Fairy Tale Complex

2004-01-24T18:41:00.000+08:00

Concerning Bratty Children: A Reaction to a Post on Anand's Friends' Page

"Mom, I don't want to take care of them ever again." ["them" referring to the two children I had to babysit]

"I know. Thank God that you and your sister weren't ever like that when you were younger. At least your Dad and I did something right in that aspect."

~ a conversation between me and Mom last summer as we were going home from a vacation at Lake Caliraya

I read this entry by Elaur on Anand's friends' page, and it talked about handling bratty children, how hellish it can be handling these children, and how it is the parents who are most likely at fault if these children turn out to be less than likeable.

For more information on my experience with Brats from Hell, read this. Elaur, I know you don't know me, but we're not alone in experiencing the hell of taking care of bratty children.

I grew up in a family that wasn't against corporal punishment (spanking), but it was used sparingly. I remember my grandmother spanking me on the hands with a giant ruler whenever I did something wrong (like rollerbladed inside the house even when she told me I shouldn't), and my dad spanking me on the butt when I lied to him. But like I said a while ago, these were very rarely used, and only for major transgressions - things I already KNEW I'd get in trouble for, but did anyway.

Most of the time, my parents sent me to the Hot Corner. Basically, what they did was they made me stand facing a particular corner of the house, and made me stay there for hours on end. Now, when you're a kid and would much rather run around and play (or at least DO something), staying in the Hot Corner with absolutely NOTHING to do except stare at a blank wall is TORTURE. This was the case when I was around eight to twelve, when I was considered too old for spanking, but not old enough for getting grounded.

Here in the Philippines, children generally grow up well-disciplined. We're taught from the moment we can talk that we should respect our parents and older siblings and grandparents and other older relatives, and that this respect extends to non-family members like teachers and yayas [nannies in Filipino]. We're taught how to use the words "po" and "opo", which are terms of respect when addressing older people and answering their questions.

Here's a typical example:

Older woman: Ilang taon ka na, hija? [How old are you, dearie?]

Child: Limang taong gulang, po [Five years old, ma'am.]

Old woman: Ah. May kapatid ka ba? [Ah. Do you have a sibling?]

Child: Opo. [Yes ma'am].

Old woman: Lalaki ba? [Is it a boy?]

Child: Hindi po, babae po. [No ma'am, it's a girl].

You pretty much get the picture, right? The use of "po" and "opo" are drilled into our heads the moment we can start talking. I've never addressed close family members using those terms (we were more Western in our upbringing), but I was taught to use them with older people outside the family.

And my parents never tried to "sweet-talk" me out of doing anything or when they were telling me not to do something. When they meant business, they MEANT business. My sister and I could tell when they got mad about something we did, and we usually learned out lesson, and never did it ever again. They never cursed at me and my sister, bu we DID know when they were mad.

All in all, I think I can say that while what they did has left scars on my trust and confidence (I have never confided anything to my father, for example, because he was the one who did the spanking when I was young), I do have to say that they did raise me and my sister right. My sister and I are more or less respectable young women (hah! They haven't seen what I talk about online), and for them, they did a pretty good job.

~ Harle

2004-01-23T16:25:00.000+08:00

Filking and the People of the TPTS

"Ang ganda ng poem mo [Your poem is beautiful]! I love its elegaic quality. Naiinggit ako sa mga nakakasulat ng ganyan [I'm jealous of people who can write like that]!

It inspired me to read Lord Byron. :D"

~ email on my first poem filk from Christina Montes of the TPTS

I've taken to poem filking now.

What's poem filking? Well, basically it's like song filking - you take an established text, whether song or poetry, and then add words and/or change already existing ones so that they fit in with something you want to do.

Apparently, the people of the TPTS are all crazy about filking. There are several song filks up on the website, but I think mine is the first poem filk yet. So far, the people seem to like it quite a bit, and as Christina commented above, she likes the "elegaic" quality of it.

The thing is, I don't think I've really achieved that level of greatness yet. After all, all I did was copy a poem, change a few words here and there, and submitted it. Most of the hard work was done by Lord Byron (for writing the poem on which I based my filk) and Tolkien (for creating the cities I mentioned in the filk).

Anyway, if anybody wants to read it, here it is:

--~*~--

A Lament to Doriath and Gondolin

Standard disclaimers apply.

I.
Oh! Weep for those that died by Sirion’s
stream,
Turgon’s halls are desolate, whose land a
dream;
Weep, for the harps of Doriath now lie
still,
Mourn—where Thingol hath dwelt the
fish now dwell!

II.
And where shall Doriath lave her bleeding
feet?
And when shall Menegroth’s songs again seem
sweet?
And Gondolin’s melody once more rejoice
The hearts that leap’d before its heavenly
voice?

III.
Elves of the wandering foot and weary
breast,
How shall ye flee away and be at rest!
The great eagle hath his eyrie, the nightingale her
tree,
But Doriath and Gondolin now lie in the
sea!

--~*~--

And that's it.

~ Harle

2004-01-21T18:03:00.000+08:00

A Letter to Someone who Could (and by all rights SHOULD) have been My Friend...

Dear _______________,

Hey, long time no talk. How've you been? How's life treating you? Me, it's been okay. Good, actually. There's wrinkles and crinkles here and there - okay, so there's more underneath the surface than even I would like to think, but...that's too depressing a subject to talk about. And I don't think you'd want to hear about the depressing stuff in my life.

Or maybe you do. Maybe that's why you dropped by here one fine day, hoping to catch a glimpse of how my life is. Luckily enough - for you or for me, I don't know - you dropped by during a time when life WAS good for me, more or less. I can't say that life is always good, but there are highs, and that time was one of them.

You dropped by, and liked what you saw. You said that you liked my humor, the way I could write about mundane, everyday things and make them sound so interesting. Maybe that's what got you going. You seemed like the type of guy who would be interested in someone who could make you laugh.

Is it hard to make you laugh? Some people seem to think so. You can make other people laugh so easily, but do they make you laugh? Is it really that hard to make you laugh? If that is so, then I'll take it as a compliment that I'm that good a writer. But if not, well...any compliment is good anytime, especially from someone like you.

When you told me that, we got to talking. You said you wanted to know what went on behind the digital curtains, what went on in real life. And me, being the stupid, idiotic, hormonally-driven girl that I was at that time, DID let you behind the curtain. I allowed you a small glimpse into what lay behind the smiles and the laughter and the twisted, yet still amusing, humor.

And I don't think you liked what you saw, if your silence after that was any indication.

But you asked, and who am I to deny you? Well, maybe I should have denied you. I think I crammed too much down your throat in one go. Maybe that's what scared you away. You saw behind the mask and to the truth beyond. You saw the bogs that lay just out of sight beyond the flowering meadows and the sunshine.

Maybe it was wrong of me to let you in so quickly. People say that I'm too trusting, that others can take advantage of me. But that's what called you to me, wasn't it? The fact that I let total strangers take a glimpse into my life and am not bothered about it.

But as you so learned, I still do hold some secrets near to me. There are many secrets that I hold near to me. And when I tried to share them with you, you didn't come back.

It's too late now. This place is not as happy as it seems. Life isn't as happy as it seems anymore. You'd know that, if you still come by to look, if only out of curiosity - if you remember me at all.

But that doesn't matter anymore. Life goes on, and will always. If you have forgotten about me, then I suppose it's only right. You have your own life to lead, and you probably don't have time for this anymore. If you haven't forgotten about me, and still remember me in some small way - even if it is only to make fun of me and my gullibility - then I thank you for that.

It was my fault, I guess, rushing things and hoping for something I couldn't have. It seemed as if my dreams were on the verge of coming true when I had thought they would never, and I clung to that hope. Because of that, because I clung too much to a silly, girlish hope, I ruined whatever chance I had at being your friend.

That is my only regret here. By all rights, we should have been friends, even if there were so many discrepancies between the two of us - distance, age, culture. Friendship isn't picky in that regard, and you know that as well as I do. But what has happened, has happened, and I can do nothing but look back and wonder what it would have been like if I had changed a few things here and there, if I had not been over-eager, if I had been silent on some things, and more vocal about others.

But there's nothing left to say. Like I said before, what has happened has happened, and I cannot change that, even if I wanted to. I still want to be your friend, if you will permit that, but if I am not allowed that privilege...oh well.

Oh well.

Yours truly,

Your Should-Have-Been Friend

2004-01-18T17:01:00.000+08:00

ROTK and Cons (or: HA~PPY!!!!)

"Ang GANDA!!!!" ["It's BEAUTIFUL!!!!"]

~ me commenting on ROTK, as well as on Hadhafang, Narsil and Sting at the TPTS booth at the 2nd. Sci-Fi and Fantasy Con today at Rockwell Mall

First, quizzies snatched from Anand's friends' page and other places:

A sneaky snob, my favorite kind!

Are You a Fic Snob?
brought to you by Quizilla

Maybe, to a certain extent... After all, I don't just read ALL the fics there are out there...

Golly Gee!! You are NORMAN ROCKWELL.
You are a painter of simple, everyday happenings.
You tend to avoid the outrageous and stay well
within the guidelines of society. Your friends
count on you for your loyalty and
level-headedness.

Which famous artist most reflects your personality?
brought to you by Quizilla

What was that quote from that booklet they were selling at the TPTS booth? "It is in the little things that we find things of beauty."

Which [5 Elements] are you?

I just checked my Chinese horoscope, and I'm supposed to be Wood, not Gold... *shrugs* Ah well...

center>
Which [Movie Genres] are you?

I prefer fantasy, thank you very much...

You are blessed with FAERY wings. Beauty,
laughter, life, magic...that's what you are all
about. You are refreshingly innocent and happy
with your life of purity and play. Life's a
game and it's a good one. In your eyes there's
no way to lose! You can be very mischeivous and
have been known to cause trouble, but it's all
in the name of fun and not meant to really harm
anyone. You like to play tricks on people who
aren't quite as bright or clever as you - which
is almost everyone. Nature is the setting you
prefer to be in - Always. Barefoot and wild you
can't be tamed. You're probably a restless
spirit who loves to travel, and quite a
dreamer. Your creativity is astounding and your
art (of whatever media - from writing to
painting to drama) is like something from
another world - ethereal and often very
fantasy-oriented. You can either be a social
butterfly or a loner with their head in the
clouds - but rarely inbetween. You stubbornly
refuse to accept responsibility or to give in
to the wishes of others - unless you feel like
it. You have a strong passion for music and
can't imagine life without it. You'll grow up
someday, but you'll always be a child at heart.
You are adventurous and love to take risks, and
feel a deep connection with the weather,
plants, and animals. You prefer sunshine to
thunder or snow, the warmth of summer to
autumn's chill, and quiet forests to suburban
backyards. Magic through and through, you are
far more powerful than you seem, and are
capable of being extremely passionate. Though
you can be childish, naive, stubborn, and
self-absorbed, one thing is certain - life with
you will never be boring!

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

This is more of Mel's department, but I like faery wings either way.

You are a Samurai.
You have trained the majority of your life. You are
honerable, you follow your word. You spare no
one once in combat, but that is expected, for
your oponent would do the same to you. You use
a two-handed katana.

What type of Swordsman are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*grins broadly* KENSHIN RULES!

You are a tabby cat. The total home-body. You'd be
content just to stay at home all day and not
get up from the couch. You lazy sloth! Try and
make a movement every now and then, or someone
might decide to bury you in the back yard!

What color of cat are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*the good ole cat-ears pop up at the top of the head* Mreow...

--~*~--

I can only use one phrase to sum up the LOTR Trilogy:

Epic in scope, epic in emotional exploration... EPIC in every sense of the word.

And indeed, that's the only way to completely describe the Trilogy. It explores so many things and delves into so many emotions, that after you watch all three movies (and I did, trust me...) end to end, it's like...I don't know...catharsis.

I've watched the movie twice. And I will watch it a third, a fourth time - as long as the opportunity presents itself, I will.

The movies are great therapy. Great catharsis.

I needed it.

