse with "Eowyn sleeves" and brown twiny-flower patterns on the upper arms and at the sides of the torso. The skirt was a dark brown velvet-type material up to the middle of my calf. There's a strip of materal in a floral pattern sewed close to the hem, and that band of material us edged with the a rather stiff lace-like thing in khaki. The same lace is overlaid on the belt. For footwear, I was wearing brown step-ins (what did my aunt call them? Sapadillas) with a metal buckle, and for accessories, I brought a dark brown leather messenger bag, a pendant made of a clear quartz crystal hanging on a black string, and a ring consisting of an oval of clear quartz set in silver.

... Yeah, I know I suck at decriptions. But when the photos come in, you'll all be able to see ^^.

At the TPTS booth, the best part was the weapons display. They had Sting, Anduril and Hadhafang on display there. I got lucky today, and so I have pictures of me holding Hadhafang and Sting.

The photos will do all the talking when I show them next time ^_^.

~ Harle

2004-01-10T17:14:00.000+08:00

Start of School, Tarot Readings for Anand, Coffeebased, and Mad Maeglin, and Other Stuff

The Wheel weaves what the Wheel wills."

~ Moiraine Sedai, from Robert Jordan's "The Eye of the World," Book 1 of the Wheel of Time

First of all, quizzes that I snatched from various places (mostly from Anand's friends' page:

What LotR Mary Sue cliche are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Naturally...

Your soul is bound to the Rose Bud: The
Naive.

"I keep all of my secrets somewhere inside
and though I haven't let myself shine to the
world, I'm good for something but too good to
give to you."

The Rose Bud is associated with innocence,
curiosity, and confidence. It is governed by
the god Cupid and its sign is The Dewdrop, or
Puppy Love.

As a Rose Bud, you may have grand ideas about love
and you may well be inexperienced. You tend to
be optomistic, idealistic, and curious, but
it's just because you like being a positive
person. You also may have high thoughts of
yourself, and can come off a bit conceited, but
it's just a mask to hide your lack of
experience.

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla

I guess...

You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

And I'd better, I suppose, or else I won't have any success as a writer...

Ladyharle in Title Deed

(Jamie Lee Curtis) has in one day isolated most of her campaign supporters. Punctuated by a series of mysterious phone calls, her best laid plan is in serious doubt, and , her attorney (Cate Blanchett), is being frightfully unhelpful. (Elizabeth Taylor) has an escape, though the jury is out regarding the wisdom involved in that process.

Produced by ianiceboy

*chortles* Funny...

I am Strength

Strength represents patience and compassion. Getting angry is easy when events turn sour, but dealing calmly with frustration takes great strength. So does accepting others and forgiving mistakes. We need strength to mold situations softly. The Chariot controls through mastery and authority. Card 8 is more subtle, even loving. Notice how the lion (itself a symbol of strength) is being guided and tamed by the woman's gentle hands.

For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.com

What tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate.

Mebbe...

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm not THAT mean...

The backspace key! You are happy in life and you
will be happy enough to help anyone at all and
the backspace key helps a lot of people by
correcting thier mistakes.
Thank's for taking my quiz!

Which key on the keyboard are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Is this a commentary on my memory span?

You are the Proud owner of Orlando Bloom's Eyes!
His eyes are the most gorgeous on the planet so
consider yourself lucky. Enjoy getting lost in
those deep brown orbs of chocolate goodness.

Which part of Orlando Bloom's body do you own?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeah, I'm a sucker for gorgeous eyes...

Bet you practice Wicca or Paganism or possibly more liberal Christianity. You probably love Dead Can Dance, anything ethereal, and might be vegetarian. You probably also like to hug people.

What kind of goth are you?

Created by ptocheia

Quite accurate, really...

Oolong tea: Bold and cultural.

What kind of tea are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

This ought to be types of coffee...

Congratulations! You're Legolas!

Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hey, in a tropical country, you HAVE to bathe at least once a day, and at least twice during summer! So sue me!

You're ELEGANT sexy! You have a tasteful style,
that not only draws attention to you, but gives
you respect. Your style is more graceful than
that of others.

What kind of sexy are you? [For girls only! With Pics! Finally Finished!]
brought to you by Quizilla

*blinks* Am I, really?

--~*~--

Next: Tarot readings for Mad Maeglin, Coffeebased, and Anand.

Mad Maeglin's reading

January: Queen of Pentacles (future plans) + 5 of Pentacles (loss; unpleasant differences)

~ There is the presence of a feminine influence who is good with handling money, but can be demanding and critical. There will be a chance for you to get all the rewards you have worked to get for so long, and this is also a good time to plan for the future. However, you had better watch out, because there is also the possibility of losing a home or a job. Differences could come up that will separate you from your lovers or family. Try to learn to bend a little, to compromise, and everything should be fine.

February: Page of Swords (impulsiveness; troubles) + 3 of Pentacles (profitable skills; satisfaction)

~ Be careful, because you may start acting impulsively during this time. That is not a very wise thing to do, because you may end up biting more than you can chew and get yourself into a lot of trouble. Also, this is an advance warning of trouble in your life, accompanied by unexpected changes. On the other hand, this also indicates a time of "creative high," when your talents and skills are put to good and profitable use for you. You will feel a great sense of satisfaction after completing a particular project.

March: Death (transformation) + 10 of Swords (disruption; dark times)

~ An unexpected event forces you to make a dramatic change. Lies and illusions are taken away, and you only see the clear, naked truth. Plans are about to be disrupted, no matter how well-laid they are. To survive, you will have to make radical changes and adjustments about yourself and the way you live.

April: Queen of Cups (strong psychic feelings) + The Hanged Man (suspended activity)

~ There is a female influence present, who is loving and protective by nature. There is a sense of quiet contentment about your life and the way it is going. This is also a period of strong pyschic feelings. It might be wise to take advantage of this increase in psychic activity, due to the fact that you will most likely be in a state wherein you cannot come to a firm decision. Be careful of illusions, because this is not the proper time to be off floating in the clouds. You think things are not moving, and that is true, because you cannot come to a firm decision.

May: The Star (spiritual experiences) + 6 of Cups (reunions; unexpected gifts)

~ During this time, you may feel the need to stretch your spiritual limitations, to test your boundaries and explore new possibilities. Divine guidance is available for you, but you must listen to get that guidance. A reunion with old friends is possible. With new opportunities on the horizon, it would be wise to go and grab them while they are there, before they slip away from you forever. You may also be receiving unexpected gifts.

June: 4 of Swords (rest; a pause) + The Magician (self-control; learning magick)

~ During this time, you will rest from a very troubling and anxiety-filled point in your life. This is the momentary pause before things become better. It is also possible that your physical energy will experience a drop during this time. Also, this is a time whne you will be studying new things to gain what you want and need. All your thoughts and actions flow in harmony towards your goal. During this time, it would be wise to learn self-control, in order to gain what you want.

July: 9 of Pentacles (comfortable aloneness) + 8 of Wands (movement; urgency)

~ During this time, you may feel more comfortable with yourself, and thus do not seek the companionship as actively as before. Also, barriers that once surrounded you drop away all of a sudden, and you realize that you have more room to move around in. Remember that this period of almost total freedom will not last, and so you must move quickly to get what you want. Urgent messages of good news start heading your way. A trip by air is possible.

August: 5 of Swords (slander; arguments; failure) + King of Swords (opposition; obey the laws)

~ Slander, arguments, and pettiness of a malicious nature are coming your way. It's possible that your plans may fail. Avoid rash behavior, because that is what will lead you into trouble. Now is not the time to rebel. You must play against the rules, especially if you are handed a new project. Not playing the game by the guidelines will get you into further trouble. There might also be the presence of a powerful but stubborn masculine influence, who may also be opposing you.

September: Knight of Wands (sudden changes) + 4 of Pentacles (grasping at money)

~ Things are about to change very suddenly, so you must be as quick on your toes as well, so that you will be able to cope up with these changes. If you want to solve everything in your favor, you must move as fast as you can. If you have been stuck in something, you will become un-stuck and move forward. However, be wary of people who are not good at handling money, and be careful of how you use your money. Being too stingy or having someone who is stingy nearby could ruin your plans. It is possible that you will receive a gift or an inheritance.

October: 9 of Swords (great sadness; loss) + 6 of Pentacles (just rewards)

~ This could be a time of great sadness and depression. You will be receiving what is due you, for good or bad. If you loaned someone money, that loan will be repayed.

November: 10 of Cups (goals reached; contentment) + 3 of Swords (emotional upheavals)

~ Your goals are reached successfully. Contentment and happiness will come into your life. Strong friendships or love will be bright spots in your life. A happy family occasion is possible during this time. However, arguments and emotional upheavals could put a damper to your plans. You will feel betrayed by someone close to you.

December: The Chariot (maintaining balanced control) + Page of Pentacles (message of love)

~ If you can maintain balanced control over a situation, and if you maintain your confidence and stay centered. You're going to have to pull two opposing forces together to make a situation work for you. In the meantime, fresh ideas and new methods of doing things make you more optimistic about your future. A message of love arrives, and you may receive a gift given in friendship like that.

Important Event: Two of Swords (tension; indecision) + Page of Pentacles (news of money)

~ You are unable to make decisions in your relationships or friendships, and that causes or increases the tension that's going on. You are having a hard time gaining your sense of balance, and that is affecting your plans about where you want to go. You must balance two things that are important in your life, and you cannot come to a firm decision regarding these two things. On the other hand, news of money comes unexpectedly to you. Prophetic dreams could be on the horizon, so pay close attention to your dreams.

--~*~--

Coffeebased'sreading

January: 6 of Cups (reunions; unexpected gifts) + 8 of Cups (lack of discipline)

~ A reunion with old friends may be on the horizon. New opportunities are on the way; be sure that you are ready to act on them. Unexpected gifts may surprise you. Make sure, however, that you do not abandon your goals too soon. If you do not discipline yourself, you may end up failing. Face up to your responsibilities, do not walk away from them, or you will end up more miserable than before.

February: 6 of Pentacles (just rewards) + The Emperor (power; God influence)

~ You will be receiving what is due you, good or bad. Someone repays a past loan of money or time. If you implement your leadership skills, your life will be smoother. You may be influenced by a charismatic personality. You may move into a position of power. God influences will control your life. However, be careful that you do not control other people or allow yourself to be controlled.

March: 10 of Wands (struggle; loss) + 4 of Pentacles (grasping at money)

~ You have to struggle to keep things going. A difficult series of events wears on your strength and endurance. You will experience a minor but painful loss after much effort. You or someone close to you is very money oriented. There may be a person close to you, or you yourself, who has an unhealthy grasping control of finances. You could receive gifts, even an inheritance.

April: 9 of Wands (a pause) + 4 of Cups (old memories; dissatisfaction)

~ There is a pause after a difficult period in life, giving you much needed rest. This is a time when you must carefully plan your next step. Success is in sight but more effort is needed. Also, stop dwelling on old memories. One of your relationships, whether with family, friends, or a lover, will be tested.

May: 3 of Wands (planning; partnership) + The Tower (discord; catastrophe)

~ Successful ideas require a period of planning to succeed. A partnership is possible in your work, and establish communications with distant places. However, be prepared, because a shocking event will happen that will leave you changed. Potential catastrophe is near, so it is best to be prepared. Your life is complicated by discord in a relationship or in the family. Unforseen setbacks bring frustration and despondency.

June: 7 of Pentacles (anxiety; progress stopped) + Page of Pentacles (news of money)

~ Progress could be stopped in the middle of a project. Your effort may be spent on the wrong things. News of money comes unexpectedly. You could experience a period of prophetic dreams. Now is the opportunity to delve into a new area of study and knowledge.

July: High Priestess (unknown future) + 5 of Cups (negative events)

~ Hidden influences are at work; the future is in the process of being formed, and thus cannot be fully predicted. This is an appropriate time to practice developing your intuition and psychic abilities, to be more introspective. This is also the time to make new goals and refine old ones. You may be hurt from seeing through an illusion. This could also be a period when you tend to dwell only on negative events and happenings. A friendship or relationship may be broken.

August: The Lovers (an emotional decision) + 5 of Swords (slander; arguments; failure)

~ You may be faced with an attraction or a temptation that may not be good for you. There will be an attraction of opposites that may be difficult to reconcile. When you make a decision, do it based on the facts, and not on your emotions. You may also face a period of malicious gossip and slander targeted against you. It is possible that your plans may fail. Do not be to rash, because that's where the trouble will come from.

September: The Sun (positive events) + 2 of Wands (focus will and energy)

~ Positive events leave you feeling happy and free. You may be blessed with material gain or recognition for your work, and good news is on its way. Focus your will and energy to accomplish your plans and gain what you desire. Help with realization of a dream may come from a distance. A new endeavor requires courage and planning for the future.

October: High Priest (facing karmic issues) + The World (achieving success and goals)

~ Abide by the rules, or suffer the consequences. A situation may require you to sign a contract or a document; read the fine print carefully so that you know what you are getting yourself into. Your dreams may tell you that you should stop running away from reality and your responsibilities and start facing up to them. In the end, everything may go right for you. You are entering a period of time wherein everything you do in all aspects of your life will be successful.

November: The Hermit (solitude) + The Moon (dreams; intuition)

~ You may prefer solitude at this point in time, or you may meet someone who does. A counselor or teacher gives you sound advice. Rethink your goals after giving the situation much thought; use all practical resources to come to a decision. Pull back from the frantic pace of your life or you may end up damaging your health. Also, pay attention to your dreams, even if they come unexpectedly. This is a time when you may act impulsively. Be warned: secret enemies are at work, and people are not who they seem because of the illusions they place around themselves. Deception may be used against you. Also, stop thinking negatively, because it is going to do more harm than good.