--~*~--

I will cackle now: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I just got back from the 2nd. Sci-Fi & Fantasy Con at Rockwell, and I am very, VERY happy. I have photos from today, and I will post them up as soon as my mom has them developed and I have them scanned.

I came in "semi-costume" today: a white long-sleeved blouse with "Eowyn sleeves" and brown twiny-flower patterns on the upper arms and at the sides of the torso. The skirt was a dark brown velvet-type material up to the middle of my calf. There's a strip of materal in a floral pattern sewed close to the hem, and that band of material us edged with the a rather stiff lace-like thing in khaki. The same lace is overlaid on the belt. For footwear, I was wearing brown step-ins (what did my aunt call them? Sapadillas) with a metal buckle, and for accessories, I brought a dark brown leather messenger bag, a pendant made of a clear quartz crystal hanging on a black string, and a ring consisting of an oval of clear quartz set in silver.

... Yeah, I know I suck at decriptions. But when the photos come in, you'll all be able to see ^^.

At the TPTS booth, the best part was the weapons display. They had Sting, Anduril and Hadhafang on display there. I got lucky today, and so I have pictures of me holding Hadhafang and Sting.

The photos will do all the talking when I show them next time ^_^.

~ Harle

2004-01-10T17:14:00.000+08:00

Start of School, Tarot Readings for Anand, Coffeebased, and Mad Maeglin, and Other Stuff

The Wheel weaves what the Wheel wills."

~ Moiraine Sedai, from Robert Jordan's "The Eye of the World," Book 1 of the Wheel of Time

First of all, quizzes that I snatched from various places (mostly from Anand's friends' page:

What LotR Mary Sue cliche are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Naturally...

Your soul is bound to the Rose Bud: The
Naive.

"I keep all of my secrets somewhere inside
and though I haven't let myself shine to the
world, I'm good for something but too good to
give to you."

The Rose Bud is associated with innocence,
curiosity, and confidence. It is governed by
the god Cupid and its sign is The Dewdrop, or
Puppy Love.

As a Rose Bud, you may have grand ideas about love
and you may well be inexperienced. You tend to
be optomistic, idealistic, and curious, but
it's just because you like being a positive
person. You also may have high thoughts of
yourself, and can come off a bit conceited, but
it's just a mask to hide your lack of
experience.

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla

I guess...

You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

And I'd better, I suppose, or else I won't have any success as a writer...

Ladyharle in Title Deed

(Jamie Lee Curtis) has in one day isolated most of her campaign supporters. Punctuated by a series of mysterious phone calls, her best laid plan is in serious doubt, and , her attorney (Cate Blanchett), is being frightfully unhelpful. (Elizabeth Taylor) has an escape, though the jury is out regarding the wisdom involved in that process.

Produced by ianiceboy

*chortles* Funny...

I am Strength

Strength represents patience and compassion. Getting angry is easy when events turn sour, but dealing calmly with frustration takes great strength. So does accepting others and forgiving mistakes. We need strength to mold situations softly. The Chariot controls through mastery and authority. Card 8 is more subtle, even loving. Notice how the lion (itself a symbol of strength) is being guided and tamed by the woman's gentle hands.

For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.com

What tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate.

Mebbe...

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm not THAT mean...

The backspace key! You are happy in life and you
will be happy enough to help anyone at all and
the backspace key helps a lot of people by
correcting thier mistakes.
Thank's for taking my quiz!

Which key on the keyboard are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Is this a commentary on my memory span?

You are the Proud owner of Orlando Bloom's Eyes!
His eyes are the most gorgeous on the planet so
consider yourself lucky. Enjoy getting lost in
those deep brown orbs of chocolate goodness.

Which part of Orlando Bloom's body do you own?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeah, I'm a sucker for gorgeous eyes...

Bet you practice Wicca or Paganism or possibly more liberal Christianity. You probably love Dead Can Dance, anything ethereal, and might be vegetarian. You probably also like to hug people.

What kind of goth are you?

Created by ptocheia

Quite accurate, really...

Oolong tea: Bold and cultural.

What kind of tea are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

This ought to be types of coffee...

Congratulations! You're Legolas!

Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hey, in a tropical country, you HAVE to bathe at least once a day, and at least twice during summer! So sue me!

You're ELEGANT sexy! You have a tasteful style,
that not only draws attention to you, but gives
you respect. Your style is more graceful than
that of others.

What kind of sexy are you? [For girls only! With Pics! Finally Finished!]
brought to you by Quizilla

*blinks* Am I, really?

--~*~--

Next: Tarot readings for Mad Maeglin, Coffeebased, and Anand.

Mad Maeglin's reading

January: Queen of Pentacles (future plans) + 5 of Pentacles (loss; unpleasant differences)

~ There is the presence of a feminine influence who is good with handling money, but can be demanding and critical. There will be a chance for you to get all the rewards you have worked to get for so long, and this is also a good time to plan for the future. However, you had better watch out, because there is also the possibility of losing a home or a job. Differences could come up that will separate you from your lovers or family. Try to learn to bend a little, to compromise, and everything should be fine.

February: Page of Swords (impulsiveness; troubles) + 3 of Pentacles (profitable skills; satisfaction)

~ Be careful, because you may start acting impulsively during this time. That is not a very wise thing to do, because you may end up biting more than you can chew and get yourself into a lot of trouble. Also, this is an advance warning of trouble in your life, accompanied by unexpected changes. On the other hand, this also indicates a time of "creative high," when your talents and skills are put to good and profitable use for you. You will feel a great sense of satisfaction after completing a particular project.

March: Death (transformation) + 10 of Swords (disruption; dark times)

~ An unexpected event forces you to make a dramatic change. Lies and illusions are taken away, and you only see the clear, naked truth. Plans are about to be disrupted, no matter how well-laid they are. To survive, you will have to make radical changes and adjustments about yourself and the way you live.

April: Queen of Cups (strong psychic feelings) + The Hanged Man (suspended activity)

~ There is a female influence present, who is loving and protective by nature. There is a sense of quiet contentment about your life and the way it is going. This is also a period of strong pyschic feelings. It might be wise to take advantage of this increase in psychic activity, due to the fact that you will most likely be in a state wherein you cannot come to a firm decision. Be careful of illusions, because this is not the proper time to be off floating in the clouds. You think things are not moving, and that is true, because you cannot come to a firm decision.

May: The Star (spiritual experiences) + 6 of Cups (reunions; unexpected gifts)

~ During this time, you may feel the need to stretch your spiritual limitations, to test your boundaries and explore new possibilities. Divine guidance is available for you, but you must listen to get that guidance. A reunion with old friends is possible. With new opportunities on the horizon, it would be wise to go and grab them while they are there, before they slip away from you forever. You may also be receiving unexpected gifts.

June: 4 of Swords (rest; a pause) + The Magician (self-control; learning magick)

~ During this time, you will rest from a very troubling and anxiety-filled point in your life. This is the momentary pause before things become better. It is also possible that your physical energy will experience a drop during this time. Also, this is a time whne you will be studying new things to gain what you want and need. All your thoughts and actions flow in harmony towards your goal. During this time, it would be wise to learn self-control, in order to gain what you want.

July: 9 of Pentacles (comfortable aloneness) + 8 of Wands (movement; urgency)

~ During this time, you may feel more comfortable with yourself, and thus do not seek the companionship as actively as before. Also, barriers that once surrounded you drop away all of a sudden, and you realize that you have more room to move around in. Remember that this period of almost total freedom will not last, and so you must move quickly to get what you want. Urgent messages of good news start heading your way. A trip by air is possible.

August: 5 of Swords (slander; arguments; failure) + King of Swords (opposition; obey the laws)

~ Slander, arguments, and pettiness of a malicious nature are coming your way. It's possible that your plans may fail. Avoid rash behavior, because that is what will lead you into trouble. Now is not the time to rebel. You must play against the rules, especially if you are handed a new project. Not playing the game by the guidelines will get you into further trouble. There might also be the presence of a powerful but stubborn masculine influence, who may also be opposing you.

September: Knight of Wands (sudden changes) + 4 of Pentacles (grasping at money)

~ Things are about to change very suddenly, so you must be as quick on your toes as well, so that you will be able to cope up with these changes. If you want to solve everything in your favor, you must move as fast as you can. If you have been stuck in something, you will become un-stuck and move forward. However, be wary of people who are not good at handling money, and be careful of how you use your money. Being too stingy or having someone who is stingy nearby could ruin your plans. It is possible that you will receive a gift or an inheritance.

October: 9 of Swords (great sadness; loss) + 6 of Pentacles (just rewards)

~ This could be a time of great sadness and depression. You will be receiving what is due you, for good or bad. If you loaned someone money, that loan will be repayed.

November: 10 of Cups (goals reached; contentment) + 3 of Swords (emotional upheavals)

~ Your goals are reached successfully. Contentment and happiness will come into your life. Strong friendships or love will be bright spots in your life. A happy family occasion is possible during this time. However, arguments and emotional upheavals could put a damper to your plans. You will feel betrayed by someone close to you.

December: The Chariot (maintaining balanced control) + Page of Pentacles (message of love)

~ If you can maintain balanced control over a situation, and if you maintain your confidence and stay centered. You're going to have to pull two opposing forces together to make a situation work for you. In the meantime, fresh ideas and new methods of doing things make you more optimistic about your future. A message of love arrives, and you may receive a gift given in friendship like that.

Important Event: Two of Swords (tension; indecision) + Page of Pentacles (news of money)

~ You are unable to make decisions in your relationships or friendships, and that causes or increases the tension that's going on. You are having a hard time gaining your sense of balance, and that is affecting your plans about where you want to go. You must balance two things that are important in your life, and you cannot come to a firm decision regarding these two things. On the other hand, news of money comes unexpectedly to you. Prophetic dreams could be on the horizon, so pay close attention to your dreams.

--~*~--

Coffeebased'sreading

January: 6 of Cups (reunions; unexpected gifts) + 8 of Cups (lack of discipline)

~ A reunion with old friends may be on the horizon. New opportunities are on the way; be sure that you are ready to act on them. Unexpected gifts may surprise you. Make sure, however, that you do not abandon your goals too soon. If you do not discipline yourself, you may end up failing. Face up to your responsibilities, do not walk away from them, or you will end up more miserable than before.

February: 6 of Pentacles (just rewards) + The Emperor (power; God influence)

~ You will be receiving what is due you, good or bad. Someone repays a past loan of money or time. If you implement your leadership skills, your life will be smoother. You may be influenced by a charismatic personality. You may move into a position of power. God influences will control your life. However, be careful that you do not control other people or allow yourself to be controlled.

March: 10 of Wands (struggle; loss) + 4 of Pentacles (grasping at money)

~ You have to struggle to keep things going. A difficult series of events wears on your strength and endurance. You will experience a minor but painful loss after much effort. You or someone close to you is very money oriented. There may be a person close to you, or you yourself, who has an unhealthy grasping control of finances. You could receive gifts, even an inheritance.

April: 9 of Wands (a pause) + 4 of Cups (old memories; dissatisfaction)

~ There is a pause after a difficult period in life, giving you much needed rest. This is a time when you must carefully plan your next step. Success is in sight but more effort is needed. Also, stop dwelling on old memories. One of your relationships, whether with family, friends, or a lover, will be tested.

May: 3 of Wands (planning; partnership) + The Tower (discord; catastrophe)

~ Successful ideas require a period of planning to succeed. A partnership is possible in your work, and establish communications with distant places. However, be prepared, because a shocking event will happen that will leave you changed. Potential catastrophe is near, so it is best to be prepared. Your life is complicated by discord in a relationship or in the family. Unforseen setbacks bring frustration and despondency.

June: 7 of Pentacles (anxiety; progress stopped) + Page of Pentacles (news of money)

~ Progress could be stopped in the middle of a project. Your effort may be spent on the wrong things. News of money comes unexpectedly. You could experience a period of prophetic dreams. Now is the opportunity to delve into a new area of study and knowledge.

July: High Priestess (unknown future) + 5 of Cups (negative events)

~ Hidden influences are at work; the future is in the process of being formed, and thus cannot be fully predicted. This is an appropriate time to practice developing your intuition and psychic abilities, to be more introspective. This is also the time to make new goals and refine old ones. You may be hurt from seeing through an illusion. This could also be a period when you tend to dwell only on negative events and happenings. A friendship or relationship may be broken.

August: The Lovers (an emotional decision) + 5 of Swords (slander; arguments; failure)

~ You may be faced with an attraction or a temptation that may not be good for you. There will be an attraction of opposites that may be difficult to reconcile. When you make a decision, do it based on the facts, and not on your emotions. You may also face a period of malicious gossip and slander targeted against you. It is possible that your plans may fail. Do not be to rash, because that's where the trouble will come from.

September: The Sun (positive events) + 2 of Wands (focus will and energy)

~ Positive events leave you feeling happy and free. You may be blessed with material gain or recognition for your work, and good news is on its way. Focus your will and energy to accomplish your plans and gain what you desire. Help with realization of a dream may come from a distance. A new endeavor requires courage and planning for the future.

October: High Priest (facing karmic issues) + The World (achieving success and goals)

~ Abide by the rules, or suffer the consequences. A situation may require you to sign a contract or a document; read the fine print carefully so that you know what you are getting yourself into. Your dreams may tell you that you should stop running away from reality and your responsibilities and start facing up to them. In the end, everything may go right for you. You are entering a period of time wherein everything you do in all aspects of your life will be successful.

November: The Hermit (solitude) + The Moon (dreams; intuition)

~ You may prefer solitude at this point in time, or you may meet someone who does. A counselor or teacher gives you sound advice. Rethink your goals after giving the situation much thought; use all practical resources to come to a decision. Pull back from the frantic pace of your life or you may end up damaging your health. Also, pay attention to your dreams, even if they come unexpectedly. This is a time when you may act impulsively. Be warned: secret enemies are at work, and people are not who they seem because of the illusions they place around themselves. Deception may be used against you. Also, stop thinking negatively, because it is going to do more harm than good.

December: 9 of Cups (wishes granted) + 7 of Wands (difficulties; competition)

~ Your wish will be granted. Success, accomplishment and satisfaction are on their way into your life. However, there will be difficult times ahead before any of these things can happen. Competition in something important to you will bring difficulty and harsh feelings. Be aware and protect yourself against adversaries. Now is the time to take a stand on an issue that is important to you.

Important Event: The Chariot (maintaining balanced control) + King of Pentacles (success in business and money)

~ Balanced control of a situation allows you to benefit. Success comes through confidence and being centered. You must pull together two opposing forces to accomplish a goal. There may be a masculine influence present who is domineering, but wise and loyal. Success in money matters is now possible. Beware of stubborness that could alienate others.

--~*~--

Anand's reading

January: Knight of Wands (sudden changes) + 4 of Cups (old memories; dissatisfaction)

~ There is a possibility of sudden change in some aspect of your life. Quick action is needed to resolve some issues in your favor. Things are now moving forward. On the other hand, stop dwelling on old memories. They only hold you back. A relationship is tested. You may experience illogical dissatisfaction with a relationship or job.

February: Ace of Swords (decision; activity) + The Moon (dreams; intuition)

~ You are in the process of making decisions that will affect your life for some time. A new period or cycle of much activity is imminent. Beware of activity without thought, because not everything is as it seems. Dreams may come unexpectedly to you; pay close attention to them, because they may have something to tell you. Be wary of those who know how to cast illusions about themselves, and prepare yourself against the attacks of secret enemies. Deception is being used against you. Also, get rid of your negative and illusory thinking, because it only holds you back.

March: 5 of Wands (obstacles; opposition) + Death (transformation)

~ Obstacles and opposition from others may complicate your life; you will have to struggle to overcome this. Harmful gossip could damage your reputation and/or career. On the other hand, a significant transformation approaches. An unplanned event requires you to make a dramatic or radical change. Illusions are stripped away, leaving you with the bare truth.

April: The Emperor (power; God influence) + The Magician (self-control; learning magick)

~ Your life will be smoother if you cultivate leadership and stability in order to progress. You may be influenced by a charismatic personality. You may move into a position of power in your job. If you have been thinking of something involving real estate, now is a good time to make a transaction. Be careful, however, of controlling others, and of others controlling you. On the other hand, you are learning how to use faith and willpower to get what you want. Your thoughts and actions flow in harmony to accomplish what must be done. This would be a good time to learn self-control.

May: Queen of Swords (learning lessons; manipulation) + 8 of Swords (restriction; fear)

~ You will be faced with an important lesson that you must learn but have been avoiding. Be careful of getting your way through manipulation, because doing so may backfire in the end, and it will come back worse than before. A turn of events or your own indecision leaves you feeling bound and restricted. You do not want to leave an unpleasant relationship or job. There is also the possibility of illness.

June: King of Wands (ambition; leadership) + 5 of Swords (slander; arguments; failure)

~ A masculine influence, who is powerful in the business world, may help you in making a decision. Ambition and leadership will get you ahead in your career. Beware that haste and ego do not get you into trouble. Also, you may face a period of malicious slander, arguments and pettiness. There is a possibility of failure of plans. Problems and trouble may arise from rash behavior.

July: Page of Pentacles (news of money) + The Wheel (change of fortune)

~ News of money comes unexpectedly. You could experience a period of prophetic dreams. Now is your chance to delve into a new area of study and knowledge. Also, luck and fate are turning to your favor. You have entered a change of life cycles that will allow you to move forward or slide backward, depending on how prepared and determined you are. It is time to make changes.

August: 7 of Pentacles (anxiety; progress stopped) + The Tower (discord; catastrophe)

~ Progress could be stopped in the middle of a project. There is a possibility of anxiety about finances. Your effort is spent on the wrong things. Also, you may experience or witness a shocking event that leaves you changed. Potential catastrophe is near; be prepared. Your life is complicated by discord in the family or relationship. Unforeseen setbacks may cause frustration and despondency. Your dreams may collapse into nothing.

September: King of Cups (emotional events) + The Hermit (solitude)

~ There is the presence of a loving and caring masculine influence. There is a possibility of a journey across water. You may experience moodswings. Also, you may crave solitude or you may meet someone who does. A counselor or teacher gives you sound advice. Rethink your goals after giving the situation much thought; use all practical resources to come to your decision. Pull back from your frantic round of activities or your health and happiness may be harmed.

October: 5 of Pentacles (loss; unpleasant differences) + Page of Cups (message of love)

~ Take care, because differences arise that could divide friends or lovers. There may be a period of deep loneliness. On the other hand, fresh ideas and new methods of doing things make your view on life more optimistic. A message of love arrives. You receive a gift given in friendship.

November: 2 of Wands (focus will and energy) + King of Swords (opposition; obey the laws)

~ Focus your will and energy to accomplish your desires. Help with realization of a dream may come from afar. A new endeavor requires courage and planning for the future. A powerful but stubborn male influence may be opposing you. This is not the time to do your own thing; you must play by the rules or suffer the consequences. Play the game by the rules, or else you will lose.

December: Strength (courage; inner strength) + 2 of Pentacles (harmony through changes)

~ Let your intuition guide you in taking a stand. If you are right in a disagreement, don't give in, but use calm persuasion to carry you to victory. Use courage, willpower, and inner strength to overcome difficulties. Prepare to juggle two life-events without losing control. You will know harmony and contentment even if there are changes going on around you. This is a time of moodswings and fluctuations in energy.

Important Event: Ace of Cups (joy; fertile period) + 7 of Cups (daydreams; responsibility)

~ New beginnings in your life will bring you joy and contentment. Your spiritual growth will expand and take you to a higher level of understanding. There is the possibility of a new love. This is also a fertile time for ideas. However, you may spend too much time daydreaming and not enough time taking action. Too many projects are going on at once and not enough is done on any one. You may refuse to look at reality.

--~*~--

Classes for me already started a few days ago, and I have to admit this now: my schedule doesn't really suck all that much, since I end up not having to attend classes MWF, but that does mean I won't be able to meet up with The Pan the on as often as I would like. I can only meet them every other Wednesday, after that excuse I gave to my mom about supposedly having to attend org meetings on that same schedule. Mai, I'll most likely be there to meet Ginny-chan, so don't ye worry ^_~.

So far, everything has been going good. I have a lot of good friends with me in my classes, and Mel and I have the same break and dismissal, so that's okay for me.

--~*~--

Since I don't have to go to school on MWF, that leaves me with a LOT of time on my hands. So what do I do?

Watch DVDs.

Just last Friday, I watched Patriot Games and Hero. The former is based on a Tom Clancy novel, while the latter is the biggest Chinese movie to have been ever made - and it makes a LOT more sense than Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

Why did I watch Patriot Games? Simply to see Sean Bean (Boromir in LOTR) talk in an Irish accent ^_~. I'm currently looking for a DVD of Goldeneye featuring Pierce Brosnan, because it's got Sean Bean as the lead antagonist, Agent 006.

As for Hero, it deals with the question: do you do something for yourself, or for the common good? Aside from the excellent story, the fight scenes are wonderful too. I paid close attention to the swords, and I do have to admit they're cool ^_~.

--~*~--

Speaking of Sean Bean, Mel's obsessed over the man. VERY much obsessed. If only for her, I'd like to know where I can get DVD copies of the episodes of the TV-series version of Lady Chatterly's Lover. Just to show Mel Sean Bean au naturel, I think is the term ^_~.

Also, lately I've been into making computer wallpapers. I'm not all that good yet, since I'm not that well-versed with Photoshop yet, but I'm learning. Slowly. I've given Mel two wallpapers of Sean Bean (one of him as Boromir and another of him as Alan Barrows, a made-up character), and I have another one of him hostage until she gives me her promised Quentin-Stella smut ^_^.

Neeway, that's all for now. I got more to say, but can't because Nickelodeon playing in the background is getting on my nerves and I can't elaborate on much.

~ Harle

2004-01-03T21:45:00.000+08:00

New Year's Tarot Readings

"Nothing is ever written in stone. Not even this."

~ Mie Djeserit, from my new fic, "Forgotten Lands of Arda"

Last New Year's Eve, I decided to do a little treat for The Pan the on: I did a Tarot reading (using my Celtic Dragon Tarot deck) that gave insights into what could possibly happen to them for the rest of the coming year.

I don't remember the name of the spread anymore; I only remember coming across it when I was reading a book about Tarot spreads in Powerbooks recently, and kept it in my mind. It was elegantly simple: make a ring of twelve places, one for each month, with two cards per month, and in the center, two more cards telling what could possibly be the "highlight" or the important event of the coming year.

I am supposed to do a couple more for Mad Maeglin and Coffeebased, but I haven't had the energy to do it, so... That will come soon ^^;.

Anyway, here goes!

--~*~--

Mel's reading

January: Page of Wands (important news; foreign places) + 10 of Swords (disruption; dark times)

~ A message is coming soon - most likely news related to your studies. Something might come up that will put you in contact with foreign countries or people. However, something is bound to crop up that will result in the disruption of laid-down plans. There is also the possibility of deep depression. It's possible that the message to come will result in the disruption, or it is the disruption and dark times that will lead to the message, and thus to hope.

February: Temperance (new perspectives) + 2 of Swords (tension, indecision)

~ This indicates a time of creative inspiration, but this will also be a time of tension in relationships and friendships. There is also the lack "balance," of harmony with the rest of the world. Plans may not go as you wish them, and these may hamper your ability to adapt to new circumstances. Self-control is the possible solution to your dilemma, and may well be what you need to get through your problems and make a firm decision.

March: The Star (spiritual experiences) + 5 of Wands (obstacles; opposition)

~ The cosmos are trying to tell you something, but something else is getting in the way. There is a need for spiritual connections and new spiritual experiences beyond what you are used to, and you feel the need to stretch your limits and try something new, but others bar the way. Other people may oppose you, and they may spread very harmful gossip which will hinder you from gaining what you wish. Keep in mind, though, that the best way to overcome these things is to listen to what the Goddess and the God have to say. Maintain the spiritual connection, and you will get through this.