December: 9 of Cups (wishes granted) + 7 of Wands (difficulties; competition)

~ Your wish will be granted. Success, accomplishment and satisfaction are on their way into your life. However, there will be difficult times ahead before any of these things can happen. Competition in something important to you will bring difficulty and harsh feelings. Be aware and protect yourself against adversaries. Now is the time to take a stand on an issue that is important to you.

Important Event: The Chariot (maintaining balanced control) + King of Pentacles (success in business and money)

~ Balanced control of a situation allows you to benefit. Success comes through confidence and being centered. You must pull together two opposing forces to accomplish a goal. There may be a masculine influence present who is domineering, but wise and loyal. Success in money matters is now possible. Beware of stubborness that could alienate others.

--~*~--

Anand's reading

January: Knight of Wands (sudden changes) + 4 of Cups (old memories; dissatisfaction)

~ There is a possibility of sudden change in some aspect of your life. Quick action is needed to resolve some issues in your favor. Things are now moving forward. On the other hand, stop dwelling on old memories. They only hold you back. A relationship is tested. You may experience illogical dissatisfaction with a relationship or job.

February: Ace of Swords (decision; activity) + The Moon (dreams; intuition)

~ You are in the process of making decisions that will affect your life for some time. A new period or cycle of much activity is imminent. Beware of activity without thought, because not everything is as it seems. Dreams may come unexpectedly to you; pay close attention to them, because they may have something to tell you. Be wary of those who know how to cast illusions about themselves, and prepare yourself against the attacks of secret enemies. Deception is being used against you. Also, get rid of your negative and illusory thinking, because it only holds you back.

March: 5 of Wands (obstacles; opposition) + Death (transformation)

~ Obstacles and opposition from others may complicate your life; you will have to struggle to overcome this. Harmful gossip could damage your reputation and/or career. On the other hand, a significant transformation approaches. An unplanned event requires you to make a dramatic or radical change. Illusions are stripped away, leaving you with the bare truth.

April: The Emperor (power; God influence) + The Magician (self-control; learning magick)

~ Your life will be smoother if you cultivate leadership and stability in order to progress. You may be influenced by a charismatic personality. You may move into a position of power in your job. If you have been thinking of something involving real estate, now is a good time to make a transaction. Be careful, however, of controlling others, and of others controlling you. On the other hand, you are learning how to use faith and willpower to get what you want. Your thoughts and actions flow in harmony to accomplish what must be done. This would be a good time to learn self-control.

May: Queen of Swords (learning lessons; manipulation) + 8 of Swords (restriction; fear)

~ You will be faced with an important lesson that you must learn but have been avoiding. Be careful of getting your way through manipulation, because doing so may backfire in the end, and it will come back worse than before. A turn of events or your own indecision leaves you feeling bound and restricted. You do not want to leave an unpleasant relationship or job. There is also the possibility of illness.

June: King of Wands (ambition; leadership) + 5 of Swords (slander; arguments; failure)

~ A masculine influence, who is powerful in the business world, may help you in making a decision. Ambition and leadership will get you ahead in your career. Beware that haste and ego do not get you into trouble. Also, you may face a period of malicious slander, arguments and pettiness. There is a possibility of failure of plans. Problems and trouble may arise from rash behavior.

July: Page of Pentacles (news of money) + The Wheel (change of fortune)

~ News of money comes unexpectedly. You could experience a period of prophetic dreams. Now is your chance to delve into a new area of study and knowledge. Also, luck and fate are turning to your favor. You have entered a change of life cycles that will allow you to move forward or slide backward, depending on how prepared and determined you are. It is time to make changes.

August: 7 of Pentacles (anxiety; progress stopped) + The Tower (discord; catastrophe)

~ Progress could be stopped in the middle of a project. There is a possibility of anxiety about finances. Your effort is spent on the wrong things. Also, you may experience or witness a shocking event that leaves you changed. Potential catastrophe is near; be prepared. Your life is complicated by discord in the family or relationship. Unforeseen setbacks may cause frustration and despondency. Your dreams may collapse into nothing.

September: King of Cups (emotional events) + The Hermit (solitude)

~ There is the presence of a loving and caring masculine influence. There is a possibility of a journey across water. You may experience moodswings. Also, you may crave solitude or you may meet someone who does. A counselor or teacher gives you sound advice. Rethink your goals after giving the situation much thought; use all practical resources to come to your decision. Pull back from your frantic round of activities or your health and happiness may be harmed.

October: 5 of Pentacles (loss; unpleasant differences) + Page of Cups (message of love)

~ Take care, because differences arise that could divide friends or lovers. There may be a period of deep loneliness. On the other hand, fresh ideas and new methods of doing things make your view on life more optimistic. A message of love arrives. You receive a gift given in friendship.

November: 2 of Wands (focus will and energy) + King of Swords (opposition; obey the laws)

~ Focus your will and energy to accomplish your desires. Help with realization of a dream may come from afar. A new endeavor requires courage and planning for the future. A powerful but stubborn male influence may be opposing you. This is not the time to do your own thing; you must play by the rules or suffer the consequences. Play the game by the rules, or else you will lose.

December: Strength (courage; inner strength) + 2 of Pentacles (harmony through changes)

~ Let your intuition guide you in taking a stand. If you are right in a disagreement, don't give in, but use calm persuasion to carry you to victory. Use courage, willpower, and inner strength to overcome difficulties. Prepare to juggle two life-events without losing control. You will know harmony and contentment even if there are changes going on around you. This is a time of moodswings and fluctuations in energy.

Important Event: Ace of Cups (joy; fertile period) + 7 of Cups (daydreams; responsibility)

~ New beginnings in your life will bring you joy and contentment. Your spiritual growth will expand and take you to a higher level of understanding. There is the possibility of a new love. This is also a fertile time for ideas. However, you may spend too much time daydreaming and not enough time taking action. Too many projects are going on at once and not enough is done on any one. You may refuse to look at reality.

--~*~--

Classes for me already started a few days ago, and I have to admit this now: my schedule doesn't really suck all that much, since I end up not having to attend classes MWF, but that does mean I won't be able to meet up with The Pan the on as often as I would like. I can only meet them every other Wednesday, after that excuse I gave to my mom about supposedly having to attend org meetings on that same schedule. Mai, I'll most likely be there to meet Ginny-chan, so don't ye worry ^_~.

So far, everything has been going good. I have a lot of good friends with me in my classes, and Mel and I have the same break and dismissal, so that's okay for me.

--~*~--

Since I don't have to go to school on MWF, that leaves me with a LOT of time on my hands. So what do I do?

Watch DVDs.

Just last Friday, I watched Patriot Games and Hero. The former is based on a Tom Clancy novel, while the latter is the biggest Chinese movie to have been ever made - and it makes a LOT more sense than Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

Why did I watch Patriot Games? Simply to see Sean Bean (Boromir in LOTR) talk in an Irish accent ^_~. I'm currently looking for a DVD of Goldeneye featuring Pierce Brosnan, because it's got Sean Bean as the lead antagonist, Agent 006.

As for Hero, it deals with the question: do you do something for yourself, or for the common good? Aside from the excellent story, the fight scenes are wonderful too. I paid close attention to the swords, and I do have to admit they're cool ^_~.

--~*~--

Speaking of Sean Bean, Mel's obsessed over the man. VERY much obsessed. If only for her, I'd like to know where I can get DVD copies of the episodes of the TV-series version of Lady Chatterly's Lover. Just to show Mel Sean Bean au naturel, I think is the term ^_~.

Also, lately I've been into making computer wallpapers. I'm not all that good yet, since I'm not that well-versed with Photoshop yet, but I'm learning. Slowly. I've given Mel two wallpapers of Sean Bean (one of him as Boromir and another of him as Alan Barrows, a made-up character), and I have another one of him hostage until she gives me her promised Quentin-Stella smut ^_^.

Neeway, that's all for now. I got more to say, but can't because Nickelodeon playing in the background is getting on my nerves and I can't elaborate on much.

~ Harle

2004-01-03T21:45:00.000+08:00

New Year's Tarot Readings

"Nothing is ever written in stone. Not even this."

~ Mie Djeserit, from my new fic, "Forgotten Lands of Arda"

Last New Year's Eve, I decided to do a little treat for The Pan the on: I did a Tarot reading (using my Celtic Dragon Tarot deck) that gave insights into what could possibly happen to them for the rest of the coming year.

I don't remember the name of the spread anymore; I only remember coming across it when I was reading a book about Tarot spreads in Powerbooks recently, and kept it in my mind. It was elegantly simple: make a ring of twelve places, one for each month, with two cards per month, and in the center, two more cards telling what could possibly be the "highlight" or the important event of the coming year.

I am supposed to do a couple more for Mad Maeglin and Coffeebased, but I haven't had the energy to do it, so... That will come soon ^^;.

Anyway, here goes!

--~*~--

Mel's reading

January: Page of Wands (important news; foreign places) + 10 of Swords (disruption; dark times)

~ A message is coming soon - most likely news related to your studies. Something might come up that will put you in contact with foreign countries or people. However, something is bound to crop up that will result in the disruption of laid-down plans. There is also the possibility of deep depression. It's possible that the message to come will result in the disruption, or it is the disruption and dark times that will lead to the message, and thus to hope.

February: Temperance (new perspectives) + 2 of Swords (tension, indecision)

~ This indicates a time of creative inspiration, but this will also be a time of tension in relationships and friendships. There is also the lack "balance," of harmony with the rest of the world. Plans may not go as you wish them, and these may hamper your ability to adapt to new circumstances. Self-control is the possible solution to your dilemma, and may well be what you need to get through your problems and make a firm decision.

March: The Star (spiritual experiences) + 5 of Wands (obstacles; opposition)

~ The cosmos are trying to tell you something, but something else is getting in the way. There is a need for spiritual connections and new spiritual experiences beyond what you are used to, and you feel the need to stretch your limits and try something new, but others bar the way. Other people may oppose you, and they may spread very harmful gossip which will hinder you from gaining what you wish. Keep in mind, though, that the best way to overcome these things is to listen to what the Goddess and the God have to say. Maintain the spiritual connection, and you will get through this.

April: Ace of Swords (decisions; activity) + The Wheel (change of fortune)

~ Life-changing decisions are on their way, and their effects will shake your life up very much. Things will go in your favor, yet it is up to your decision - whether to move forward or to stay behind - that will decide whether these good things come to you or not. Beware, therefore, of making decisions without thinking them through, because whatever you decide will affect your life for a good long time to come.

May: 7 of Cups (daydreams; responsibility) + High Priestess (unknown future)

~ There is more dreaming done than actual work. You alone can shape the future into what you will it, and if you do not wake up soon, the chance to make a decision for yourself may slip away from you. There are too many things going on, and this may hinder you from the introspection that you most definitely need at this point in time. Now is the time to take responsibility and set new goals for yourself, or push through with old ones.

June: Knight of Pentacles (gains and losses) + 3 of Swords (emotional upheavals)

~ Arguments are forthcoming, as well as moodswings that range from mild to rather violent. There is a feeling of loss and betrayal by someone close to you. There are things to be gained and lost in this turbulent time, whether material or otherwise. Money, most likely in the form of a loan being repaid, will come in.

July: Queen of Cups (strong psychic feelings) + Queen of Pentacles (future plans)

~ There is the presence of a feminine influence who is loving, protective, and good with money, but she is also critical and may be demanding. This indicates a time of quiet contentment with your life, which makes it a good time to make plans about the future. Rewards that you have worked long and hard to get are acquired during this time. Your psychic abilities are strong, so use them to the best of your abilities to better your condition.

August: Chains (oppressive situations) + King of Swords (opposition; obey the law)

~ There is the fear or reluctance to break away from the bad situation or relationship, thus keeping you chained to a situation that does nothing good for you in the first place. There is also the possibility of someone bullying you into doing things you wouldn't want to do. You could also be refusing to see the truth about something, thus keeping you stuck in a massive rut. You will be forced to play by the rules, whether you like it or not, or else you may lose the game. There is a powerful and very stubborn masculine influence who is involved in the situation, and may be trying to oppose you.

September: Knight of Cups (unexpected pleasant times) + 4 of Cups (old memories; dissatisfaction)

~ Dreams and happy times are on their way. Someone you admire or care for deeply is going to show up and you will have time to spend with said person. However, do not let the past get in the way and ruin everything. Memories are better left as just that: memories. You should learn from them, but never let them get in the way of whatever is in the present, and especially not allow them to influence the future more than as lessons learned.

October: 4 of Swords (rest; a pause) + Strength (courage; inner strength)

~ There is a period of rest after a time of upset and anxiety. Use this time to build up your courage, and to take a stand on something that you believe is right. After this, things can quite possibly get better, if you decide that what you are fighting for is indeed worth fighting for. Do not back down just yet, because if you feel that what you are doing is the right thing, then go ahead and do so. Listen to your conscience and your heart. This may indicate a time of low energy physically.

November: 10 of Pentacles (property; business) + 8 of Swords (restriction; fear)

~ You feel as if you are trapped, and that you cannot help yourself, but the truth is that you can. It will be painful, cutting yourself free, but in the end that is what is most important: freedom. A family reunion could lift your spirits. Be aware, however, that there is the possibility of illness, so take care of yourself and everything will be alright.

December: 6 of Swords (journeys; difficult choices) + King of Wands (ambition; leadership)

~ There is the possibility of a trip from one place to another. You must make a very difficult decision aswell, one that may involve many great changes. Your leadership capabiliies, as well as your ambitions, play an important role in getting what you want. The influence of a man who is successful in the business world who could help in making a decision. Just be careful that you don't take your ego too far and let it get you in trouble.