April: Ace of Swords (decisions; activity) + The Wheel (change of fortune)

~ Life-changing decisions are on their way, and their effects will shake your life up very much. Things will go in your favor, yet it is up to your decision - whether to move forward or to stay behind - that will decide whether these good things come to you or not. Beware, therefore, of making decisions without thinking them through, because whatever you decide will affect your life for a good long time to come.

May: 7 of Cups (daydreams; responsibility) + High Priestess (unknown future)

~ There is more dreaming done than actual work. You alone can shape the future into what you will it, and if you do not wake up soon, the chance to make a decision for yourself may slip away from you. There are too many things going on, and this may hinder you from the introspection that you most definitely need at this point in time. Now is the time to take responsibility and set new goals for yourself, or push through with old ones.

June: Knight of Pentacles (gains and losses) + 3 of Swords (emotional upheavals)

~ Arguments are forthcoming, as well as moodswings that range from mild to rather violent. There is a feeling of loss and betrayal by someone close to you. There are things to be gained and lost in this turbulent time, whether material or otherwise. Money, most likely in the form of a loan being repaid, will come in.

July: Queen of Cups (strong psychic feelings) + Queen of Pentacles (future plans)

~ There is the presence of a feminine influence who is loving, protective, and good with money, but she is also critical and may be demanding. This indicates a time of quiet contentment with your life, which makes it a good time to make plans about the future. Rewards that you have worked long and hard to get are acquired during this time. Your psychic abilities are strong, so use them to the best of your abilities to better your condition.

August: Chains (oppressive situations) + King of Swords (opposition; obey the law)

~ There is the fear or reluctance to break away from the bad situation or relationship, thus keeping you chained to a situation that does nothing good for you in the first place. There is also the possibility of someone bullying you into doing things you wouldn't want to do. You could also be refusing to see the truth about something, thus keeping you stuck in a massive rut. You will be forced to play by the rules, whether you like it or not, or else you may lose the game. There is a powerful and very stubborn masculine influence who is involved in the situation, and may be trying to oppose you.

September: Knight of Cups (unexpected pleasant times) + 4 of Cups (old memories; dissatisfaction)

~ Dreams and happy times are on their way. Someone you admire or care for deeply is going to show up and you will have time to spend with said person. However, do not let the past get in the way and ruin everything. Memories are better left as just that: memories. You should learn from them, but never let them get in the way of whatever is in the present, and especially not allow them to influence the future more than as lessons learned.

October: 4 of Swords (rest; a pause) + Strength (courage; inner strength)

~ There is a period of rest after a time of upset and anxiety. Use this time to build up your courage, and to take a stand on something that you believe is right. After this, things can quite possibly get better, if you decide that what you are fighting for is indeed worth fighting for. Do not back down just yet, because if you feel that what you are doing is the right thing, then go ahead and do so. Listen to your conscience and your heart. This may indicate a time of low energy physically.

November: 10 of Pentacles (property; business) + 8 of Swords (restriction; fear)

~ You feel as if you are trapped, and that you cannot help yourself, but the truth is that you can. It will be painful, cutting yourself free, but in the end that is what is most important: freedom. A family reunion could lift your spirits. Be aware, however, that there is the possibility of illness, so take care of yourself and everything will be alright.

December: 6 of Swords (journeys; difficult choices) + King of Wands (ambition; leadership)

~ There is the possibility of a trip from one place to another. You must make a very difficult decision aswell, one that may involve many great changes. Your leadership capabiliies, as well as your ambitions, play an important role in getting what you want. The influence of a man who is successful in the business world who could help in making a decision. Just be careful that you don't take your ego too far and let it get you in trouble.

Important Event: Queen of Swords (learning lessons; manipulation) + 2 of Wands (focus will and energy)

~ It is time to learn the lessons that you have been avoiding all this time. This time, you will be required to really focus your energies on something that you really want. If you do that, you may get it. A little manipulation here and there may help you get whatever it is you want, but remember that manipulation is a double-edged sword, and that it may backfire on you in the worst possible manner.

--~*~--

Mai's reading

January: Knight of Wands (sudden changes) + 4 of Swords (rest; a pause)

~ You have reached a break after a long and emotionally trying time. During this time, it is important to make fast decisions to resolve everything in your favor. You will have to cope with a lot of things happening very suddenly, but if you are quick on your feet and can think clearly enough to make good decisions while on the fly, then things may yet come down to something good for you.

February: 3 of Swords (emotional upheavals) + The Lovers (an emotional decision)

~ This is a very confusing time, with emotions running rampant. This is not the time to make your decisions based on what you feel, because emotions are high enough as they are without making them even higher by allowing them to spill into everything you decide. Keep calm, and try to think things over analytically. On the other hand, this state of turbulent emotions may actually lead to a romantic attraction, or a renewal of such. Temptation will be dangled right in front of you, but at this point in time it isn't wise to follow temptation because it is not good for you right now.

March: 3 of Cups (prosperity; success) + The Sun (positive events)

~ Things take a very good turn for the better. You feel more freedom with regards to your work. Material gain and recognition for what you do are forthcoming, along with good news. Happiness, success, and prosperity abound. Creative energies are running high, and they only bring in more success.

April: 5 of Pentacles (loss; unpleasant differences) + 6 of Swords (journeys; difficult choice)

~ There is the possibility of losing a home or job. Differences come up that will separate friends and lovers from you, followed by a long period of loneliness. There is the chance of a journey, whether physical or otherwise is not known, and you will most likely be confronted by a difficult decision. If you do not make up your mind properly, then you may lose more than you might have wished to lose - or can afford to lose.

May: King of Cups (emotional events) + 7 of Swords (bad feelings; snooping)

~ Don't go poking your nose into everybody's business, especially if they don't want you to. Don't use your personal hold on people for the wrong ends. A plan may fail because you have the wrong motives for going through with it. Remember the Three-fold Law. You may feel cheated or wronged by someone. There is the presence of a loving and caring masculine influence, as well as the possibility of a journey across water. This is also a time of moodswings.

June: 2 of Swords (tension; indecision) + 6 of Pentacles (just rewards)

~ This is a time of indecision for you, a time when your sense of balance is upset. Stability is necessary during this time, and you have to make definite decisions to go forward. Two important things in your life will be in conflict with one another, and you have to find a way to balance them both. You will get what you deserve, whether you like what you will get or not. If you loaned somebody money, they will repay it either in cash or in kind.

July: 4 of Pentacles (grasping at money) + 5 of Swords (slander; arguments; failure)

~ This is a time of much turbulence, characterized by arguments and black propaganda against you. Beware of acting rashly, because it may cause failure and no end of trouble for you. Beware also of being greedy or someone who is greedy for money. Someone close to you who has a very poor grasp of money may lead to trouble or cause trouble for you. Receiving an inheritance or a gift is also possible at this time.

August: Queen of Pentacles (future plans) + The Magician (self control; learning magick)

~ A feminine influence who is good with money will be present during this time. You will reap your rewards for all the hard work that you have done. Now is also a good time to think about the future and what you plan to do about it. To help this along, it is a good time to keep yourself and your impulses under control, because self-control will help you think more clearly and make your plans for the future stable and sound. This is also a good time to explore new spiritual possibilities and to open your mind to new ideas.

September: 4 of Wands (happiness; rest; success) + King of Pentacles (success in business and money)

~ You have come to a stage of rest and happiness after a long period of trials. A new love is also possible during this period. A masculine influence who might be domineering but who is reliable and wise will be present during this time. Success in money comes your way. Beware, however, of being stubborn, because this could result in the undoing of everything that you have worked hard to get.

October: Death (transformation) + 10 of Cups (goals reached; contentment)

~ A transformation or reinvention of the self is imminent. Unexpected events may require equally radical changes in yourself. Lies will be stripped away and you will only get the undiluted truth. Due to this, it is possible that you may reach the goals that you have long strived for, and is made even better by strong friendships or love. A happy family occasion is possible.

November: Queen of Cups (strong psychic feelings) + The Star (spiritual experiences)

~ A loving and caring female influence features strongly during this time. Strong psychic energies make you feel as if you are limited in your spiritual experiences and thus give you the strength to reach out and stretch your spiritual limits. Stretch your mind out of the box a little, and you will see things that you didn't see before. New opportunities also come your way.

December: The Hanged Man (suspended activity) + 10 of Swords (disruption; dark times)

~ The way you think and your way of life are being challenged. This time of inability to act is a good time to rethink your goals and your motivations for doing things. Take care to keep your feet firmly on the ground at all times. If you face the challenges unprepared and still undecided, you may face a long period of depression and dark times. Your whole life may be turned upside-down in the worst possible way unless you come to a decision about the issue.

Important Event: 3 of Pentacles (profitable skills; satisfaction) + The Fool (unexpected change of directions)

~ Your skills may lead you to a new way of life, something totally and radically different from what you or what others may have expected. While these changes may seem radical at first, they will eventually bring in a period of satisfaction with regards to your talents and the money that you are making out of using those talents in a new way. You may start contemplating breaking away from a prescribed path and try out a new one. An unplanned change of directions is possible.

--~*~--

Kai's reading

January: Queen of Swords (learning lessons; manipulation) + 3 of Cups (prosperity; success)

~ You will be faced with a lesson you didn't want to face before, but you will have to face it now. If you do so, success and prosperity could be on their way. A powerful feminine influence figures prominently during this time. If you are able to overcome your trials, you will reach a period of good luck and happiness. Your creativity reaches a peak during this time, and can be used to make you successful. Beware, however, of manipulating others for your own ends; you just might end up in a situation you did not want in the first place.

February: Knight of Cups (unexpected pleasant times) + 4 of Swords (rest; a pause)

~ After going through a rough time, this is a period of rest and recovery. During this time, you get to spend some time with someone you have admired and cared about for a long time. Happiness finds its way to you in the most unexpected of ways. Just remember that you have to come back to reality every now and then, that the real world is still out there and needs your attention. Likewise, do not forget to dream, because dreaming is just as important as doing.

March: 8 of Swords (restriction; fear) + Ace of Wands (new beginnings; new cycles)

~ During this time, you feel as if you are shackled and trapped, and are unable to get free, and you look to the outside world for help. Remember, however, that only you can free yourself. The world may show you what is wrong with you, but if you do not choose to help yourself, then no one will. But once you make the decision that you can free yourself, in spite of the fact that you may get hurt, a new period in your life will begin. Fresh ideas will come to you from unexpected places, and they can be of great benefit to yourself.

April: King of Cups (emotional events) + 10 of Cups (goals reached; contentment)

~ The presence of a loving and caring masculine influence is prominent during this time, along with the possibility of a journey over water. Moodswings are also possible during this time. On the other hand, goals are reached and there is a feeling of contentment about what has been accomplished. Everything is in balance and in harmony during this time. Friendships and love are strong during this time, and a family occasion is a potential bright spot during this time.

May: King of Pentacles (success in business and money) + 10 of Wands (struggle, loss)

~ Money is on its way, and a business endeavor made during this time may likely succeed. A masculine influence who is dominant but quite knowledgeable and reliable will feature prominently during this time. You may find yourself struggling to get to where you want to go, but do not give up. You may experience a loss that is relatively minor, but is painful just the same. Also, while being stubborn sometimes is well and good, it may also be a hindrance and only serve to delay you even further.

June: High Priest (facing karmic issues) + The Hermit (solitude)

~ Now is not a good time to go against the rules. Doing so right now could have dire consequences. Before you dive headlong into something, be sure that you think and re-think everything that is involved, lest you make a potentially disastrous decision. Pay close attention to your dreams and to visions that you may have during this period; they may point to things that you must deal with and take responsiblity for, but have been ignoring for some time. A teacher or guide may come up during this time to give you advice regarding your troubles. This may also indicate a time of withdrawal from certain issues that may involve you too closely, so that you will be able to get a better grasp of them and understand them more fully. Take a break - too much frantic activity is harmful both to your body and your soul.