Important Event: Queen of Swords (learning lessons; manipulation) + 2 of Wands (focus will and energy)

~ It is time to learn the lessons that you have been avoiding all this time. This time, you will be required to really focus your energies on something that you really want. If you do that, you may get it. A little manipulation here and there may help you get whatever it is you want, but remember that manipulation is a double-edged sword, and that it may backfire on you in the worst possible manner.

--~*~--

Mai's reading

January: Knight of Wands (sudden changes) + 4 of Swords (rest; a pause)

~ You have reached a break after a long and emotionally trying time. During this time, it is important to make fast decisions to resolve everything in your favor. You will have to cope with a lot of things happening very suddenly, but if you are quick on your feet and can think clearly enough to make good decisions while on the fly, then things may yet come down to something good for you.

February: 3 of Swords (emotional upheavals) + The Lovers (an emotional decision)

~ This is a very confusing time, with emotions running rampant. This is not the time to make your decisions based on what you feel, because emotions are high enough as they are without making them even higher by allowing them to spill into everything you decide. Keep calm, and try to think things over analytically. On the other hand, this state of turbulent emotions may actually lead to a romantic attraction, or a renewal of such. Temptation will be dangled right in front of you, but at this point in time it isn't wise to follow temptation because it is not good for you right now.

March: 3 of Cups (prosperity; success) + The Sun (positive events)

~ Things take a very good turn for the better. You feel more freedom with regards to your work. Material gain and recognition for what you do are forthcoming, along with good news. Happiness, success, and prosperity abound. Creative energies are running high, and they only bring in more success.

April: 5 of Pentacles (loss; unpleasant differences) + 6 of Swords (journeys; difficult choice)

~ There is the possibility of losing a home or job. Differences come up that will separate friends and lovers from you, followed by a long period of loneliness. There is the chance of a journey, whether physical or otherwise is not known, and you will most likely be confronted by a difficult decision. If you do not make up your mind properly, then you may lose more than you might have wished to lose - or can afford to lose.

May: King of Cups (emotional events) + 7 of Swords (bad feelings; snooping)

~ Don't go poking your nose into everybody's business, especially if they don't want you to. Don't use your personal hold on people for the wrong ends. A plan may fail because you have the wrong motives for going through with it. Remember the Three-fold Law. You may feel cheated or wronged by someone. There is the presence of a loving and caring masculine influence, as well as the possibility of a journey across water. This is also a time of moodswings.

June: 2 of Swords (tension; indecision) + 6 of Pentacles (just rewards)

~ This is a time of indecision for you, a time when your sense of balance is upset. Stability is necessary during this time, and you have to make definite decisions to go forward. Two important things in your life will be in conflict with one another, and you have to find a way to balance them both. You will get what you deserve, whether you like what you will get or not. If you loaned somebody money, they will repay it either in cash or in kind.

July: 4 of Pentacles (grasping at money) + 5 of Swords (slander; arguments; failure)

~ This is a time of much turbulence, characterized by arguments and black propaganda against you. Beware of acting rashly, because it may cause failure and no end of trouble for you. Beware also of being greedy or someone who is greedy for money. Someone close to you who has a very poor grasp of money may lead to trouble or cause trouble for you. Receiving an inheritance or a gift is also possible at this time.

August: Queen of Pentacles (future plans) + The Magician (self control; learning magick)

~ A feminine influence who is good with money will be present during this time. You will reap your rewards for all the hard work that you have done. Now is also a good time to think about the future and what you plan to do about it. To help this along, it is a good time to keep yourself and your impulses under control, because self-control will help you think more clearly and make your plans for the future stable and sound. This is also a good time to explore new spiritual possibilities and to open your mind to new ideas.

September: 4 of Wands (happiness; rest; success) + King of Pentacles (success in business and money)

~ You have come to a stage of rest and happiness after a long period of trials. A new love is also possible during this period. A masculine influence who might be domineering but who is reliable and wise will be present during this time. Success in money comes your way. Beware, however, of being stubborn, because this could result in the undoing of everything that you have worked hard to get.

October: Death (transformation) + 10 of Cups (goals reached; contentment)

~ A transformation or reinvention of the self is imminent. Unexpected events may require equally radical changes in yourself. Lies will be stripped away and you will only get the undiluted truth. Due to this, it is possible that you may reach the goals that you have long strived for, and is made even better by strong friendships or love. A happy family occasion is possible.

November: Queen of Cups (strong psychic feelings) + The Star (spiritual experiences)

~ A loving and caring female influence features strongly during this time. Strong psychic energies make you feel as if you are limited in your spiritual experiences and thus give you the strength to reach out and stretch your spiritual limits. Stretch your mind out of the box a little, and you will see things that you didn't see before. New opportunities also come your way.

December: The Hanged Man (suspended activity) + 10 of Swords (disruption; dark times)

~ The way you think and your way of life are being challenged. This time of inability to act is a good time to rethink your goals and your motivations for doing things. Take care to keep your feet firmly on the ground at all times. If you face the challenges unprepared and still undecided, you may face a long period of depression and dark times. Your whole life may be turned upside-down in the worst possible way unless you come to a decision about the issue.

Important Event: 3 of Pentacles (profitable skills; satisfaction) + The Fool (unexpected change of directions)

~ Your skills may lead you to a new way of life, something totally and radically different from what you or what others may have expected. While these changes may seem radical at first, they will eventually bring in a period of satisfaction with regards to your talents and the money that you are making out of using those talents in a new way. You may start contemplating breaking away from a prescribed path and try out a new one. An unplanned change of directions is possible.

--~*~--

Kai's reading

January: Queen of Swords (learning lessons; manipulation) + 3 of Cups (prosperity; success)

~ You will be faced with a lesson you didn't want to face before, but you will have to face it now. If you do so, success and prosperity could be on their way. A powerful feminine influence figures prominently during this time. If you are able to overcome your trials, you will reach a period of good luck and happiness. Your creativity reaches a peak during this time, and can be used to make you successful. Beware, however, of manipulating others for your own ends; you just might end up in a situation you did not want in the first place.

February: Knight of Cups (unexpected pleasant times) + 4 of Swords (rest; a pause)

~ After going through a rough time, this is a period of rest and recovery. During this time, you get to spend some time with someone you have admired and cared about for a long time. Happiness finds its way to you in the most unexpected of ways. Just remember that you have to come back to reality every now and then, that the real world is still out there and needs your attention. Likewise, do not forget to dream, because dreaming is just as important as doing.

March: 8 of Swords (restriction; fear) + Ace of Wands (new beginnings; new cycles)

~ During this time, you feel as if you are shackled and trapped, and are unable to get free, and you look to the outside world for help. Remember, however, that only you can free yourself. The world may show you what is wrong with you, but if you do not choose to help yourself, then no one will. But once you make the decision that you can free yourself, in spite of the fact that you may get hurt, a new period in your life will begin. Fresh ideas will come to you from unexpected places, and they can be of great benefit to yourself.

April: King of Cups (emotional events) + 10 of Cups (goals reached; contentment)

~ The presence of a loving and caring masculine influence is prominent during this time, along with the possibility of a journey over water. Moodswings are also possible during this time. On the other hand, goals are reached and there is a feeling of contentment about what has been accomplished. Everything is in balance and in harmony during this time. Friendships and love are strong during this time, and a family occasion is a potential bright spot during this time.

May: King of Pentacles (success in business and money) + 10 of Wands (struggle, loss)

~ Money is on its way, and a business endeavor made during this time may likely succeed. A masculine influence who is dominant but quite knowledgeable and reliable will feature prominently during this time. You may find yourself struggling to get to where you want to go, but do not give up. You may experience a loss that is relatively minor, but is painful just the same. Also, while being stubborn sometimes is well and good, it may also be a hindrance and only serve to delay you even further.

June: High Priest (facing karmic issues) + The Hermit (solitude)

~ Now is not a good time to go against the rules. Doing so right now could have dire consequences. Before you dive headlong into something, be sure that you think and re-think everything that is involved, lest you make a potentially disastrous decision. Pay close attention to your dreams and to visions that you may have during this period; they may point to things that you must deal with and take responsiblity for, but have been ignoring for some time. A teacher or guide may come up during this time to give you advice regarding your troubles. This may also indicate a time of withdrawal from certain issues that may involve you too closely, so that you will be able to get a better grasp of them and understand them more fully. Take a break - too much frantic activity is harmful both to your body and your soul.

July: Queen of Cups (strong psychic feelings) + The Hanged Man (suspended activity)

~ A feminine influence who is kind and loving figures prominently during this time. Use this time of strong psychic energies to come to a decision regarding an issue that has stagnated due to your inability to come to a firm decision. Your inability to make a decision should be a signal to you that it is time to reassess your goals and your methods of acquiring them. If it seems as if nothing is moving, it is most likely because you cannot come to a final decision, and thus, are unable to get any action done at all.

August: The Moon (dreams; intuition) + 4 of Pentacles (grasping at money)

~ Dreams, visions, and psychic insights come to you unlooked-for. Take care not to act on impulse. Watch out for people who are good at illusions, because they will be drawn into your circle, and beware of enemies who may not want to make themselves known. Get rid of your negative thoughts and illusions, because they are holding you back. Beware of deception, because it may be used against you. Also, beware of people who are greedy for money, or who are not good at handling money, because they will only cause more trouble for you than you may want at this point in time.

September: 2 of Wands (focus will and energy) + Ace of Pentacles (material success)

~ Money and material success are bound to come to you, but only if you focus yourself and apply your energy to specific tasks geared to achieving this. Someone or something from afar will come along to help you achieve a dream or a goal. Anything geared towards business or the honest acquisition of money may prove to be successful.

October: The Emperor (power; God influence) + The Sun (positive events)

~ Positive happenings are about to come your way in the form of good news, or perhaps material gain or recognition for your work. Make your leadership capabilities work for you to make your life move more smoothly. You may move into a position of power or prestige. Someone with a very powerful personality is influencing you. On the other hand, be careful, because you may be the one being manipulated.

November: Knight of Wands (sudden changes) + 8 of Wands (movement; urgency)

~ Barriers all around you drop, and you are suddenly given a freedom that you did not expect. This is a time of rapid movement, and due to this, rapid decisions are crucial. This also leads to sudden changes in yourself and in the situation around you. You must be quick on your feet if you wish to be able to cope and make the best of the situation. Positive things come flying towards you at a very quick pace. There is the possibility of a journey by air.

December: The Tower (discord; catastrophe) + 7 of Wands (difficulties, competition)

~ A shocking event comes your way, and turns your life upside-down. Setbacks and roadblocks make you feel frustrated and unable to move. You may feel as if your dreams have disintegrated into ashes. You will face competition for something or someone that is very important to you. Now is not the time to stand back and let the world take over: now is a time to fight back. Beware of adversaries who may stand in your way. Now is the time to stand up for what you believe is yours by right.

Important Event: 9 of Swords (great sadness; loss) + Knight of Pentacles (gains and losses)

~ There may be a period of deep sadness, misery, and depression. There is the possibility of a permanent loss of something valuable or the death of someone you hold dear, as well as the possibility of severe illness. There is either a loss or a gain in finances.

--~*~--

Sis' reading

January: 8 of Cups (lack of discipline) + King of Cups (emotional events)

~ Be careful, because you may be letting go of your goals too soon. Be careful, because you might be developing a ningas-cogon attitude. If you keep refusing responsibility, you will not be given a chance at happiness and contentment. A kind and loving male influence will feature prominently during this time. You may take a journey across water. There is the possibility of moodswings.

February: 3 of Pentacles (profitable skills; satisfaction) + Queen of Swords (learning lessons, manipulation)

~ Material gain can come from a hobby or a craft that you enjoy doing. This is also a good time to learn skills that could be used for profit. A powerful feminine influence features prominently during this time. This is a time when you are confronted with a lesson that you have been avoiding, but that you have to face sooner or later. Be careful with your manipulation; it is not the best thing to do at this point in time.

March: Page of Cups (message of love) + 8 of Wands (movement; urgency)

~ Fresh ideas and new ways of getting things done give you an optimistic outlook on the future. A message of love arrives, and there is the possibility of receiving a gift give in friendship. The walls that were once there disappear, and you gain the freedom to move as you will. Urgent, but positie messages start coming your way, and there is a chance of a journey by air.

April: 3 of Cups (prosperity; success) + Knight of Pentacles (gains and losses)

~ Success, good luck and happiness come into your life, along with a period of renewed creative energy. A celebration that may liven up your life may come during this period. There is the possibility of an increase or decrease with regards to money. If anyone has asked to loan money from you before, they may pay you back during this period.

May: Queen of Cups (strong psychic feelings) + Page of Wands (important news; foreign places)

~ There is the presence of a feminine influence with kind, loving and protective qualities during this period. Psychic energies run high, and they should be used to the fullest advantage to benefit you. A message of hope arrives when you need it most. There is also the arrival of important news regarding your studies. There is also the possibility of contact with foreign countries and people.

June: 4 of Cups (old memories; dissatisfaction) + King of Pentacles (success in business and money)

~ You should stop dwelling on old memories, because they are not doing you any good. You feel dissatisfied with your studies; this is an indication that you must step back and reassess your motivations and goals. A masculine influence who is domineering, but wise and reliable, is present during this time. You may become successful where money is involved. Beware, however, of being stubborn, because too much of it is only a hindrance to success.

July: The Sun (positive events) + Ace of Pentacles (material success)

~ Positive events coming your way make you feel free and happy. There is the possibility of material gain and recognition for your work, as well as the chance of good news coming your way. This period heralds the beginning of much material gain for you. With a little bit of effort, you can make this cycle of material gain continuous and steady for you.

August: 7 of Wands (difficulties; competition) + 10 of Cups (goals reached; contentment)

~ This is a period of hard times. There will be competition over someone or something that is very important to you, and may lead to disagreements or hard feelings. Adversaries are up against you, so be careful and take extra care to defend yourself against their attacks. This is not a time to stand aside; now is the time to fight for what you believe is truly yours and for what you believe is right. At the end of it all, there will be a period of happiness and contentment, with satisfaction for having accomplished all that you set yourself to accomplish.

September: Death (transformation) + The Emperor (power; God influence)

~ An unforseen event causes you to make radical changes in yourself, not just physically, but also mentally and spiritually as well. Illusions are removed and you are left with nothing but the bare truth. If you allow your leadership traits to come out, you can make your life move much more smoothly for you. Someone with a strong personality may be influencing you - but you must be careful, because you may end up being manipulated.

October: Knight of Cups (unexpected pleasant times) + The Star (spiritual experiences)

~ Someone you admire will drop by for an unexpected visit. There is the possibility of an outing with the someone you care for deeply. You feel a need to stretch beyond your comfort zone spiritually and try new things. New opportunities are presented to you, and it is up to you if you will take them or not.

November: Page of Pentacles (news of money) + 5 of Pentacles (loss; unpleasant differences)

~ Money comes unexpectedly. Prophetic dreams could be on your way, and it would be wise to pay close. This is a good time to study someting new and search for new knowledge. Watch out, because differences might arise between your friends or lover. This is a time of deep loneliness as well.

December: 4 of Pentacles (grasping at money) + 10 of Swords (disruption; dark times)

~ Beware of being greedy of money or of people who are greedy of money. Beware of trying to get things that are not yours to begin with, of taking the easy way with regards to getting things you want. There is the possibility of receiving gifts or even inheritance. There is the possibility of your plans getting disrupted or collapsing completely. Be prepared for a time to darkness in your life and soul.

Important event: Temperance (new perspectives) + Strength (courage; inner strength)

~ A period of creative inspiration, harmony and peace. Self-control and inner guidance will be beneficial for you. You must be able to adapt quicly to be able to meet the new circumstances that are coming your way. Your intuition will guide you on an issue, and you must not give up on your stand. Stand firm, and use your courage to face up to the difficulties that may be in your way.

--~*~--

Phew, done!

~ Harle

2003-12-31T18:54:00.000+08:00

Splurge

"HA~PPY!!!"

~ me at PowerBooks Live in Greenbelt 3, carrying a mountain of books in my arms towards the cashier

First, quizzie:

Morpheus

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

MORPHEUS!!! *remembers Neil Gaiman's Morpheus, and starts bouncing around*

--~*~--

I had roughly 4,000+ when all my Christmas money came in. Now I have only 124 bucks. Exactly. Where did all that cash go?

In the register of PowerBooks Live in Greenbelt 3.

I spent almost all my Christmas money there buying myself books to read over the next few days. A few are writing aids, while the others...well, let's just say I bought them because I wanted to expand my library ^_~.

Here follows a list of books that I have purchased.

1. Aliens and Alien Societies: A writer's guide to creating extraterrestrial life-forms by Stanley Schmidt, edited by Ben Bova ~ I bought this for two reasons: first, I'm taking up a course on sci-fi writing next term, and I figured that it would come in handy. Second, I bought it because the idea of character creation COULD come in handy when I wanted to develop races - even if my ideas are more about fantasy than about sci-fi. Then again, Anne McCaffrey made both sci-fi and fantasy meet with her Dragons of Pern series, so I figured, if she could do it, so could I.

2. The Writer's Idea Book by Jack Heffron ~ I bought this because I've got so many ideas in my head, but I don't know how to develop them. And for me as a writer, it's an especially sad thing to let ideas go to waste. Goddess only knows how many ideas have already rotted in my head and never been put down on paper...

3. Creating Charachters Kids Will Love by Elaine Marie Alphin ~ People have complained many times before that my chief weakness is character creation. I have a tendency to make them flat and not well-rounded - I am infamous for creating Mary-Sues. But with this book, I hope to be able to get my characters into shape - and hopefully find some way of making my ideas available as children's books since there's a bigger market for that than there are for adult fiction.

4. Fast Food Fiction: Short-short Stories to Go edited by Noelle Q. de Jesus ~ I've been wanting to purchase a copy of this since Mel introduced me to the joys of writing flash fiction and ever since I started writing my own. I intend to use the stories here are sort-of guidelines to making wonderful short-shorts.

5. The Eye of the World: Part One of the Wheel of Time Series by Robert Jordan ~ Have heard a lot about it, and now have the first book to it. If I like it, then I will slowly build up the rest of the series.

6. Sabriel and Lirael by Garth Nix ~ I've heard a lot about these two novels and have always wanted to read them, so I bought them. Between these two books and The Eye of the World, I will have enough fantasy novels to last me until the start of next term ^_^.

Ha~ppy...

~ Harle

2003-12-30T17:55:00.000+08:00

Nifty Little Things

*presses pause on the DVD remote control, and ogles the TV screen* "Ooooohhh..."

~ me upon seeing a small detail in Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings Extended DVD

I just noticed a few things in the extended version of Fellowship...

1. In the scene where Aragorn places back the shard of Narsil on the statue, if you pause the DVD and look REALLY closely at the background, you will actually see Aeglos, the spear of Gil-galad, propped up in a corner alongside a banner which could have been the very same one Elrond carried into battle as Gil-galad's herald.

2. Beside Aeglos, there is a painting. I think it depicts Gil-galad in the same way that the painting across from Narsil depicts Isildur. Judging from the shadowy shapes on the painting (I can't see all the details because the camera's too far away and the pillar gets in the way). It seems to be a picture of Gil-galad, with Orodruin flaming in the background, standing on a hill in Dagorlad, Aeglos in his hand, and his foot planted on the neck of an Orc - at least, it LOOKED like an Orc to me...

--~*~--

Mel has posted some of the chapters of her story Points of Five, a story I've been bugging her about for quite some time now.

Also, she's created the LJ community for the both of us called "Backstage Mayhem" - where we will post our snippets on my fic Windy Day. And I know she'll be bugging me about getting on with it and writing, but I need to see the Appendices of the Extended DVDs before I can get any proper work done. After all, there's a lot of things I have to edit in my original version of Windy Day before it can go up on the Internet...

~ Harle

2003-12-29T21:37:00.000+08:00

The Good, The Bad, and the Depressing

"Are you going to go swimming?"

*grumbles* "Can't. I have my period, remember?"

~ most frequent question (and matching answer) during the three-night-four-day stay at Boracay

THE DEPRESSING

1.) If anybody asks if I was able to go swimming while I was at Boracay, I have two words for you:

I DIDN'T.

I just HAD to get my period on the first day there, and so I couldn't go out and play in the water the next few days.

2.) There were not as many cute guys as I had hoped. There were a couple of celebrities (more on that later) but save for several Mark Ferguson lookalikes and a guy who looked EXACTLY like Mai's boyfriend, there was really no one of note. Most of them were either too fat (porkchop, anyone?) or too old - and this is coming from a girl who has a crush on a 43-year-old (give or take a year) Kiwi actor.

3.) Speaking of lookalikes, I kept on spotting Mark Ferguson lookalikes, but none of them were him. This is VERY depressing for a girl who will probably never get the chance to see her celebrity crush in the flesh, since he only goes to conventions held in New Zealand (his home country), Bonn (RingCon), and Toronto (The Gathering).

4.) Due to foul weather (which I will discuss later), I wasn't able to get as nice a tan as I had hoped. There goes my brand-name tan...

THE BAD

1.) Boracay weather is supposedly splendid during this time of year, more so than during the summer. I should know, since I have been to Boracay during both summer vacation (last year) and Christmas vacation (the last three times I was there, plus this year), and I do have to admit that Boracay during Christmas vacation is a helluva lot better than Boracay in the summertime.

However, it was just my luck that while we were staying there, a storm was passing through the Visayas area. While it didn't rain per se in Boracay (it was just drizzling), the winds were really strong, and really cold. Like I said, I wasn't able to go swimming because of my period, but I don't think I'd have wanted to get into the water anyway because of the coldness and strength of the wind. To make matters worse, the winds kicked up a lot of sand - something that's NOT very good for me because I've been trying to recuperate from tonsil-ache, and breathing in the sand only made things worse.

2.) I like walking barefoot on the sand - but only on the beachfront. While the backroad is lined with sand, in places the sand thins out or is filled with gravel. Really SHARP gravel. I was wearing Max's plastic slippers, but they didn't really fit me and were hell on my feet. So I ended up walking barefoot a lot just so I could avoid getting my soles bruises, but I had to pay my walking on a lot of sharp unidentified objects. I think I have a cut on the bottom of my right foot, but it isn't all that deep. It's far from my gut, so I'll live.

3.) I met a few of Max's friends on the first night we were there. Let me just say this: my sister is fluffy-headed, ergo, her friends are fluffy-headed as well.

4.) Max managed to lose one of the pages to my book Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. I am NEVER lending any of my novels to my sister EVER AGAIN.

5.) The food in the hotel we were staying at, the Le Soleil de Boracay, was HORRIBLE. The only places we could get good food was outside the hotel, and even then we had to walk long distances just to find it, like the famous crepes of Cafe Breizh (I think that's the spelling, don't remember anymore), or the pizza at Pizza di Baffo.

THE GOOD

1.) The SHOPPING. I found a lot of things - mostly jewelry - that I wouldn't be able to find here in Manila. Downside is that they were all rather expensive, but hey, better that I bought them there than having to come back here and not be able to find them. First was a lovely Celtic-style pentagram. It's rather big and will be very visible when I put it on - something I've been wanting since I saw Mel's witch-broom pentagram (the one that she hangs on the side of her card pouch).

Aside from that, I also found a pointed clear quartz pendant, which I plan to use both for my wand and for clothing. I also bought a rutilated quartz pendant, mostly as jewelry and quite possibly for wands. And because we bought so much, the owner of the shop where we made our puchases gave me a free shard of black tiger's eye. This one is DEFINITELY for use on a wand, for when I want to do binding or banishing magick.

I also managed to buy a new dragon pendant. This one is more Western-looking than the one that Mel gave me. Now I have an Eastern dragon and a Western dragon. All I need is a dragon pentagram and I will be set.

2.) The drinks. Mom let me try two drinks while we were there: the Singapore Sling (pineapple and orange juice with vodka) and the Mai-Tai (pineapple juice and rum or tequila - no one's really sure anymore). I didn't like the Singapore Sling very much because I was still able to taste the alcohol. The Mai-Tai, on the other hand...well, let's just say that I managed to down a glass of the Singapore Sling fast, but I slurped down the glass of Mai-Tai FASTER. Mostly because I couldn't taste the alcohol. I was half-tipsy after that, and couldn't stop giggling and talking as I followed my sister to the El Toro restaurant where she met up with her friends.

Amazingly, I didn't have a hangover the following day. Which is very, VERY good.

--~*~--

There was something there that I wanted, but couldn't buy because I thought that they were a little too frivolous already and I knew I wouldn't be able to take it home to begin with. One of the shops there was selling glass bottles in nice, pretty shapes. I was looking through the display, and I choked at one of the bottles.

It was shaped in the EXACT SAME STYLE AS THE PHIAL OF GALADRIEL FROM THE LOTR MOVIES!!! The stopper wasn't the same of course - if it had been the same I would have snapped up the bottle regardless of the price - but the shape was pretty much the same. And it came in three sizes: small, medium and large.

Speaking of LOTR, for the entire time that I was there, I managed to catch FOTR on HBO. And I ALWAYS finished it ^_^.

~ Harle

2003-12-25T15:00:00.000+08:00

Christmas, Sore Throats, and LOTR (so what else is new?)

"Please take Mr. Sparrow below, where he will contemplate all possible meanings of the phrase: Silent as the grave."

~ Commodore Norrington from Pirates of the Carribean

And yes, I AM contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase, "Silent as the grave," at the moment...

The best gift I could ever get for Christmas: have my voice taken away from me.

Damn my tonsils, they ache like hell.

And yes, I say all of that because they DO hurt like hell and I can barely talk.

--~*~--

Quizzies that I stole from various LJs and blogs (can't remember right now):

Compassion: You are there to share your sympathy
with others. People would consider you
affectionate and caring, and someone to look up
to.

Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla

*blinks* Am I really?

You are Form 3, Unicorn: The Innocent.

"And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to
go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice
given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went
inside and bled silver blood.. For her
misdeed, the world knew evil."

Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve
(Christian) and Pandora (Greek).
The Unicorn is associated with the concept of
innocence, the number 3, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the twilight sun.

As a member of Form 3, you are a curious
individual. You are drawn to new things and
become fascinated with ideas you've never come
in contact with before. Some people may say
you are too nosey, but it's only because you
like getting to the bottom of things and
solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to
have because they are inquisitive.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

A lot of people would agree, trust me...

--~*~--

Here is something I got off the TPTS ML, and was posted by Lorraine Kiamco. For all Viggo fans out there (*pokes Isis to get her attention).

Lord of everything
By Garry Maddox
December 22, 2003

This movie hunk is a shining overachiever who puts everyone else in the shade.

Viggo Mortensen is about to storm the cinema screen again in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. And, from past experience, female hearts will be beating just that bit faster at the thought of a bloodied Aragorn charging into battle on his steed.

Most actors would be pleased enough - no, absolutely thrilled - to be cast as a heart-throb in one of the biggest trilogies in cinema history. But apparently not Viggo.

Adoration is not enough. He has to spoil it for the rest of the male population by having an exhibition of his own landscape photographs to coincide with the world premiere in New Zealand. His photographs were called arty things such as Lost 1, 2, 3 and 4. These ones were taken while he was lost in the wilderness.

And Viggo appeared at a poetry reading for charity, possibly the only sold-out poetry reading in human history. He was well down the bill, but shrugged that off by saying there were some very good poets reading their work that night.