July: Queen of Cups (strong psychic feelings) + The Hanged Man (suspended activity)

~ A feminine influence who is kind and loving figures prominently during this time. Use this time of strong psychic energies to come to a decision regarding an issue that has stagnated due to your inability to come to a firm decision. Your inability to make a decision should be a signal to you that it is time to reassess your goals and your methods of acquiring them. If it seems as if nothing is moving, it is most likely because you cannot come to a final decision, and thus, are unable to get any action done at all.

August: The Moon (dreams; intuition) + 4 of Pentacles (grasping at money)

~ Dreams, visions, and psychic insights come to you unlooked-for. Take care not to act on impulse. Watch out for people who are good at illusions, because they will be drawn into your circle, and beware of enemies who may not want to make themselves known. Get rid of your negative thoughts and illusions, because they are holding you back. Beware of deception, because it may be used against you. Also, beware of people who are greedy for money, or who are not good at handling money, because they will only cause more trouble for you than you may want at this point in time.

September: 2 of Wands (focus will and energy) + Ace of Pentacles (material success)

~ Money and material success are bound to come to you, but only if you focus yourself and apply your energy to specific tasks geared to achieving this. Someone or something from afar will come along to help you achieve a dream or a goal. Anything geared towards business or the honest acquisition of money may prove to be successful.

October: The Emperor (power; God influence) + The Sun (positive events)

~ Positive happenings are about to come your way in the form of good news, or perhaps material gain or recognition for your work. Make your leadership capabilities work for you to make your life move more smoothly. You may move into a position of power or prestige. Someone with a very powerful personality is influencing you. On the other hand, be careful, because you may be the one being manipulated.

November: Knight of Wands (sudden changes) + 8 of Wands (movement; urgency)

~ Barriers all around you drop, and you are suddenly given a freedom that you did not expect. This is a time of rapid movement, and due to this, rapid decisions are crucial. This also leads to sudden changes in yourself and in the situation around you. You must be quick on your feet if you wish to be able to cope and make the best of the situation. Positive things come flying towards you at a very quick pace. There is the possibility of a journey by air.

December: The Tower (discord; catastrophe) + 7 of Wands (difficulties, competition)

~ A shocking event comes your way, and turns your life upside-down. Setbacks and roadblocks make you feel frustrated and unable to move. You may feel as if your dreams have disintegrated into ashes. You will face competition for something or someone that is very important to you. Now is not the time to stand back and let the world take over: now is a time to fight back. Beware of adversaries who may stand in your way. Now is the time to stand up for what you believe is yours by right.

Important Event: 9 of Swords (great sadness; loss) + Knight of Pentacles (gains and losses)

~ There may be a period of deep sadness, misery, and depression. There is the possibility of a permanent loss of something valuable or the death of someone you hold dear, as well as the possibility of severe illness. There is either a loss or a gain in finances.

--~*~--

Sis' reading

January: 8 of Cups (lack of discipline) + King of Cups (emotional events)

~ Be careful, because you may be letting go of your goals too soon. Be careful, because you might be developing a ningas-cogon attitude. If you keep refusing responsibility, you will not be given a chance at happiness and contentment. A kind and loving male influence will feature prominently during this time. You may take a journey across water. There is the possibility of moodswings.

February: 3 of Pentacles (profitable skills; satisfaction) + Queen of Swords (learning lessons, manipulation)

~ Material gain can come from a hobby or a craft that you enjoy doing. This is also a good time to learn skills that could be used for profit. A powerful feminine influence features prominently during this time. This is a time when you are confronted with a lesson that you have been avoiding, but that you have to face sooner or later. Be careful with your manipulation; it is not the best thing to do at this point in time.

March: Page of Cups (message of love) + 8 of Wands (movement; urgency)

~ Fresh ideas and new ways of getting things done give you an optimistic outlook on the future. A message of love arrives, and there is the possibility of receiving a gift give in friendship. The walls that were once there disappear, and you gain the freedom to move as you will. Urgent, but positie messages start coming your way, and there is a chance of a journey by air.

April: 3 of Cups (prosperity; success) + Knight of Pentacles (gains and losses)

~ Success, good luck and happiness come into your life, along with a period of renewed creative energy. A celebration that may liven up your life may come during this period. There is the possibility of an increase or decrease with regards to money. If anyone has asked to loan money from you before, they may pay you back during this period.

May: Queen of Cups (strong psychic feelings) + Page of Wands (important news; foreign places)

~ There is the presence of a feminine influence with kind, loving and protective qualities during this period. Psychic energies run high, and they should be used to the fullest advantage to benefit you. A message of hope arrives when you need it most. There is also the arrival of important news regarding your studies. There is also the possibility of contact with foreign countries and people.

June: 4 of Cups (old memories; dissatisfaction) + King of Pentacles (success in business and money)

~ You should stop dwelling on old memories, because they are not doing you any good. You feel dissatisfied with your studies; this is an indication that you must step back and reassess your motivations and goals. A masculine influence who is domineering, but wise and reliable, is present during this time. You may become successful where money is involved. Beware, however, of being stubborn, because too much of it is only a hindrance to success.

July: The Sun (positive events) + Ace of Pentacles (material success)

~ Positive events coming your way make you feel free and happy. There is the possibility of material gain and recognition for your work, as well as the chance of good news coming your way. This period heralds the beginning of much material gain for you. With a little bit of effort, you can make this cycle of material gain continuous and steady for you.

August: 7 of Wands (difficulties; competition) + 10 of Cups (goals reached; contentment)

~ This is a period of hard times. There will be competition over someone or something that is very important to you, and may lead to disagreements or hard feelings. Adversaries are up against you, so be careful and take extra care to defend yourself against their attacks. This is not a time to stand aside; now is the time to fight for what you believe is truly yours and for what you believe is right. At the end of it all, there will be a period of happiness and contentment, with satisfaction for having accomplished all that you set yourself to accomplish.

September: Death (transformation) + The Emperor (power; God influence)

~ An unforseen event causes you to make radical changes in yourself, not just physically, but also mentally and spiritually as well. Illusions are removed and you are left with nothing but the bare truth. If you allow your leadership traits to come out, you can make your life move much more smoothly for you. Someone with a strong personality may be influencing you - but you must be careful, because you may end up being manipulated.

October: Knight of Cups (unexpected pleasant times) + The Star (spiritual experiences)

~ Someone you admire will drop by for an unexpected visit. There is the possibility of an outing with the someone you care for deeply. You feel a need to stretch beyond your comfort zone spiritually and try new things. New opportunities are presented to you, and it is up to you if you will take them or not.

November: Page of Pentacles (news of money) + 5 of Pentacles (loss; unpleasant differences)

~ Money comes unexpectedly. Prophetic dreams could be on your way, and it would be wise to pay close. This is a good time to study someting new and search for new knowledge. Watch out, because differences might arise between your friends or lover. This is a time of deep loneliness as well.

December: 4 of Pentacles (grasping at money) + 10 of Swords (disruption; dark times)

~ Beware of being greedy of money or of people who are greedy of money. Beware of trying to get things that are not yours to begin with, of taking the easy way with regards to getting things you want. There is the possibility of receiving gifts or even inheritance. There is the possibility of your plans getting disrupted or collapsing completely. Be prepared for a time to darkness in your life and soul.

Important event: Temperance (new perspectives) + Strength (courage; inner strength)

~ A period of creative inspiration, harmony and peace. Self-control and inner guidance will be beneficial for you. You must be able to adapt quicly to be able to meet the new circumstances that are coming your way. Your intuition will guide you on an issue, and you must not give up on your stand. Stand firm, and use your courage to face up to the difficulties that may be in your way.

--~*~--

Phew, done!

~ Harle

2003-12-31T18:54:00.000+08:00

Splurge

"HA~PPY!!!"

~ me at PowerBooks Live in Greenbelt 3, carrying a mountain of books in my arms towards the cashier

First, quizzie:

Morpheus

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

MORPHEUS!!! *remembers Neil Gaiman's Morpheus, and starts bouncing around*

--~*~--

I had roughly 4,000+ when all my Christmas money came in. Now I have only 124 bucks. Exactly. Where did all that cash go?

In the register of PowerBooks Live in Greenbelt 3.

I spent almost all my Christmas money there buying myself books to read over the next few days. A few are writing aids, while the others...well, let's just say I bought them because I wanted to expand my library ^_~.

Here follows a list of books that I have purchased.

1. Aliens and Alien Societies: A writer's guide to creating extraterrestrial life-forms by Stanley Schmidt, edited by Ben Bova ~ I bought this for two reasons: first, I'm taking up a course on sci-fi writing next term, and I figured that it would come in handy. Second, I bought it because the idea of character creation COULD come in handy when I wanted to develop races - even if my ideas are more about fantasy than about sci-fi. Then again, Anne McCaffrey made both sci-fi and fantasy meet with her Dragons of Pern series, so I figured, if she could do it, so could I.

2. The Writer's Idea Book by Jack Heffron ~ I bought this because I've got so many ideas in my head, but I don't know how to develop them. And for me as a writer, it's an especially sad thing to let ideas go to waste. Goddess only knows how many ideas have already rotted in my head and never been put down on paper...

3. Creating Charachters Kids Will Love by Elaine Marie Alphin ~ People have complained many times before that my chief weakness is character creation. I have a tendency to make them flat and not well-rounded - I am infamous for creating Mary-Sues. But with this book, I hope to be able to get my characters into shape - and hopefully find some way of making my ideas available as children's books since there's a bigger market for that than there are for adult fiction.

4. Fast Food Fiction: Short-short Stories to Go edited by Noelle Q. de Jesus ~ I've been wanting to purchase a copy of this since Mel introduced me to the joys of writing flash fiction and ever since I started writing my own. I intend to use the stories here are sort-of guidelines to making wonderful short-shorts.

5. The Eye of the World: Part One of the Wheel of Time Series by Robert Jordan ~ Have heard a lot about it, and now have the first book to it. If I like it, then I will slowly build up the rest of the series.

6. Sabriel and Lirael by Garth Nix ~ I've heard a lot about these two novels and have always wanted to read them, so I bought them. Between these two books and The Eye of the World, I will have enough fantasy novels to last me until the start of next term ^_^.

Ha~ppy...

~ Harle

2003-12-30T17:55:00.000+08:00

Nifty Little Things

*presses pause on the DVD remote control, and ogles the TV screen* "Ooooohhh..."

~ me upon seeing a small detail in Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings Extended DVD

I just noticed a few things in the extended version of Fellowship...

1. In the scene where Aragorn places back the shard of Narsil on the statue, if you pause the DVD and look REALLY closely at the background, you will actually see Aeglos, the spear of Gil-galad, propped up in a corner alongside a banner which could have been the very same one Elrond carried into battle as Gil-galad's herald.

2. Beside Aeglos, there is a painting. I think it depicts Gil-galad in the same way that the painting across from Narsil depicts Isildur. Judging from the shadowy shapes on the painting (I can't see all the details because the camera's too far away and the pillar gets in the way). It seems to be a picture of Gil-galad, with Orodruin flaming in the background, standing on a hill in Dagorlad, Aeglos in his hand, and his foot planted on the neck of an Orc - at least, it LOOKED like an Orc to me...

--~*~--

Mel has posted some of the chapters of her story Points of Five, a story I've been bugging her about for quite some time now.

Also, she's created the LJ community for the both of us called "Backstage Mayhem" - where we will post our snippets on my fic Windy Day. And I know she'll be bugging me about getting on with it and writing, but I need to see the Appendices of the Extended DVDs before I can get any proper work done. After all, there's a lot of things I have to edit in my original version of Windy Day before it can go up on the Internet...

~ Harle

2003-12-29T21:37:00.000+08:00

The Good, The Bad, and the Depressing

"Are you going to go swimming?"

*grumbles* "Can't. I have my period, remember?"

~ most frequent question (and matching answer) during the three-night-four-day stay at Boracay

THE DEPRESSING

1.) If anybody asks if I was able to go swimming while I was at Boracay, I have two words for you:

I DIDN'T.

I just HAD to get my period on the first day there, and so I couldn't go out and play in the water the next few days.