When composer Howard Shore conducted the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra in a Lord of the Rings concert with four choirs, Viggo joined in. Singing in Elvish.

Once, it was not that hard for an ordinary Australian male to appear cultured. If you knew STC didn't just stand for Sydney Turf Club. If you knew Peter Carey wasn't just an AFL umpire. If you knew Les Murray wasn't just a soccer commentator. That would do it.

But Viggo has raised the bar. There's a VM (Viggo Moment) guaranteed to take the rest of us down a peg. How can we hope to even get near competing with a man who, when invited to address the crowd in New Zealand, starts by speaking flawless Maori. While wearing a UNICEF shirt.

Any attempt to speak semi-knowledgeably about a film, book or play is bound to look feeble in comparison.

You want to show your tender side with your affection for a favourite pet? When Viggo finished shooting Lord of the Rings, he bought the two horses he'd been riding to take home. Trumped!

Want to appear relaxed and in control of a stressful situation? When Viggo met the world's media before the premiere, he padded around a five-star hotel in bare feet. Out-nonchalanting everyone.

Want to appear committed to your job? Well listen to VM #71. When Viggo was cast as a deaf mute on a film, he decided not to speak to anyone for the entire shoot. He scribbled notes to the crew and ordered food by pointing.

His dedication was such that he faxed his ex-wife (hah, a chink in the armour!) to say he'd call his eight-year-old son, but not speak. While young Henry chatted away, Viggo made breathing noises to indicate he was still there. Now that makes staying late at the office and working the odd weekend seem positively pathetic!

Want to seem well-rounded in female company by mentioning that you wrote a short story once or have a complete collection of Ramones albums?

Be wary: she may mention VM #157.

Viggo is releasing a CD (along with guitarist Buckethead and guest appearances from Viggo's actor friends), of music, spoken wordplay and aural collage. Called Pandemoniumfromamerica - yes, that's one creatively long word - it's reputedly "a sonic snapshot of 21st century disorientation and dissent". And he's dedicated it to Noam Chomsky, no less.

Want to enhance your working class credentials by mentioning that you do a little home renovating or can change a tyre? While living in Denmark, Viggo (VM #221) worked as a truck driver.

Not only is he passably good-looking - OK, quite good-looking, OK, he was named one of the 50 most beautiful people in the world by People magazine last year - Viggo mostly appears in movies with cool directors, such as Peter Weir (Witness), Jane Campion (The Portrait of a Lady), Sean Penn (The Indian Runner), Brian De Palma (Carlito's
Way) and Ridley Scott (G.I. Jane).

When cast as a painter in A Perfect Murder, he did his own murals for the film. He speaks Spanish and Danish, as well as English. He doesn't own a television, but he does have a publishing house.

If you're female, you're no doubt wondering where you can get Viggo's phone number, even if he's only breathing strangely down the line. And you're probably thinking that every male you know seems like Homer Simpson in comparison.

But what's Viggo really like? Would he honestly be the answer to any woman's prayers?

I say no. And I'm prepared to suggest he'd be the stuff of nightmares rather than dreams. The bare feet around the house, the time all those interests must take. And - this is a big call for someone who has never even met the guy - there's a certain neediness about all these Viggo Moments. And an earnestness. Lighten up, Viggo!

The rest of us might look like shop-worn merchandise as you gaze at Aragorn on screen, but, hey, we're flesh-and-blood. We're real.

Have to go. Time for my Maori lesson. We're studying Chomsky today.

Uh...the rants of an extremely frustrated person who cannot seem to match up to Viggo the Renaissance Man? I mean, let's face it: Viggo IS one of the few Renaissance Men of our era. He acts, he sings, he writes, he plays an instrument, he's a polyglot... I wouldn't be surprised to find out that he knows how to cook.

But this guy DOES have a point: all of these things might point to a certain need in Viggo to feel NEEDED and praised and supported, etc., etc., yadda-yadda-yadda. Maybe in real life, he'd be a nightmare.

Then again, maybe he wouldn't. It all depends on the girl, right?

And besides, I only borrow him for fics. Those are just imaginings, after all, and it seems somewhat improbable at the moment that the situations I have concocted in my fics for Viggo and Isis will come true, though I would think it very interesting - as well as somewhat scary - if the situations DID come true.

--~*~--

Leaving for Boracay tomorrow, and I am somewhat afraid of putting on that new bathing suit I bought - or rather, that my sister and my dad chose, made me try on, and THEN bought. Mom is currently running around right now like a headless chicken, nagging my sister and I when all we want right now is to relax, and I do have to admit, it's annoying the hell out of me.

I'm really considering taking my mother's caffeine and tobacco sources hostage...

I won't be able to post a single thing until I get back from the beach, so this place will be quite silent for a time. But I promise that when I get back, I will try to put up as much as I can about how I spent my four-nights-and-three-days in Boracay ^_^.

Wind, sun, sand, and gloriously clean water ^_^... I am headed for Paradiso, people...

--~*~--

Oh, and one more thing before I go:

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!!

~ Harle

2003-12-21T22:05:00.000+08:00

Of Spanish Food, LOTR Weaponry and Armor, and a Busted Water Line

"Come with me, I want to show you something."

*blinks at Dad* "Eh?" *follows anyway*

*Dad grins, and points to the shop window of a shop called Montage* "Look."

*looks, and eyes become as wide as plates, while jaw drops open* "Oh. My. GOD!!!" *starts jumping up and down upon seeing the sculptures and busts of various characters from the LOTR movies* "COOOOOOOOOLLL!!!!"

~ conversation between me and my dad when he showed me the shop window of Montage

From henceforth people, follow this simple equation:

Me + excellent Spanish food + Powerbooks (the Barnes & Nobles of the Philippines) + a shop selling the busts and full-body sculptures of characters from the LOTR movies + a book featuring the weaponry from all three LOTR movies = ONE SQUEALING, HYPERACTIVE LITTLE GIRL.

As a pre-Christmas thing, my aunt on my father's side decided to treat all of us out to some good Spanish food at Casa Armas, which reputedly makes some of the best lengua (ox tongue in gravy sauce, for the people who are unfamiliar with this dish) in the Metro. Aside from the lengua, we also ordered their specialty paella, callos and roast chicken (which I found a little bland). We also ordered a lot of appetizers like gambas al ajillo and calamares.

Since the food looked good (and smelled good besides), I just couldn't help myself and had to eat. A LOT. Between me and my cousin Mikko (who's a very hearty eater - it shows in his plumpness), the two of us managed to decimate half the roast chicken, one third of the paella, several slices of lengua and more than our fair share of the appetizers, particularly the calamares and tapa. Before people panic and think I ate rice with all of that, I didn't. I knew that I was going to be eating a lot. Besides, there was paella, which is a rice dish, so I didn't order rice for myself anymore.

After we had stuffed ourselves, Mom and I went over to Powerbooks. I took a peek at most of the books there, and was absolutely delighted to find several Sandman comics available, along with illustrated versions of Stardust and hardbound copies of The Dream Hunters. What tempted me the most out of these three was the illustrated version of Stardust. I read the unillustrated version, and while I found the story gorgeous, I always wondered what it would be like to read the illustrated one.

Aside from the three mentioned above, I was also sorely tempted to buy the following:

1. An Atlas of Middle-Earth ~ features several full-color maps of various areas in Middle-Earth. Because I am a fan of Tolkien and for fic-writing purposes.

2. The first book of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series ~ because I have ALWAYS wanted to read it.

3. Fastfood Fiction ~ because flash fiction is the ONLY original fiction that I write as of late.

I didn't get to buy any since Mom told me that we had to go soon, but then Dad came up and compensated for it by taking me to Montage and showing me the figurines there. Of course, I went bonkers, and started looking for a Gil-galad figurine. Turning nothing up, I started looking for a Nazgul figurine, but nothing there either. The closest I came to Gil-galad and the Witchking (both of whom are portrayed by Mark Ferguson in the movies) was the small bust of an Elf from the Last Alliance, and a bust of one of the Nazgul's horses.

At the least, I came out of that store with a book entitled The Lord of the Rings: Weaponry and Warfare by Chris Smith with a foreword by Christopher Lee. Dad bought the book for me as a prize for hauling in good grades at the end of this term. More on the contents of the book some other time ^_~.

Hehehe...my dad REALLY knows what his little girl likes...

--~*~--

Currently suffering because one of the major water pipes was busted up, thus depriving the entire Paranaque area of water.

Still, that isn't enough to dampen my spirits *grins while she leafs through her new book*.

--~*~--

While I was typing this, Mac texted me, and we were texting each other left and right. This is the most interesting part of the text convo:

After asking me where I lived...

MAC: Wala, gusto ko sana kita yayain sa G4 tomorrow eh, have lunch or something... *smiley face* [Nothing, I just wanted to invite you to go to G4 (Glorietta 4) tomorrow, have lunch or something...]

ME: Um...I'll see muna sa mom ko. Sino pa kasama kung ganon? [Um...I see first with my mom. Who else is coming, if that's the case?]

MAC: No, ok lang. Block lang naman eh. And it's more like a date thingy. Okay lang. Wala ka rin namang pasok tomorrow eh. *smiley face* [No, it's okay. It's just the block. And it's more like a date thingy. It's okay. You don't have classes tomorrow anyway.]

ME: You're asking me out on a date?

MAC: Er...ammm...yeah...

*utters high-pitched squeals of delight, then crosses her fingers in hopes that her mom will allow her to go*

~ Harle

2003-12-20T11:29:00.000+08:00

A Great Vacation for All

"What's your grade?"

*pauses, peeks at card, and then jumps into the air* YYYYYEEEEEEESSSSS!!! 3.5 BAY-BEH!!! OOOH-YEAH!!! I STAY IN THE PROGRAM!!!"

~ me talking to Mel yesterday during course card distribution

It's going to be a great vacation for me and Mel.

Doomsday, otherwise known as course card distribution for 2nd. Term 2003-2004, has come and gone, and we both managed to pull through. Mel was worried about her grade in Introduction to Economics, and I was worried about my grade in Introduction to Fiction. I needed to get at LEAST a 2.5 as an average of all my grades in my majors subjects to stay in the program. I wasn't so worried about my grades in Critics, Advanced Writing, and Spanish One, but I was DEFINITELY worried about my grade in Introductions to Fiction. I got only a flat 1.0 for my midterm in that subject, and I didn't think I'd be able to pull it up all the way to a 3.5. I would have been grateful to get a 2.0, hoping that the rest of my subjects would balance out the grade and help me scrape by with a 2.5 average, but I didn't have to worry about that in the end ^_^.

Mel, on the other hand, needed to pass her Introduction to Economics subject because if she didn't, her parents would force her to pull out of the hockey team - something she just cannot allow to happen. Fortunately, she got a 1.5 in that subject - slightly above 1, which is passing by the skin of one's teeth. That's enough to allow her to stay on in the team ^_^. So three cheers for you honey ^_^!

For those who don't understand the grading system, 4.0 is the highest, and 1.0 is the lowest passing grade in my school. 0.0 is, of course, failing. My grades so far include a 4.0, two 3.5's and one 3.0 for my majors subjects. I got another 4.0 for J.P. Rizal Studies, and a 1.5 for Philosophy of the Person. I have a good excuse for the 1.5: my prof sucked, preferred to let the students do all the reporting instead of actually teaching, and was gone almost half the time anyway.

At any rate, I am one happy cat ^_^.

--~*~--

I've got something new on the sidebar: what Mel calls her "Daily Two," but what I call...well, whatever. What I do is that I pull two cards from my Tarot deck, and take them as the "daily advice from the cosmos." It's pretty good, actually...

--~*~--

With everything in place for me, I am very, very happy. In return for my good grades, my mom has promised me a shopping spree in my favorite store: Tower Records/Powerbooks in Glorietta, or even better, Music One and the adjoining Powerbooks in Greenbelt 3.

Speaking of Greenbelt 3, we're going out to lunch there tomorrow. Someplace called Casa Alba. I heard about it from my professor in Spanish One, and he said that it serves some of the best Spanish cuisine in the Makati area - and that's saying something.

--~*~--

This is depressing. Almost everyone I know online (with the exception of Blake, whom I know from outside the Net) has already seen ROTK. The thing doesn't show here until January because of the stupid Metro Manila Filmfest.

This is annoying. VERY annoying.

What's even more annoying is the fact that Mel has the extended version of TTT and she can't bring it out of her house. I'd have loved to go over to HER house just so I can watch it, but I can't because my parents won't allow me.

Even if it is Christmas vacation already.

First no ROTK, then no extended TTT.

*grumbles*

Guess I'll just have to content myself with Hero for now...

--~*~--

I am in desperate need of a copy of Anito. I don't know where to get it though. According to Do'aho, it's sold out.

Now THAT is annoying.

~ Harle

2003-12-18T14:45:00.000+08:00

Shifting Theme Songs

I need love
The kind that makes you wanna live
The kind that makes you wanna breathe
The kind that makes you feel too much

~ quoted from the chorus of "I Need Love" by Laura Pausini

I've changed theme songs.

Again.

I can't help it, really. I think I've had enough time to recover - sort of - from what happened with me and Mac, so I guess that means a change of theme songs. My new theme song is "I Need Love" by Laura Pausini:

I'd cross the desert to be where you are
All the things I do to be close to you
A million miles wouldn't seem that far
I'd go anywhere just to win your heart
But wherever this leads
There's something I need

I need love
The kind that makes you wanna live
The kind that makes you wanna breath
The kind that makes you feel too much
And I need you
To help me find a better way
And I guess you never thought you'd hear me say
I need love
I need love

And when I see you I just lose my mind
You're the everything I thought I'd never find
Must be an angel watching over me
With a little luck we're gonna make you mine
Cos I wanna believe (I wanna believe)
In all we can be (all we can be)

I need love
The kind that makes you wanna live
The kind that makes you wanna breath
The kind that makes you feel too much
And I need you
To help me find a better way
And I guess you never thought to hear me say

And oh
I will catch you when you fall
Be the greatest love of all
I promise to be
If you give me what I need, I need

I need love
I need you

The kind that makes you feel
The one that makes you wanna live
The one that makes you wanna breath

And I need you
To help me find the better way
And I guess you never thought you'd hear me say
I need love I need love
I need love baby
I need love

I'd cross the desert
I'd cross the desert to be where you are

And I guess I do need that kind of love. Not that I've had any experience in that department, but it would be nice. Still, as of now there are no takers, so...*scuffs toe on the ground*.

I doubt if there ARE any takers at all...

~ Harle

2003-12-17T09:20:00.000+08:00

Hauling in Half the Grocery

"Where do you want me to put this?"

"In the fridge, if you can."

"There's too much in there. It won't fit."

"Fine. Stash it in the pantry somewhere. We'll just chill it on Christmas Eve. Just make sure you don't shake it up too much."

~ conversation between me and my mom over a bottle of champagne purchased for Christmas Eve

First, quizzies that I nabbed from the people on Anand's friends page on the LJ:

David Wenham should be the father of your baby.
Sexy David is an Aussie dream come true, as will be
your new arrival. Look forward to beautiful
days down under, and maybe even vacations with
the Crocodile Hunter family, the Irwins!

Whose BABY from the Lord of the Rings cast should you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

*chokes and splutters* Mel...you remember that dream I was telling you about before...? Well take a look at that thing up there...

And just for kicks...

Your match is Sam! The traditional hobbit. One who
will dote upon you and give you everthing you
could ever want. A home and many little hobbits
to take care of! This wonderfull man will care
for you untill the day you die, his devotion is
for you and you only.

What Hobbit are you destined to marry?
brought to you by Quizilla

Awww...*grins*... Still, I prefer my mate to be a little taller, if you know what I mean *looks at David with a look that's a cross between horror and interest*

--~*~--

With Christmas only a few days away, my mom and I have been busy putting together the food and drinks that will be served on Christmas Eve. Here in the Philippines, people stay up very late on December 24 and on to four or five the following day, the 25th. Most of these people will have attended the last Mass of the Misas de Gallo, which are masses held VERY early in the morning starting on December 16. After the mass, they head home and have the Noche Buena, the Christmas feast.

In my family, since we're not all Catholics (my sister and dad are Catholic, my mom and grandmother are Born-Again Christians, and I'm Wiccan - though the rest of the family doesn't know that), we opt not to go to the mass and just stay at home. At around ten or eleven in the evening, we drive over to my other grandmother's (the mother of my mom) condo unit and stay there with the other members of the mother's side of my family. New Year's, on the other hand, is reserved for the father's side of my family.

But in preparation for the Noche Buena in my grandma's condo, we have to do our own fair share of cooking and preparing. Which is why yesterday, my mom came back with a whole mountain of groceries, including three bottles of champagne: one was for Christmas Eve, and the other was for New Year's Eve. Aside from that, she also bought large quantities of the following:

1. whipping cream and powdered sugar ~ for making the topping I use for my chocolate mousse - my personal contribution to the Noche Buena

2. baking ingredients and chocolate chips ~ for making the chocolate chip cookies that I will make - more for myself than for anyone else

3. lots of different kinds of cheese and plenty of butter ~ both for cooking and for serving at the table as appetizers

4. olive oil, tomato sauce, and herbs ~ for the extremely delicious spaghetti sauce my mom makes every Christmas

5. five spring chickens ~ two will be marinated in a special sauce on the 22nd, and left to marinate until Christmas Eve, when they will be baked in the oven with plenty of garlic, a dash of soy sauce and a drizzling of olive oil. The other three will be stuffed with garlic, onions, some ginger and a few sprigs of rosemary, drizzled with olive oil and then turbo-roasted. The drippings will be collected and served as is at the table as a sauce.

6. a couple kilos of beef ~ for my mom's Asian-style beef stew - the one that takes eight hours to cook right.

7. several large bangus [milkfish] bellies ~ these will be marinated in a mixture of soy sauce, vinegar, and garlic, and then stewed in the same marinade.

8. bottles of crab aligue [roe/fat] ~ heated in a pan with garlic, it makes a great pasta sauce, or even eaten with rice

There are other things too that we didn't get yet because we could only buy them two days prior to the 24th, like:

1. crabs ranging from medium size to tiny crablets ~ the bigger crabs will be stewed in a lovely sauce my grandmother makes out of coconut milk and other good things, while the crablets will be breaded, deep-fried, and served with vinegar dip at the table.

2. tahong [mussels] ~ these are boiled for a while to open them, and then are topped with plenty of butter, cheese and garlic, and then are baked on the half shell.

And there was also something that we could only buy on the 24th itself:

1. slabs of tuna steak ~ we cut these up and serve them as sashimi and sushi

*eyes list of food* Just looking at all of that makes me hungry already...

~ Harle

2003-12-16T10:31:00.000+08:00

I Just LOVE Eros Pinoy

The tongue: fluent traveller
tourist of the seven leagues and seven seas.
Brief stopover in Sngapore, then off to Bombay.
Where to from there, stockinged conquistador?
The manroot points north, now east, now west.
Asleep, it points south
leaving a silver train of sweet plunder
up the steep streets of Machu Picchu
down the hanging gardens of Jerusalem.
Sandpaper buds bristle with fresh anticipation.
What imminent feast now rides the leeward wind?
Season of the durian, night of the spices.
Parting the seaweeds in the English Channel
your hog nose sniffs out the perfumed ruby
nestled in a mat of caviar, crown jewel of Egypt
red as pomegranate, plump as the pearl of Celebes
shining between the pink lips of the scallop shell.
Thus, hanging by the thumbs and hair
angled knees floating in Arabian air
one foot in Manila, the other in Kashmir
the carnival world turns and turns
in love's merry-go-round
straddled upon the rocking axis
of the Rock of Gibraltar.

~ "Around the World" by Jaime An Lim, from the collection Eros Pinoy

First, quizzes. This one I filched from Mai's LJ:

Guys Like That You're Charming

You're the girl most guys can't get out of their heads

Even if they met you on a bad hair day :-)

You just seem to "click" with everyone you meet

So even if a guy forgets about you for a second... his friends haven't!

What Do Guys Like About You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

*giggles* Oh, I wish, I wish...

This one I nicked off Anand's LJ:

Your confusion. complete and utter bewilderment.
what is going on?why?who?How? a few queswtions
that plague your life maybe. DOn't worry to
much. just try to stay calm and dont THINK to
much about everything!!

Which pure emotion are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*shrugs* The World was born from Chaos, and even within Chaos there is Order.

--~*~--

I am currently leafing through my photocopied copy (redundant Harle, VERY redundant) of Eros Pinoy, a collection of erotic poetry and art by the best the Philippines has to offer in those departments. My parents (well, my mom and grandmother, at least) are still quite conservative with regards to what I read, and when I brought home the book (I borrowed the original from a friend and then had the entire thing photocopied, breaking copyright laws along the way) my mom was on my throat in a flash. But I had one of the most wonderful and handiest excuses that comes with being a Lit Major:

"It's required reading, Mom. I have to write a report on it."

*cackles with glee* And Mom couldn't do a thing about it. Dad had no comment (he's the liberal one around here when it comes to reading material, doesn't really complain about what books I read), and Lola [grandma] couldn't so much as squeak. Ah, "required reading" is such a magical phrase...

The book just goes to show that Filipino artists are not dry and frigid at all. Nope, they're simply repressed. In a country where the censors are still controlled by the Catholic Church (let's face it, people: the Philippines is still very much a theocracy and not the democracy we'd like to think it is), it's surprising that the book got through unscathed. Still, it was a very, very happy thing for repressed people like me, who need SOME form of outlet for when hormones run rampant - in an artistic and tasteful way, of course.

And what can get more artistic than poetry? The nice thing about erotic poetry is that you have to bend your mind a little, stretch it, so that you can grasp the meaning of the poem. And when you do that, you encompass not just the sex, but the other little details that go beyond it.

And sometimes, you have to look REAL hard to see why a poem is even erotic at all. Take "Dinner at the Hei Chin Rou" by Alice M. Sun-Cua, for example:

Tonight
in this dragon red restaurant
our eyes meet
over braised pork loins
with shallots.

Oblivious to the
steam around us,
we cup bowls
of white rice
and quietly dip
wooden chopsticks
into succulent flesh
dripping with soy
and sesame oil.

As we work our way
into soft sinews
and tendons,
burying our teeth
into herbed crevices
how we wish
we could contain
long absences
in porcelain dishes
like these.

I raise a trembling cup
of fragrant oolong
to my lips,
knowing very well
that nights like these,
liquid and silken,
do not end.

If I had read this outside of the collection, I really wouldn't see anything erotic about it, and it would have taken me quite a while to figure out that it was, indeed, erotica.

As you can probably tell, the two poems I mentioned above are among my favorites.

Another favorite is "Witch's Dance" by Marra Pl. Lanot:

Nothing has happened yet
But already you've watched
The river in my eyes,
Already your hands know
The wind in my hair,
Every slope and valley
On my nape, down my back,
Around my breasts
The orb encircling my waist and hips
As well as the smooth, pink
Sand of my thighs
Where sea waves froth.

Already you know the ocean's
Scent in my ears
And margarita in my tongue.
We are like children playing with fire
With all the passion of curiosity,
Two innocents in a witch's dance
That never end

*sighs* I wish I could write as well as these people can... But I'm not really a poet, more of a prose and essay writer... Still, that has never stopped me from admiring the poet's craft ^_~.

~ Harle

2003-12-14T18:06:00.000+08:00

Christmas Bazaars are Bad for my Health...

"Ack! Ugh! Urk! Wheeze!"

~ most frequent sounds squeezed out from me while walking through the Christmas bazaar at the World Trade Center

This. Is. The last. Time. I am. Going. To. A. Bazaar. During. Christmas. Season.

And I have just one thing to say about the whole thing:

NEVER AGAIN!

I've just gotten back from the Christmas bazaar at the World Trade Center, and I swear that I am NEVER going to set foot in a bazaar like that for the rest of my life unless it's a book bazaar or a bazaar for all things Pagan. Then again, if there were bazaars like that, I don't think there'd be as many people as there were at the bazaar today.

With Christmas just a few weeks away (two, if I'm not mistaken...), everyone's rushing to go and make last-minute purchases of Christmas presents. Me, I'm more or less finished with my purchases - I only have to get the boys their Christmas gifts, but I intend to get them from Boracay while I'm there during the last few days of December. The only purchases I made at the bazaar were blouses: two racerback blouses - one white with a stylized lotus design on the front, and a black one with a gray dragon - and one black three-fourths blouse with a silver design on the front. There were, however, several things that I would have just LOVED to buy, but couldn't, like:

A dagger with a wood-and-silver sheath and a cobra hilt ~ There was actually a booth at the bazaar that sold stuff like swords and daggers. I was taking a look at the daggers, hoping to get one as an athame. And I nearly bought one too - there was one that had a cobra around the hilt - but I balked at the price: 5,000 smackers just for the dagger.

An actual short sword with a scimitar-style blade and a dragon hilt/handle ~ This one I found in the same booth where I spotted the dagger. It was mounted on a frame and hung on the wall. It had a scimitar-style blade - meaning that it was rather wide and curved - and the hilt was a Chinese dragon. Very beautiful, and, I believed, also quite heavy. Just looking at it made me wonder whether I could carry it or not. There was also an actual longsword there, with a brass hilt, but it didn't have the same appeal to me as the dragon-sword did. I didn't ask the price of the swords anymore - if the dagger was already 5,000, then the swords were probably twice or thrice that price.

Bracelets made of semi-precious stones ~ I've been trying to find an amber-and-jet bracelet, as well as a pendant of clear quartz. I did find the clear quartz, but I didn't buy because it was too expensive. And while I didn't find the amber-and-jet bracelet that I wanted, there were others that were also very beautiful. But, like the pendant, they were too damn expensive.

An actual quartz crystal sphere ~ While I'm not really into scrying, I would really want to try it, and wandered around taking a look at the crystal spheres that were on sale. I managed to find a lovely one that, while rather small, was very, very clear and felt comfortable in my hand. It was going for 250 from an original price of 480, and came with the stand, but I didn't want to risk buying it and have my dad (who was the one accompanying us at the time) asking me why did I buy a crystal ball.

I kept a sharp eye out for pentagrams and dragon rings, and armbands, but came up with nothing. There was, however, this stall that was selling lovely Egyptian stuff, and I checked it out in the hopes of finding small statues of Isis and Osiris to put on my desk/altar, but found none. They were, however, selling lovely glass phials used for the smoking of...hashish, I think. Not sure what was smoked, exactly, but my sister did tell me that they were used for smoking some sort of illegal drug. I would have bought the phials if only for holding liquids during rituals, but then my dad would know what I was buying and he'd wonder if I was doing drugs or something.

In short: there were things I wanted to buy but couldn't, and the things I did buy weren't all that high on my list of wants. Well, except maybe for the dragon blouse, but I have enough dragon blouses already and I dont' really need another one.

To my dear sisters: unless one of you is with me, I am NEVER setting foot in a bazaar ever again!

~ Harle

2003-12-13T10:47:00.000+08:00

Apologies and Plans for the Holidays

"Sis, I'm sorry, but the part about us expecting a breakdown from you isn't quite...nice, coming from you. I'm sorry if I'm a bit sensitive these days, but I kinda don't like being thought of as someone who underestimates people's capabilities.