2.) There were not as many cute guys as I had hoped. There were a couple of celebrities (more on that later) but save for several Mark Ferguson lookalikes and a guy who looked EXACTLY like Mai's boyfriend, there was really no one of note. Most of them were either too fat (porkchop, anyone?) or too old - and this is coming from a girl who has a crush on a 43-year-old (give or take a year) Kiwi actor.

3.) Speaking of lookalikes, I kept on spotting Mark Ferguson lookalikes, but none of them were him. This is VERY depressing for a girl who will probably never get the chance to see her celebrity crush in the flesh, since he only goes to conventions held in New Zealand (his home country), Bonn (RingCon), and Toronto (The Gathering).

4.) Due to foul weather (which I will discuss later), I wasn't able to get as nice a tan as I had hoped. There goes my brand-name tan...

THE BAD

1.) Boracay weather is supposedly splendid during this time of year, more so than during the summer. I should know, since I have been to Boracay during both summer vacation (last year) and Christmas vacation (the last three times I was there, plus this year), and I do have to admit that Boracay during Christmas vacation is a helluva lot better than Boracay in the summertime.

However, it was just my luck that while we were staying there, a storm was passing through the Visayas area. While it didn't rain per se in Boracay (it was just drizzling), the winds were really strong, and really cold. Like I said, I wasn't able to go swimming because of my period, but I don't think I'd have wanted to get into the water anyway because of the coldness and strength of the wind. To make matters worse, the winds kicked up a lot of sand - something that's NOT very good for me because I've been trying to recuperate from tonsil-ache, and breathing in the sand only made things worse.

2.) I like walking barefoot on the sand - but only on the beachfront. While the backroad is lined with sand, in places the sand thins out or is filled with gravel. Really SHARP gravel. I was wearing Max's plastic slippers, but they didn't really fit me and were hell on my feet. So I ended up walking barefoot a lot just so I could avoid getting my soles bruises, but I had to pay my walking on a lot of sharp unidentified objects. I think I have a cut on the bottom of my right foot, but it isn't all that deep. It's far from my gut, so I'll live.

3.) I met a few of Max's friends on the first night we were there. Let me just say this: my sister is fluffy-headed, ergo, her friends are fluffy-headed as well.

4.) Max managed to lose one of the pages to my book Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. I am NEVER lending any of my novels to my sister EVER AGAIN.

5.) The food in the hotel we were staying at, the Le Soleil de Boracay, was HORRIBLE. The only places we could get good food was outside the hotel, and even then we had to walk long distances just to find it, like the famous crepes of Cafe Breizh (I think that's the spelling, don't remember anymore), or the pizza at Pizza di Baffo.

THE GOOD

1.) The SHOPPING. I found a lot of things - mostly jewelry - that I wouldn't be able to find here in Manila. Downside is that they were all rather expensive, but hey, better that I bought them there than having to come back here and not be able to find them. First was a lovely Celtic-style pentagram. It's rather big and will be very visible when I put it on - something I've been wanting since I saw Mel's witch-broom pentagram (the one that she hangs on the side of her card pouch).

Aside from that, I also found a pointed clear quartz pendant, which I plan to use both for my wand and for clothing. I also bought a rutilated quartz pendant, mostly as jewelry and quite possibly for wands. And because we bought so much, the owner of the shop where we made our puchases gave me a free shard of black tiger's eye. This one is DEFINITELY for use on a wand, for when I want to do binding or banishing magick.

I also managed to buy a new dragon pendant. This one is more Western-looking than the one that Mel gave me. Now I have an Eastern dragon and a Western dragon. All I need is a dragon pentagram and I will be set.

2.) The drinks. Mom let me try two drinks while we were there: the Singapore Sling (pineapple and orange juice with vodka) and the Mai-Tai (pineapple juice and rum or tequila - no one's really sure anymore). I didn't like the Singapore Sling very much because I was still able to taste the alcohol. The Mai-Tai, on the other hand...well, let's just say that I managed to down a glass of the Singapore Sling fast, but I slurped down the glass of Mai-Tai FASTER. Mostly because I couldn't taste the alcohol. I was half-tipsy after that, and couldn't stop giggling and talking as I followed my sister to the El Toro restaurant where she met up with her friends.

Amazingly, I didn't have a hangover the following day. Which is very, VERY good.

--~*~--

There was something there that I wanted, but couldn't buy because I thought that they were a little too frivolous already and I knew I wouldn't be able to take it home to begin with. One of the shops there was selling glass bottles in nice, pretty shapes. I was looking through the display, and I choked at one of the bottles.

It was shaped in the EXACT SAME STYLE AS THE PHIAL OF GALADRIEL FROM THE LOTR MOVIES!!! The stopper wasn't the same of course - if it had been the same I would have snapped up the bottle regardless of the price - but the shape was pretty much the same. And it came in three sizes: small, medium and large.

Speaking of LOTR, for the entire time that I was there, I managed to catch FOTR on HBO. And I ALWAYS finished it ^_^.

~ Harle

2003-12-25T15:00:00.000+08:00

Christmas, Sore Throats, and LOTR (so what else is new?)

"Please take Mr. Sparrow below, where he will contemplate all possible meanings of the phrase: Silent as the grave."

~ Commodore Norrington from Pirates of the Carribean

And yes, I AM contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase, "Silent as the grave," at the moment...

The best gift I could ever get for Christmas: have my voice taken away from me.

Damn my tonsils, they ache like hell.

And yes, I say all of that because they DO hurt like hell and I can barely talk.

--~*~--

Quizzies that I stole from various LJs and blogs (can't remember right now):

Compassion: You are there to share your sympathy
with others. People would consider you
affectionate and caring, and someone to look up
to.

Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla

*blinks* Am I really?

You are Form 3, Unicorn: The Innocent.

"And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to
go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice
given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went
inside and bled silver blood.. For her
misdeed, the world knew evil."

Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve
(Christian) and Pandora (Greek).
The Unicorn is associated with the concept of
innocence, the number 3, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the twilight sun.

As a member of Form 3, you are a curious
individual. You are drawn to new things and
become fascinated with ideas you've never come
in contact with before. Some people may say
you are too nosey, but it's only because you
like getting to the bottom of things and
solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to
have because they are inquisitive.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

A lot of people would agree, trust me...

--~*~--

Here is something I got off the TPTS ML, and was posted by Lorraine Kiamco. For all Viggo fans out there (*pokes Isis to get her attention).

Lord of everything
By Garry Maddox
December 22, 2003

This movie hunk is a shining overachiever who puts everyone else in the shade.

Viggo Mortensen is about to storm the cinema screen again in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. And, from past experience, female hearts will be beating just that bit faster at the thought of a bloodied Aragorn charging into battle on his steed.

Most actors would be pleased enough - no, absolutely thrilled - to be cast as a heart-throb in one of the biggest trilogies in cinema history. But apparently not Viggo.

Adoration is not enough. He has to spoil it for the rest of the male population by having an exhibition of his own landscape photographs to coincide with the world premiere in New Zealand. His photographs were called arty things such as Lost 1, 2, 3 and 4. These ones were taken while he was lost in the wilderness.

And Viggo appeared at a poetry reading for charity, possibly the only sold-out poetry reading in human history. He was well down the bill, but shrugged that off by saying there were some very good poets reading their work that night.

When composer Howard Shore conducted the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra in a Lord of the Rings concert with four choirs, Viggo joined in. Singing in Elvish.

Once, it was not that hard for an ordinary Australian male to appear cultured. If you knew STC didn't just stand for Sydney Turf Club. If you knew Peter Carey wasn't just an AFL umpire. If you knew Les Murray wasn't just a soccer commentator. That would do it.

But Viggo has raised the bar. There's a VM (Viggo Moment) guaranteed to take the rest of us down a peg. How can we hope to even get near competing with a man who, when invited to address the crowd in New Zealand, starts by speaking flawless Maori. While wearing a UNICEF shirt.

Any attempt to speak semi-knowledgeably about a film, book or play is bound to look feeble in comparison.

You want to show your tender side with your affection for a favourite pet? When Viggo finished shooting Lord of the Rings, he bought the two horses he'd been riding to take home. Trumped!

Want to appear relaxed and in control of a stressful situation? When Viggo met the world's media before the premiere, he padded around a five-star hotel in bare feet. Out-nonchalanting everyone.

Want to appear committed to your job? Well listen to VM #71. When Viggo was cast as a deaf mute on a film, he decided not to speak to anyone for the entire shoot. He scribbled notes to the crew and ordered food by pointing.

His dedication was such that he faxed his ex-wife (hah, a chink in the armour!) to say he'd call his eight-year-old son, but not speak. While young Henry chatted away, Viggo made breathing noises to indicate he was still there. Now that makes staying late at the office and working the odd weekend seem positively pathetic!

Want to seem well-rounded in female company by mentioning that you wrote a short story once or have a complete collection of Ramones albums?

Be wary: she may mention VM #157.

Viggo is releasing a CD (along with guitarist Buckethead and guest appearances from Viggo's actor friends), of music, spoken wordplay and aural collage. Called Pandemoniumfromamerica - yes, that's one creatively long word - it's reputedly "a sonic snapshot of 21st century disorientation and dissent". And he's dedicated it to Noam Chomsky, no less.

Want to enhance your working class credentials by mentioning that you do a little home renovating or can change a tyre? While living in Denmark, Viggo (VM #221) worked as a truck driver.

Not only is he passably good-looking - OK, quite good-looking, OK, he was named one of the 50 most beautiful people in the world by People magazine last year - Viggo mostly appears in movies with cool directors, such as Peter Weir (Witness), Jane Campion (The Portrait of a Lady), Sean Penn (The Indian Runner), Brian De Palma (Carlito's
Way) and Ridley Scott (G.I. Jane).

When cast as a painter in A Perfect Murder, he did his own murals for the film. He speaks Spanish and Danish, as well as English. He doesn't own a television, but he does have a publishing house.

If you're female, you're no doubt wondering where you can get Viggo's phone number, even if he's only breathing strangely down the line. And you're probably thinking that every male you know seems like Homer Simpson in comparison.

But what's Viggo really like? Would he honestly be the answer to any woman's prayers?

I say no. And I'm prepared to suggest he'd be the stuff of nightmares rather than dreams. The bare feet around the house, the time all those interests must take. And - this is a big call for someone who has never even met the guy - there's a certain neediness about all these Viggo Moments. And an earnestness. Lighten up, Viggo!

The rest of us might look like shop-worn merchandise as you gaze at Aragorn on screen, but, hey, we're flesh-and-blood. We're real.

Have to go. Time for my Maori lesson. We're studying Chomsky today.

Uh...the rants of an extremely frustrated person who cannot seem to match up to Viggo the Renaissance Man? I mean, let's face it: Viggo IS one of the few Renaissance Men of our era. He acts, he sings, he writes, he plays an instrument, he's a polyglot... I wouldn't be surprised to find out that he knows how to cook.

But this guy DOES have a point: all of these things might point to a certain need in Viggo to feel NEEDED and praised and supported, etc., etc., yadda-yadda-yadda. Maybe in real life, he'd be a nightmare.

Then again, maybe he wouldn't. It all depends on the girl, right?

And besides, I only borrow him for fics. Those are just imaginings, after all, and it seems somewhat improbable at the moment that the situations I have concocted in my fics for Viggo and Isis will come true, though I would think it very interesting - as well as somewhat scary - if the situations DID come true.

--~*~--

Leaving for Boracay tomorrow, and I am somewhat afraid of putting on that new bathing suit I bought - or rather, that my sister and my dad chose, made me try on, and THEN bought. Mom is currently running around right now like a headless chicken, nagging my sister and I when all we want right now is to relax, and I do have to admit, it's annoying the hell out of me.

I'm really considering taking my mother's caffeine and tobacco sources hostage...

I won't be able to post a single thing until I get back from the beach, so this place will be quite silent for a time. But I promise that when I get back, I will try to put up as much as I can about how I spent my four-nights-and-three-days in Boracay ^_^.

Wind, sun, sand, and gloriously clean water ^_^... I am headed for Paradiso, people...

--~*~--

Oh, and one more thing before I go:

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!!