Sorry, sis. I'm just not n the best of moods lately."

~ quoted from Mai's comment on my entry concerning the status with Mac

Sorry for that undue comment, sis. I kind of thought you people were expecting me to break down, knowing just how attached I am to the man... On the other hand, thank you (and you too) for showing confidence in my ability to handle myself and the situation. Goddess only knows how little approval I get in THAT department...

--~*~--

Anyway, this term has (unofficially) come to an end, even if I still have an oral exam in my Spanish One class next Tuesday, and even if I have to pick up my grades next Friday. Since it IS the Christmas vacation and I have a lot of time to myself before school starts again next year, I have made a list of things to do this Christmas vacation:

Go to a spa and get a nice massage ~ Yep, midway through the term, as stress started to build up, I realized that when it was all over, nothing would be nicer than to have all that stress worked out of me while I lay down on a spa table and relaxed. I was going to ask my mom to see if she could arrange it for me (even if I had to pay for it myself from the savings I'd managed to accumulate from my allowance), and out of the blue she simply offered the deal to me. And she said she'd arrange for an appointment at the Suriya Spa, which is one of the best spas in the Makati area. I intend to have it done next Wednesday, so if anyone wants to speak to me on that day, check with me again because I might be in the spa when you call or text ^_~.

Finish my current game on Neverwinter Nights ~ Currently, I am in the closing part of the second chapter, in the Arcane Tower, actually, and working my way up to the topmost level. I've been having a very good game, incidentally, and I can't wait to finally bring the whole thing to a close. And then I can contact Do'aho and ask if I can borrow his CD of the expansion for this game and see just how far I can REALLY go.

Finish my games in several Playstation RPGs ~ I intend to wrap up my games in Legend of Legaia, Tales of Destiny 2, Grandia, and Suikoden 2. I am at various points in each game, though I think I am further along in Suikoden 2 than in the others.

Start new games in several Playstation RPGs ~ I want to start decent games in FF Tactics, Lunar 2, and (if I can get my hands on my cousin's CD) Final Fantasy IV. I know, I might have complained about FF Tactics being so hard, but it's only because I'm unused to the gameplay. Strategy games were never really my cup of tea, as many of my cousins know, though they have noticed my uncanny knack for PC RPGs like Neverwinter Nights and Anito (the latter I played at a cousin's house after a trial run at school). They're annoyed that I can easily pick up on how to maneuver my way through these games, especially in games like Anito.

Get myself a copy of Anito ~ I managed to go through the test run of this thing while they were doing the demo at school, and I did like it quite a bit. The learning curve was a touch steep, especially with regards to the controls and attacking. After all, I was bred on Neverwinter Nights, wherein you just click to hack at something. Still, the novelty of a Filipino-based PC RPG holds a lot of appeal for me, and the graphics weren't all that bad, either.

Continue work on several fics ~ I know, I've been forced to neglect my fanfics, mostly for school reasons, but now that vacation's started I can get back to work ^_^. My current pet projects at the moment are War of Daenova and The Forgotten Lands of Arda. The latter is just being written down on paper, and I have no intentions of posting it yet. It's supposed to be a fic dedicated to April, one of my dearest friends from high school. War of Daenova, on the other hand, is making slow, painful progress, mostly because I'm stuck in Moria and don't really know how to proceed from there, especially considering what I have planned...

Get a henna tattoo at Boracay ~ As most of the Pan the on knows, I am going to Boracay on December 26 - a few days after Christmas itself, and will be staying there until the 28th. In that span of time I will hopefully - HOPEFULLY - get a nice tan and a dragon tattoo on my back. I already have the design that I want, and will be printing it out to take with me to Boracay. I also plan to get the boys' belated Christmas pressies from there, too.

*looks at plans* Wow, that's a lot. I hope I'll be able to accomplish most of them, at any rate...

It's going to be a busy, busy vacation for me ^_~.

~ Harle

2003-12-12T09:51:00.000+08:00

And That's That

"I'm sorry, but it's really complicated."

~ what Mac told me when I asked him what was going to happen to the two of us

That's it. It's officially over. My hopes for Mac have finally been killed, because really, nothing's going to happen.

He said so himself.

I asked him yesterday what he planned to do about this...thing...that we had going on between the two of us, and he said that he just wasn't prepared for it. He mentioned something about fear, and something else, but that line up there was the one that really got to me.

And now I know: nothing is going to happen.

Some people expect a break down from me, but I won't. I cried enough tears during my birthday; there's nothing left for me to shed.

Still doesn't stop it from hurting, though.

But I can't force Mac to do anything against his will. If he thinks that we're better off like this, if he thinks that things are better off in limbo - no matter how uncomfortable it might be - then I guess I will have to abide by his decision. I did all I could. That will have to be enough.

Sometimes, though, I can't help but wonder whether what we will have from henceforth WILL be enough. There will always be that niggling feeling - both on his part and on mine - that things could have been much better if we just let ourselves go. We'll both wonder if things could have been better in the long run if we just said the words and be done with it. After all, that's all I'm waiting for: the WORDS that will say everything is in its proper place, that god's in his heaven, and all's right in the world.

But I guess that will never come to pass...

~ Harle

2003-12-08T11:13:00.000+08:00

Dragon Flight

"We all have our own lessons to learn. Sometimes we're afraid, and we avoid them. But that should not always be the case. If you take small steps at a time, going further and further into the fire at every venture, then you will one day dance amongst the flames as if dancing upon the cold swirls of clouds and mists."

~ quoted from Lord Abelard, one of my guardian dragons, during my initiation

I FINALLY HAVE THE CELTIC TAROT DRAGON DECK!!!!

And it certainly pleases the heck out of me, since I can now do Tarot readings again, as well as draw more completely on the powers of the dragons who have become a part of my life.

--~*~--

A realization: lots of dragons have distinct personalities, and they don't always coincide with their color. I've given descriptions of them before, so I will only mention their names.

Khayeseadae (Khaye, as I sometimes call her) has a somewhat serious mien that one does not expect in dragons her age. If anyone wants to know how old she is, I'm sorry but I can't tell you, since I haven't bothered to ask. I don't think I'm THAT close to them yet that I have the right to ask.

Sek, on the other hand, has just reached his maturity but he still acts like a dragonet, as Khayeseadae derisively snorts. He's a fun-loving guy, with the tendency to play practical jokes. He says I'm lucky I can escape his pranks because he's too big to be let into the house, and has to stay outside in the open lot behind the house.

This is from the convo I heard them having this morning, when Mel asked if Khaye would like to be included in her story Hover By. Mel needed to know personality traits, so I asked the two dragons to describe themselves. This is what I got:

Khaye: Don't listen to Sekharion [Sek's full name], he's just a huge bag of hot air, and he doesn't even know how to breathe fire yet! He's an irresponsible oaf, that's what he is.

Sek: Listen to yourself talk, Khayeseadae! I can't breathe fire yet, but when I learn, you're the first I'll torch! You're just an uptight pipsqueak!

And...who said that dragons are dignified and proper? Of my three guardians, that description only applies to Lord Abelard.

~ Harle

2003-12-06T19:29:00.000+08:00

Quizzes, Discovering THE Deck, and Ranting about Incompetent Teachers

"You look good."

~ most frequent comment when I dropped by my old high school today

First, quizzes:

you are lightcyan
#E0FFFF

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.

Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working.

Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Quite true, quite true...

*snerks*

Right...

I'm getting there. I don't suck, but I've got a ways to go.

Mmm hmm...

--~*~--

I found the Celtic Dragon Tarot deck that I've been wanting for Christmas. It was on the bottom shelf of the Powerbooks branch at Tower Records in Glorietta. I wanted to buy it right there and then, but since it cost a whopping Php 1929 (almost 1930), I certainly had to ask permission before I used my card for the purchace. I really, REALLY want it, but of course since I had to inform my mom that I wanted to buy it, she was a bit wary. But since I had enough money stashed away (most of which I got because I was starving myself at school...), she agreed to let me buy it. I currently have it under reserve, and should be able to get it by Dec. 9.

I really, really, REALLY want that deck...

*goes all Gollum for a moment*

Mmmmmmmmy preeeeeeccccccciousssssssss....

--~*~--

I dropped by Sacred Heart again this afternoon with Mikko. It was Family Day today so I was allowed entrance to the grounds.

*sighs*

Things have changed a lot since I was last there, both for the better and for the worst. There are more buildings now, and the field has suddenly lost around half it's original area because of the expanded canteen. Which I think is a little unfair that I never had a shot at these new facilities *kicks a pebble despondently*...

But what I recall the most are the "horror stories" that my sister tells me about this teacher there - the new adviser of third year section St. Angelo, a woman who goes by the name Ms. Cayosa (someone correct my spelling if I'm wrong). According to my sister, this hag (can't call her a bitch, since that's a compliment where I'm concerned, and can't call her witch, since that's a religious denomination) threatened a student with expulsion because of reading a book entitled Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas [Judas' Favorite Book] by Bob Ong. Now most people would assume that this a Satanist manifesto, but the thing is, it isn't. Bob Ong has gained fame for his books that compile his hilarious essays on the Filipino psyche, habits and customs, one of which is Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas.

It's a very funny book, and very insightful. I have read it, my sister has read it, hell, even my PARENTS have read it, and we ALL know that there's nothing in it about Satanism (or even Wicca or witchcraft, for that matter...). But the hag had the temerity to confiscate the book, and asked the following questions:

1. Why is the cover of the book black?

2. Why is the title of the book not in the center of the cover?

If I was the one who had to answer these questions, I would say this: "It's known as a marketing ploy, ma'am. Marketing ploys help people sell things. Why, have you never heard of a marketing ploy before? Do I have to define it for you? Or can't you tell the difference?"

All of these questions HAVE NO RELEVANCE TO THE ISSUE AT HAND! And what made this whole thing worse is that the poor girl was threatened with EXPULSION of all things, simply because she was thought of possessing a SUPPOSEDLY Satanic document - which, in truth, it wasn't. The hag merely ASSUMED it was Satanic because of the title.

Beat that.

If this had happened to my sister - (un)fortunately, it didn't - I would have marched into school and demanded to see the teacher. Not only that, I would have demanded for her immediate resignation. First of all, threatening someone with expulsion for READING something is utterly idiotic. It's already bad enough that the literacy rate of the Philippines is quite low. We don't need people compounding the problem by expelling students who actually READ.

Second, the hag hadn't even READ the book yet. Who was she to make assumptions about the contents of the book when she hadn't even READ the thing yet? That, I believe, is a very good display of idiocy.

And third, a teacher has no right to threaten a student with expulsion, which is something only the principal and/or directress of the school can do. Threatening a student like that amounts to academic terrorism, if I may use the term, and people who do that have no right to teach.

Teachers like that are better off kicked out. My sister shouldn't be forced to study under such people. My sister deserves an infinitely better education than the one she receives at the hands of that dunce.

How the hell did she become a teacher in the first place?

~ Harle

2003-12-05T18:54:00.000+08:00

New Links and the Accesibility of Authors (Especially Famous Ones)

"Right now, I have an IQ of about four."

~ clipped from Neil Gaiman's Journal, entry dated Dec. 4, 2003

And I certainly agree with Mr. Gaiman on that. There are times when I feel my IQ has gone down to four...especially lately, what with the pre-finals crunch and all...

I have added new links to my sidebar:

Loryces, who lives in the States yet is a Pinoy. She wandered to my site from the TPTS (aka The Philippine Tolkien Society) website (am I right?)

Aelaisha, whose site I should have added a LONG time ago, but was too busy to add. So sorry Lai *bows repeatedly in apology*

Les-chan, whom I've known since I was in high school and whose site, like Lai's, should have been added to my sidebar a LONG time ago, but I've been too busy to add. Like to Lai, so sorry *bows repeatedly in apology*.

And for the grand finale: Neil Gaiman's Journal. I discovered it through Lorcyes' sidebar, though Mai was talking about it before. I never had the chance to visit it except now, and I have added it to my list of places to visit when I have the chance.

--~*~--

Seeing Neil Gaiman's online journal led to an interesting train of thought: the idea of authors rubbing virtual elbows with their readers. In my opinion, this is a very good thing for authors to do. It brings them closer to the readers, lets them understand "the pulse," so to speak, of those who buy and read their works. It allows authors to see who reads their works, and gives them a chance to get to know and understand why these readers love (or hate, depending on the case) their work so much.

This availability of the author is good for readers too. It gives them a chance to understand how the author's mind works, how they tick. It makes them feel...privileged, I guess, that they have access to these people. This is especially true with people as famous as Neil Gaiman (whose works, by the way, have become the basis of many undergraduate theses in universities all over the Philippines) and J.K. Rowling (I don't know if anyone has tried to study her books as part of a thesis). However, Gaiman is more hip than Rowling, since he actually DOES allow people a glimpse into his life via his online journal. Rowling fans, on the other hand, can only speculate.

--~*~--

Speaking of Gaiman, I have to say this about American Gods, which I am re-reading as a respite from The God of Small Things: B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T!!!! Researching for this book, especially the mythologies, must have been a chore, but he incorporates everything so seamlessly and wondrously that all I can do is sit back and let the tide overwhelm me.

An interesting thing I noticed: there was mention of women who turned into white foxes somewhere towards the end of the novel. An echo of The Dream Hunters, perhaps?

And I wonder...how about an illustrated version of American Gods, or even Stardust? I can already imagine the illustrations for the latter...

~ Harle

2003-12-05T10:40:00.000+08:00

The Pre-Finals Crunch, Book Opinions and Yielding

*stares mournfully at Arundhati Roy's "The God of Small Things" and Eric Gamalinda's "My Sad Republic"* "See what I have to suffer through? Everybody thinks that Lit majors have it easy, but whoever said that is probably hunched behind a computer or a desk counting money. And to think, Lit majors tend to be UNDERPAID for all the hard work they do...