~ Harle

2003-12-21T22:05:00.000+08:00

Of Spanish Food, LOTR Weaponry and Armor, and a Busted Water Line

"Come with me, I want to show you something."

*blinks at Dad* "Eh?" *follows anyway*

*Dad grins, and points to the shop window of a shop called Montage* "Look."

*looks, and eyes become as wide as plates, while jaw drops open* "Oh. My. GOD!!!" *starts jumping up and down upon seeing the sculptures and busts of various characters from the LOTR movies* "COOOOOOOOOLLL!!!!"

~ conversation between me and my dad when he showed me the shop window of Montage

From henceforth people, follow this simple equation:

Me + excellent Spanish food + Powerbooks (the Barnes & Nobles of the Philippines) + a shop selling the busts and full-body sculptures of characters from the LOTR movies + a book featuring the weaponry from all three LOTR movies = ONE SQUEALING, HYPERACTIVE LITTLE GIRL.

As a pre-Christmas thing, my aunt on my father's side decided to treat all of us out to some good Spanish food at Casa Armas, which reputedly makes some of the best lengua (ox tongue in gravy sauce, for the people who are unfamiliar with this dish) in the Metro. Aside from the lengua, we also ordered their specialty paella, callos and roast chicken (which I found a little bland). We also ordered a lot of appetizers like gambas al ajillo and calamares.

Since the food looked good (and smelled good besides), I just couldn't help myself and had to eat. A LOT. Between me and my cousin Mikko (who's a very hearty eater - it shows in his plumpness), the two of us managed to decimate half the roast chicken, one third of the paella, several slices of lengua and more than our fair share of the appetizers, particularly the calamares and tapa. Before people panic and think I ate rice with all of that, I didn't. I knew that I was going to be eating a lot. Besides, there was paella, which is a rice dish, so I didn't order rice for myself anymore.

After we had stuffed ourselves, Mom and I went over to Powerbooks. I took a peek at most of the books there, and was absolutely delighted to find several Sandman comics available, along with illustrated versions of Stardust and hardbound copies of The Dream Hunters. What tempted me the most out of these three was the illustrated version of Stardust. I read the unillustrated version, and while I found the story gorgeous, I always wondered what it would be like to read the illustrated one.

Aside from the three mentioned above, I was also sorely tempted to buy the following:

1. An Atlas of Middle-Earth ~ features several full-color maps of various areas in Middle-Earth. Because I am a fan of Tolkien and for fic-writing purposes.

2. The first book of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series ~ because I have ALWAYS wanted to read it.

3. Fastfood Fiction ~ because flash fiction is the ONLY original fiction that I write as of late.

I didn't get to buy any since Mom told me that we had to go soon, but then Dad came up and compensated for it by taking me to Montage and showing me the figurines there. Of course, I went bonkers, and started looking for a Gil-galad figurine. Turning nothing up, I started looking for a Nazgul figurine, but nothing there either. The closest I came to Gil-galad and the Witchking (both of whom are portrayed by Mark Ferguson in the movies) was the small bust of an Elf from the Last Alliance, and a bust of one of the Nazgul's horses.

At the least, I came out of that store with a book entitled The Lord of the Rings: Weaponry and Warfare by Chris Smith with a foreword by Christopher Lee. Dad bought the book for me as a prize for hauling in good grades at the end of this term. More on the contents of the book some other time ^_~.

Hehehe...my dad REALLY knows what his little girl likes...

--~*~--

Currently suffering because one of the major water pipes was busted up, thus depriving the entire Paranaque area of water.

Still, that isn't enough to dampen my spirits *grins while she leafs through her new book*.

--~*~--

While I was typing this, Mac texted me, and we were texting each other left and right. This is the most interesting part of the text convo:

After asking me where I lived...

MAC: Wala, gusto ko sana kita yayain sa G4 tomorrow eh, have lunch or something... *smiley face* [Nothing, I just wanted to invite you to go to G4 (Glorietta 4) tomorrow, have lunch or something...]

ME: Um...I'll see muna sa mom ko. Sino pa kasama kung ganon? [Um...I see first with my mom. Who else is coming, if that's the case?]

MAC: No, ok lang. Block lang naman eh. And it's more like a date thingy. Okay lang. Wala ka rin namang pasok tomorrow eh. *smiley face* [No, it's okay. It's just the block. And it's more like a date thingy. It's okay. You don't have classes tomorrow anyway.]

ME: You're asking me out on a date?

MAC: Er...ammm...yeah...

*utters high-pitched squeals of delight, then crosses her fingers in hopes that her mom will allow her to go*

~ Harle

2003-12-20T11:29:00.000+08:00

A Great Vacation for All

"What's your grade?"

*pauses, peeks at card, and then jumps into the air* YYYYYEEEEEEESSSSS!!! 3.5 BAY-BEH!!! OOOH-YEAH!!! I STAY IN THE PROGRAM!!!"

~ me talking to Mel yesterday during course card distribution

It's going to be a great vacation for me and Mel.

Doomsday, otherwise known as course card distribution for 2nd. Term 2003-2004, has come and gone, and we both managed to pull through. Mel was worried about her grade in Introduction to Economics, and I was worried about my grade in Introduction to Fiction. I needed to get at LEAST a 2.5 as an average of all my grades in my majors subjects to stay in the program. I wasn't so worried about my grades in Critics, Advanced Writing, and Spanish One, but I was DEFINITELY worried about my grade in Introductions to Fiction. I got only a flat 1.0 for my midterm in that subject, and I didn't think I'd be able to pull it up all the way to a 3.5. I would have been grateful to get a 2.0, hoping that the rest of my subjects would balance out the grade and help me scrape by with a 2.5 average, but I didn't have to worry about that in the end ^_^.

Mel, on the other hand, needed to pass her Introduction to Economics subject because if she didn't, her parents would force her to pull out of the hockey team - something she just cannot allow to happen. Fortunately, she got a 1.5 in that subject - slightly above 1, which is passing by the skin of one's teeth. That's enough to allow her to stay on in the team ^_^. So three cheers for you honey ^_^!

For those who don't understand the grading system, 4.0 is the highest, and 1.0 is the lowest passing grade in my school. 0.0 is, of course, failing. My grades so far include a 4.0, two 3.5's and one 3.0 for my majors subjects. I got another 4.0 for J.P. Rizal Studies, and a 1.5 for Philosophy of the Person. I have a good excuse for the 1.5: my prof sucked, preferred to let the students do all the reporting instead of actually teaching, and was gone almost half the time anyway.

At any rate, I am one happy cat ^_^.

--~*~--

I've got something new on the sidebar: what Mel calls her "Daily Two," but what I call...well, whatever. What I do is that I pull two cards from my Tarot deck, and take them as the "daily advice from the cosmos." It's pretty good, actually...

--~*~--

With everything in place for me, I am very, very happy. In return for my good grades, my mom has promised me a shopping spree in my favorite store: Tower Records/Powerbooks in Glorietta, or even better, Music One and the adjoining Powerbooks in Greenbelt 3.

Speaking of Greenbelt 3, we're going out to lunch there tomorrow. Someplace called Casa Alba. I heard about it from my professor in Spanish One, and he said that it serves some of the best Spanish cuisine in the Makati area - and that's saying something.

--~*~--

This is depressing. Almost everyone I know online (with the exception of Blake, whom I know from outside the Net) has already seen ROTK. The thing doesn't show here until January because of the stupid Metro Manila Filmfest.

This is annoying. VERY annoying.

What's even more annoying is the fact that Mel has the extended version of TTT and she can't bring it out of her house. I'd have loved to go over to HER house just so I can watch it, but I can't because my parents won't allow me.

Even if it is Christmas vacation already.

First no ROTK, then no extended TTT.

*grumbles*

Guess I'll just have to content myself with Hero for now...

--~*~--

I am in desperate need of a copy of Anito. I don't know where to get it though. According to Do'aho, it's sold out.

Now THAT is annoying.

~ Harle

2003-12-18T14:45:00.000+08:00

Shifting Theme Songs

I need love
The kind that makes you wanna live
The kind that makes you wanna breathe
The kind that makes you feel too much

~ quoted from the chorus of "I Need Love" by Laura Pausini

I've changed theme songs.

Again.

I can't help it, really. I think I've had enough time to recover - sort of - from what happened with me and Mac, so I guess that means a change of theme songs. My new theme song is "I Need Love" by Laura Pausini:

I'd cross the desert to be where you are
All the things I do to be close to you
A million miles wouldn't seem that far
I'd go anywhere just to win your heart
But wherever this leads
There's something I need

I need love
The kind that makes you wanna live
The kind that makes you wanna breath
The kind that makes you feel too much
And I need you
To help me find a better way
And I guess you never thought you'd hear me say
I need love
I need love

And when I see you I just lose my mind
You're the everything I thought I'd never find
Must be an angel watching over me
With a little luck we're gonna make you mine
Cos I wanna believe (I wanna believe)
In all we can be (all we can be)

I need love
The kind that makes you wanna live
The kind that makes you wanna breath
The kind that makes you feel too much
And I need you
To help me find a better way
And I guess you never thought to hear me say

And oh
I will catch you when you fall
Be the greatest love of all
I promise to be
If you give me what I need, I need

I need love
I need you

The kind that makes you feel
The one that makes you wanna live
The one that makes you wanna breath

And I need you
To help me find the better way
And I guess you never thought you'd hear me say
I need love I need love
I need love baby
I need love

I'd cross the desert
I'd cross the desert to be where you are

And I guess I do need that kind of love. Not that I've had any experience in that department, but it would be nice. Still, as of now there are no takers, so...*scuffs toe on the ground*.

I doubt if there ARE any takers at all...

~ Harle

2003-12-17T09:20:00.000+08:00

Hauling in Half the Grocery

"Where do you want me to put this?"

"In the fridge, if you can."

"There's too much in there. It won't fit."

"Fine. Stash it in the pantry somewhere. We'll just chill it on Christmas Eve. Just make sure you don't shake it up too much."

~ conversation between me and my mom over a bottle of champagne purchased for Christmas Eve

First, quizzies that I nabbed from the people on Anand's friends page on the LJ:

David Wenham should be the father of your baby.
Sexy David is an Aussie dream come true, as will be
your new arrival. Look forward to beautiful
days down under, and maybe even vacations with
the Crocodile Hunter family, the Irwins!

Whose BABY from the Lord of the Rings cast should you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

*chokes and splutters* Mel...you remember that dream I was telling you about before...? Well take a look at that thing up there...

And just for kicks...

Your match is Sam! The traditional hobbit. One who
will dote upon you and give you everthing you
could ever want. A home and many little hobbits
to take care of! This wonderfull man will care
for you untill the day you die, his devotion is
for you and you only.

What Hobbit are you destined to marry?
brought to you by Quizilla

Awww...*grins*... Still, I prefer my mate to be a little taller, if you know what I mean *looks at David with a look that's a cross between horror and interest*

--~*~--

With Christmas only a few days away, my mom and I have been busy putting together the food and drinks that will be served on Christmas Eve. Here in the Philippines, people stay up very late on December 24 and on to four or five the following day, the 25th. Most of these people will have attended the last Mass of the Misas de Gallo, which are masses held VERY early in the morning starting on December 16. After the mass, they head home and have the Noche Buena, the Christmas feast.

In my family, since we're not all Catholics (my sister and dad are Catholic, my mom and grandmother are Born-Again Christians, and I'm Wiccan - though the rest of the family doesn't know that), we opt not to go to the mass and just stay at home. At around ten or eleven in the evening, we drive over to my other grandmother's (the mother of my mom) condo unit and stay there with the other members of the mother's side of my family. New Year's, on the other hand, is reserved for the father's side of my family.