~ me just a few moments ago

As of this moment I am sitting in one of La Salle's computer labs, trying to type even if it hurts because of the cold air, which is already cold outside but is made even colder once it passes through the airconditioning system. During summer I would have been mighty thankful for the cold, but right now I sure as hell am NOT grateful for it.

*places right hand momentarily under her thigh to thaw it, and then goes on with her typing*

It is officially the pre-finals crunch week, and I have made absolutely NO headway at all with regards to my papers. I delayed reading Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things again because the first time I read it I ended up being thoroughly depressed, and I didn't want a repeat of that.

Then again, the last time I read The God of Small Things, I was only fifteen. When you're in high school, you tend to want to maintain that worldview wherein everything is perfect, fine and dandy. The God of Small Things is the type of book that trashes that completely, and when it happens, well... You want to stow the book away in the farthest corner of your bookshelf in the hopes that you never dig it up again.

But only recently, I was forced to do so for a paper in my Introduction to Fiction subject. I delayed reading it for two reasons:

1. I was more worried about doing well in my Advanced Writing paper, which is about Eric Gamalinda's novel My Sad Republic

2. I really didn't want to start reading God of Small Things UNLESS I had an adequate supply of chocolate. Yes, J.K. Rowling had it right in PoA: chocolate DOES cure depression. I won't go into the scientific nitty-gritty of it, but even science has proven that already.

God of Small Things is, admittedly, a book with beautiful language. You can read it out loud and it'll sound just as nice. But then again, when you DO read it, prepare for a downward slope with regards to emotions. You read it and it takes you lower and lower and lower. The ending is happy (though HOW that came about I won't say, since that'll be a spoiler), but it's not HAPPY enough to pull you from the slump you fell into while reading the book.

On the other hand, if you're a woman with feminist leanings and read the book, you will feel a great sense of indignation at how women are treated there. And the worse thing about it is this: IT'S REALLY HAPPENING IN INDIA. The caste system is still implemented, believe it or not, and there is nothing that can REALLY be done about it because it is ingrained into the culture of India since time immemorial. I know that I cannot condemn these people for having that sort of thinking and for implementing it because it's a part of culture (and who can do ANYTHING about culture these days?), it still irks me that women can be treated in such a manner, even today when there is supposedly equality for all.

The novel also deals with how people lose their identity because of colonization. And this isn't really all that surprising. It's happened not only in India but also in the Philippines. Filipinos no longer have a sense of identity and history because of the 333 years of Spanish Occupation, followed by several more years of American Occupation. I will not count the two or so years of Japanese Occupation during WW2 because they didn't stay long enough to REALLY leave their mark on the culture of the people.

Where does that leave the Filipino people? Stuck with a mindset and way of thinking that isn't really their own, one that does not and quite possibly cannot work for their nation, and with such a short memory for history that they can never learn from their own mistakes.

Which is why we currently have FPJ as a presidential candidate.

After electing Erap, you'd think the people would have learned, but NOOO.

*sighs* If Prof. Hila could see this, he'd probably think I sound very mcuh like an elitista.

...Maybe I do, because I do belong to the class, after all...

--~*~--

Eric Gamalinda's My Sad Republic is an entirely different cup of tea from God of Small Things. First of all, it's not as depressing since it's got its own moments of humor. Then again, what I define as humor might not be so funny for other people.

I've been told that Filipinos have a very sick sense of humor, since we can laugh at anything (even something as "serious" as a high-school dropout/actor run for president, which we have done already with Erap), and because we can turn anything into an innuendo. Some people might read My Sad Republic and not find it at all funny, but if we think about it humor is culture-bound, as are opinions on beauty and quality.

The thing about My Sad Republic - indeed, of many Filipino novels - is that they have that quality of being like Jose Rizal's "double-whammy," as Vicente Groyon put it, entitled Noli Me Tangere (English title is Social Cancer) and El Filibusterismo (English title is The Filibuster). Because of this, a lot of Philippine novels end up with the "Noli/Fili flavor". Even My Sad Republic is not spared this. The couple of Isio and Asuncion echoes Ibarra and Maria Clara from the Noli, while the reasons behind Isio's revolt against Spanish and eventually American rule are just like those of Ibarra/Simoun in the Noli and the Fili.

Still, I really like the novel. Written in the magic-realist vein (think Gabriel Garcia Marquez), I found it a lot easier to digest that Marquez' One Hundred Years of Solitude, maybe because Gamalinda used elements and references that are familiar to me, since they are a part of my culture and upbringing. The familiarity with the elements used in the novel made it a very easy read - at least in my opinion.

However, there's a difference between "easy" and "hard" read and "light" and "heavy". When I mean that something was easy (or hard) to read, I refer to how quickly I can page through it, meaning how easily I was able to get used to the language used in the book. The quicker I can finish reading a book, the easier it was for me to read.

When I say that a novel was a light or heavy read, I refer to the ideas that were presented in the book, and how much they preoccupied me long after I'd closed the book.

In that aspect, My Sad Republic is easy to read, but the ideas presented make it a very heavy book (and I don't just mean because of its length). The whole idea of what makes a revolution a successful one, combined with the issues that can easily be tied in with feminism and politics... The moment I closed the book I SWEAR my head was spinning from so many ideas. And then I read the newspapers that day and, well... Let's just say that I was able to see so many parallels between the book and what's going on in the political world at the moment in this country.

Pick the book up, when you have the chance. I swear it's fabulous.

--~*~--

My fears regarding Mac - the ones I had during my birthday nigh six months ago - have been confirmed.

It's never going to become officially "us."

The boy's just too contented with what we have. He doesn't want to ruin it.

Truth be told, I guess I can't really blame him. If he likes things the way they are, then I guess I have no right to change it. After all, I can't force my will on him - that's wrong.

But I promise I won't sink in to the pit I did after my birthday. Been there, done that, and I refuse to do it again. I am happy where I am - for now. Still, that doesn't stop me from looking around now, does it?

*starts scoping out other options in and around La Salle*

~ Harle

2003-11-29T18:35:00.000+08:00

"Mind the Threefold Law You Should: Three Times Bad and Three Times Good"

"Perfect by nature
Icons of self-indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that

Never was and never will be
Have you no shame don't you see me
And somehow you got everybody fooled..."

~ first few lines of Evanescence's Everybody's Fool

It seems that I've become the topic of discussion - in a nasty way. Once more, the story in question here is Legend of the Three. I don't understand why there is such commotion over this.

Well, at least no one has tried to bash it because it was based on Wicca...

--~*~--

Once more, I will reiterate what I've been saying before: what right have people to judge according to what they think is right and what is wrong? What right do people have to impose THEIR views on what they think is "good fanfic" and what is "bad fanfic"? Granted, good grammar and spelling are important - that will never change, perhaps - but the very aesthetics of characterization and other such things...no one has the right to dictate what will be considered "good-fic" and "bad-fic." Each type has its own aesthetics by which it is to be judged. One cannot judge a story and then bash it because one did not think it was "beautiful."

Beauty is relative - even in fanfiction. ESPECIALLY in fanfiction.

~ Harle

2003-11-29T20:46:00.000+08:00

I Have Hit the Jackpot!

*types "Mercy Peak fanfiction" into Google, and is absolutely delighted to get a result* Alright! *rubs hands together eagerly* At least I know where to go when I want to post up "Of Fame and Misfortune" and "Coming Home"...

~ me just a few moments ago

Mel, I have hit the jackpot where Mercy Peak fanstuff is concerned.

*cackles delightedly as she leafs through the pages available* Oooh, pretty wallpaper! *downloads a wallpaper of Sara Wiseman as Nicky Somerville* Pretty, pretty...

*clicks around, and finds a message board* Oooooh...message board... *clicks on the "register" button at the top of the page* Me join...

*waits a few moments for her password to be delivered* Dum de de dum de dum...

*squees when she gets the password* I'm in, I'm in!

*adds link to her sidebar* Happy ^_^...

~ Harle

2003-11-28T12:53:00.000+08:00

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! (or: RingCon 2003)

*blinks a couple of times* "Is that a beer belly I see? And how come his hair's getting blonder?"

~ me upon seeing Kiwi actor Craig Parker's photos from RingCon 2003 at Fozzer's RingCon 2003 Report

IT. IS. NOT. FAIR.

We should've been there!

If only for the sake of seeing Craig with blonde hair - at least TO ME it looked like his hair was going blonde. Peroxide blonde, in fact.

Yes, it was that time of the year again, and Bonn, Germany was THE place to be if you were an LOTR fan - or, at the very least, looking out for the drop-dead gorgeous New Zealand actors Mark Ferguson (Gil-galad/Witchking) and Craig Parker (Haldir). Yup, it was RingCon time again.

Aaaanyway, since I wasn't there, I'll just have to rely on Fozzer's RingCon 2003 Report as a source. And I do have to admit, I may not have been there, but the photos speak VOLUMES.

First of all, I'd just like to make a couple of hirits [comments] about Craig's look this RingCon:

1. Is it just me, or is he getting BLONDER? I mean, blonde makes his face look fat - if no one believes me, check out Haldir's scenes in FOTR and TTT and compare them with pics of Craig WITHOUT the wig - and you will all see what I mean. *prepares a dark-colored hair dye and skitters off to find Craig and apply it on his hair and make him look NORMAL again for Mel's sake*

2. Hmmm, is he growing a paunch or something? *opens files containing pics from last year's RingCon, and compares them with the pics from this year's RingCon* I mean, his belly seems to have grown a couple inches since last year. Looks like he's going to have to do some sit-ups to get a flat stomach again - or Mel and the rest of the Philippine Women's Hockey Team can take him to Gameworks Alabang and "play" with him a little. And NO, I don't mean THAT kind of play (you dirty minded people you), but hockey - NOT tonsil-hockey (that's a privilege only Mel can have, when we're talking about Craig ^_~), but INLINE hockey.

3. Stubble? Well...that's okay since it looks quite good on him. Still, I prefer my men clean-shaven, thank you very much *looks at Mark longingly*

4. Is Craig really THAT short?! He looks only as tall as me, or slightly taller. Then again, I'm comparing him to Mark and Mark's around 6'3" *scowls at the deities of genetics for neglecting to give her that one particular gene in her Spanish heritage that could have allowed her to grow taller*

Apparently, Mercy Peak is about to end, or has ended already. While this may be sad news to some people, I take this with a light heart. First of all, the end of the series means the beginning of DVD production, which means that I can buy DVD sets of the episodes and watch them here in the Philippines. Also, the end of the series means definite closure, which means Mel and I can start seriously writing those fics we've been planning for Mercy Peak.

Also, there's news that Craig is going to be starring in a production (theater, I think) of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I wonder what role he's going to play...the Witch? *is thwapped by the Almighty Unseen Hand* OW! Okay, I get the point! Jeez!

As for Mark *sighs*... I got no complaints. The man has great fashion sense (unlike Orlando Bloom - check out my earlier entries and Mai's LJ to find out more about THAT fiasco) and looks as buff as he did during RingCon 2002 - either that, or because of his good fashion sense he can hide any increase in body fat.

*giggles as she leafs through the pics* Awww...Mark looks so cute! He's actually got dimples!

*pauses and looks at pic, raises eyebrow and then grins evilly at seeing Craig's abs* I take everything I said about Craig being fat right back. There's one pic from the Mark and Craig Comedy Skit that proved me wrong. Open mouth, insert foot, Harle... Oh, and Mel, you know those dreams you used to have of Craig? Goddess, I can see WHY you wanted them to come as frequently as they could before... Those abs DEFINITELY imply something else.

Hmmm... I wonder if Mark's got abs like that?

*giggles* Mark lost his passport, eh? Hmm, I wonder why... *whistles innocently as she tries to hide something that looks suspiciously like a passport behind her back*

If any of you want a glimpse of the pictures I am referring to (or anything else, for that matter) just drop by here and poke around. Even the pictures are enough to send someone sprawling out of the chair and onto the floor from laughing so hard. That's what happened to me, actually *rubs sore tailbone as she types with one hand*...

--~*~--

It's been a while since the last one, but this latest one is rather freaky.

Yes, I've had ANOTHER dream of Mark Ferguson, one that's similar in tone to the first one. And, just like the first one, it didn't get too far - or as far as I might've wanted ^_~.

This one seemed a LOT more real than the first because this time, I SWEAR I thought I was half-awake.

The airconditioning was cold. I rolled over onto my left side, pulling the blankets along with me. Since I sensed that Max wasn't sleeping next to me I knew that I could have as much of the blankets as I wanted.

But something tugged them away from me, and by that time I was too sleepy to really care. And then I felt someone kiss me on the cheek. That cleared some of the sleep-fog from my brain, but not enough.

Next thing I know, someone's lying over me, and kissing my throat. And from the accent and the sound of the voice, I know who it is: Mark Ferguson. I lift my left hand up to clutch his head just at the base of his skull, where the neck joins with the head. I can feel his hair underneath my palm, as well as the touch of his lips on my throat and the weight of his body over mine. Everything is so real and seems to RIGHT that I'm prepared to believe that it is.

And then I realize that Mark CAN'T be in the house, and so the whole thing must be a dream. The moment this realization hits me, I hear him groan, and he says this: "I waited far too long for another chance at this with her, just her, and then you take her away from me so soon. It's not fair."

And then I wake up totally. I check the clock, and see that it's only slightly past three-thirty in the early morning. It really was just a dream.

So...what do you guys think? Mai thinks that it's very possible, since everything felt so real, that Mark and I were dreaming of the same thing at the same time, but she urges me to be cautious. I don't know...I kinda LIKED what happened - or what could have happened - in that dream.

~ Harle