But in preparation for the Noche Buena in my grandma's condo, we have to do our own fair share of cooking and preparing. Which is why yesterday, my mom came back with a whole mountain of groceries, including three bottles of champagne: one was for Christmas Eve, and the other was for New Year's Eve. Aside from that, she also bought large quantities of the following:

1. whipping cream and powdered sugar ~ for making the topping I use for my chocolate mousse - my personal contribution to the Noche Buena

2. baking ingredients and chocolate chips ~ for making the chocolate chip cookies that I will make - more for myself than for anyone else

3. lots of different kinds of cheese and plenty of butter ~ both for cooking and for serving at the table as appetizers

4. olive oil, tomato sauce, and herbs ~ for the extremely delicious spaghetti sauce my mom makes every Christmas

5. five spring chickens ~ two will be marinated in a special sauce on the 22nd, and left to marinate until Christmas Eve, when they will be baked in the oven with plenty of garlic, a dash of soy sauce and a drizzling of olive oil. The other three will be stuffed with garlic, onions, some ginger and a few sprigs of rosemary, drizzled with olive oil and then turbo-roasted. The drippings will be collected and served as is at the table as a sauce.

6. a couple kilos of beef ~ for my mom's Asian-style beef stew - the one that takes eight hours to cook right.

7. several large bangus [milkfish] bellies ~ these will be marinated in a mixture of soy sauce, vinegar, and garlic, and then stewed in the same marinade.

8. bottles of crab aligue [roe/fat] ~ heated in a pan with garlic, it makes a great pasta sauce, or even eaten with rice

There are other things too that we didn't get yet because we could only buy them two days prior to the 24th, like:

1. crabs ranging from medium size to tiny crablets ~ the bigger crabs will be stewed in a lovely sauce my grandmother makes out of coconut milk and other good things, while the crablets will be breaded, deep-fried, and served with vinegar dip at the table.

2. tahong [mussels] ~ these are boiled for a while to open them, and then are topped with plenty of butter, cheese and garlic, and then are baked on the half shell.

And there was also something that we could only buy on the 24th itself:

1. slabs of tuna steak ~ we cut these up and serve them as sashimi and sushi

*eyes list of food* Just looking at all of that makes me hungry already...

~ Harle

2003-12-16T10:31:00.000+08:00

I Just LOVE Eros Pinoy

The tongue: fluent traveller
tourist of the seven leagues and seven seas.
Brief stopover in Sngapore, then off to Bombay.
Where to from there, stockinged conquistador?
The manroot points north, now east, now west.
Asleep, it points south
leaving a silver train of sweet plunder
up the steep streets of Machu Picchu
down the hanging gardens of Jerusalem.
Sandpaper buds bristle with fresh anticipation.
What imminent feast now rides the leeward wind?
Season of the durian, night of the spices.
Parting the seaweeds in the English Channel
your hog nose sniffs out the perfumed ruby
nestled in a mat of caviar, crown jewel of Egypt
red as pomegranate, plump as the pearl of Celebes
shining between the pink lips of the scallop shell.
Thus, hanging by the thumbs and hair
angled knees floating in Arabian air
one foot in Manila, the other in Kashmir
the carnival world turns and turns
in love's merry-go-round
straddled upon the rocking axis
of the Rock of Gibraltar.

~ "Around the World" by Jaime An Lim, from the collection Eros Pinoy

First, quizzes. This one I filched from Mai's LJ:

Guys Like That You're Charming

You're the girl most guys can't get out of their heads

Even if they met you on a bad hair day :-)

You just seem to "click" with everyone you meet

So even if a guy forgets about you for a second... his friends haven't!

What Do Guys Like About You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

*giggles* Oh, I wish, I wish...

This one I nicked off Anand's LJ:

Your confusion. complete and utter bewilderment.
what is going on?why?who?How? a few queswtions
that plague your life maybe. DOn't worry to
much. just try to stay calm and dont THINK to
much about everything!!

Which pure emotion are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*shrugs* The World was born from Chaos, and even within Chaos there is Order.

--~*~--

I am currently leafing through my photocopied copy (redundant Harle, VERY redundant) of Eros Pinoy, a collection of erotic poetry and art by the best the Philippines has to offer in those departments. My parents (well, my mom and grandmother, at least) are still quite conservative with regards to what I read, and when I brought home the book (I borrowed the original from a friend and then had the entire thing photocopied, breaking copyright laws along the way) my mom was on my throat in a flash. But I had one of the most wonderful and handiest excuses that comes with being a Lit Major:

"It's required reading, Mom. I have to write a report on it."

*cackles with glee* And Mom couldn't do a thing about it. Dad had no comment (he's the liberal one around here when it comes to reading material, doesn't really complain about what books I read), and Lola [grandma] couldn't so much as squeak. Ah, "required reading" is such a magical phrase...

The book just goes to show that Filipino artists are not dry and frigid at all. Nope, they're simply repressed. In a country where the censors are still controlled by the Catholic Church (let's face it, people: the Philippines is still very much a theocracy and not the democracy we'd like to think it is), it's surprising that the book got through unscathed. Still, it was a very, very happy thing for repressed people like me, who need SOME form of outlet for when hormones run rampant - in an artistic and tasteful way, of course.

And what can get more artistic than poetry? The nice thing about erotic poetry is that you have to bend your mind a little, stretch it, so that you can grasp the meaning of the poem. And when you do that, you encompass not just the sex, but the other little details that go beyond it.

And sometimes, you have to look REAL hard to see why a poem is even erotic at all. Take "Dinner at the Hei Chin Rou" by Alice M. Sun-Cua, for example:

Tonight
in this dragon red restaurant
our eyes meet
over braised pork loins
with shallots.

Oblivious to the
steam around us,
we cup bowls
of white rice
and quietly dip
wooden chopsticks
into succulent flesh
dripping with soy
and sesame oil.

As we work our way
into soft sinews
and tendons,
burying our teeth
into herbed crevices
how we wish
we could contain
long absences
in porcelain dishes
like these.

I raise a trembling cup
of fragrant oolong
to my lips,
knowing very well
that nights like these,
liquid and silken,
do not end.

If I had read this outside of the collection, I really wouldn't see anything erotic about it, and it would have taken me quite a while to figure out that it was, indeed, erotica.

As you can probably tell, the two poems I mentioned above are among my favorites.

Another favorite is "Witch's Dance" by Marra Pl. Lanot:

Nothing has happened yet
But already you've watched
The river in my eyes,
Already your hands know
The wind in my hair,
Every slope and valley
On my nape, down my back,
Around my breasts
The orb encircling my waist and hips
As well as the smooth, pink
Sand of my thighs
Where sea waves froth.

Already you know the ocean's
Scent in my ears
And margarita in my tongue.
We are like children playing with fire
With all the passion of curiosity,
Two innocents in a witch's dance
That never end

*sighs* I wish I could write as well as these people can... But I'm not really a poet, more of a prose and essay writer... Still, that has never stopped me from admiring the poet's craft ^_~.

~ Harle

2003-12-14T18:06:00.000+08:00

Christmas Bazaars are Bad for my Health...

"Ack! Ugh! Urk! Wheeze!"

~ most frequent sounds squeezed out from me while walking through the Christmas bazaar at the World Trade Center

This. Is. The last. Time. I am. Going. To. A. Bazaar. During. Christmas. Season.

And I have just one thing to say about the whole thing:

NEVER AGAIN!

I've just gotten back from the Christmas bazaar at the World Trade Center, and I swear that I am NEVER going to set foot in a bazaar like that for the rest of my life unless it's a book bazaar or a bazaar for all things Pagan. Then again, if there were bazaars like that, I don't think there'd be as many people as there were at the bazaar today.

With Christmas just a few weeks away (two, if I'm not mistaken...), everyone's rushing to go and make last-minute purchases of Christmas presents. Me, I'm more or less finished with my purchases - I only have to get the boys their Christmas gifts, but I intend to get them from Boracay while I'm there during the last few days of December. The only purchases I made at the bazaar were blouses: two racerback blouses - one white with a stylized lotus design on the front, and a black one with a gray dragon - and one black three-fourths blouse with a silver design on the front. There were, however, several things that I would have just LOVED to buy, but couldn't, like:

A dagger with a wood-and-silver sheath and a cobra hilt ~ There was actually a booth at the bazaar that sold stuff like swords and daggers. I was taking a look at the daggers, hoping to get one as an athame. And I nearly bought one too - there was one that had a cobra around the hilt - but I balked at the price: 5,000 smackers just for the dagger.

An actual short sword with a scimitar-style blade and a dragon hilt/handle ~ This one I found in the same booth where I spotted the dagger. It was mounted on a frame and hung on the wall. It had a scimitar-style blade - meaning that it was rather wide and curved - and the hilt was a Chinese dragon. Very beautiful, and, I believed, also quite heavy. Just looking at it made me wonder whether I could carry it or not. There was also an actual longsword there, with a brass hilt, but it didn't have the same appeal to me as the dragon-sword did. I didn't ask the price of the swords anymore - if the dagger was already 5,000, then the swords were probably twice or thrice that price.

Bracelets made of semi-precious stones ~ I've been trying to find an amber-and-jet bracelet, as well as a pendant of clear quartz. I did find the clear quartz, but I didn't buy because it was too expensive. And while I didn't find the amber-and-jet bracelet that I wanted, there were others that were also very beautiful. But, like the pendant, they were too damn expensive.

An actual quartz crystal sphere ~ While I'm not really into scrying, I would really want to try it, and wandered around taking a look at the crystal spheres that were on sale. I managed to find a lovely one that, while rather small, was very, very clear and felt comfortable in my hand. It was going for 250 from an original price of 480, and came with the stand, but I didn't want to risk buying it and have my dad (who was the one accompanying us at the time) asking me why did I buy a crystal ball.

I kept a sharp eye out for pentagrams and dragon rings, and armbands, but came up with nothing. There was, however, this stall that was selling lovely Egyptian stuff, and I checked it out in the hopes of finding small statues of Isis and Osiris to put on my desk/altar, but found none. They were, however, selling lovely glass phials used for the smoking of...hashish, I think. Not sure what was smoked, exactly, but my sister did tell me that they were used for smoking some sort of illegal drug. I would have bought the phials if only for holding liquids during rituals, but then my dad would know what I was buying and he'd wonder if I was doing drugs or something.

In short: there were things I wanted to buy but couldn't, and the things I did buy weren't all that high on my list of wants. Well, except maybe for the dragon blouse, but I have enough dragon blouses already and I dont' really need another one.

To my dear sisters: unless one of you is with me, I am NEVER setting foot in a bazaar ever again!

~ Harle

2003-12-13T10:47:00.000+08:00

Apologies and Plans for the Holidays

"Sis, I'm sorry, but the part about us expecting a breakdown from you isn't quite...nice, coming from you. I'm sorry if I'm a bit sensitive these days, but I kinda don't like being thought of as someone who underestimates people's capabilities.

Sorry, sis. I'm just not n the best of moods lately."

~ quoted from Mai's comment on my entry concerning the status with Mac

Sorry for that undue comment, sis. I kind of thought you people were expecting me to break down, knowing just how attached I am to the man... On the other hand, thank you (and you too) for showing confidence in my ability to handle myself and the situation. Goddess only knows how little approval I get in THAT department...

--~*~--

Anyway, this term has (unofficially) come to an end, even if I still have an oral exam in my Spanish One class next Tuesday, and even if I have to pick up my grades next Friday. Since it IS the Christmas vacation and I have a lot of time to myself before school starts again next year, I have made a list of things to do this Christmas vacation:

Go to a spa and get a nice massage ~ Yep, midway through the term, as stress started to build up, I realized that when it was all over, nothing would be nicer than to have all that stress worked out of me while I lay down on a spa table and relaxed. I was going to ask my mom to see if she could arrange it for me (even if I had to pay for it myself from the savings I'd managed to accumulate from my allowance), and out of the blue she simply offered the deal to me. And she said she'd arrange for an appointment at the Suriya Spa, which is one of the best spas in the Makati area. I intend to have it done next Wednesday, so if anyone wants to speak to me on that day, check with me again because I might be in the spa when you call or text ^_~.

Finish my current game on Neverwinter Nights ~ Currently, I am in the closing part of the second chapter, in the Arcane Tower, actually, and working my way up to the topmost level. I've been having a very good game, incidentally, and I can't wait to finally bring the whole thing to a close. And then I can contact Do'aho and ask if I can borrow his CD of the expansion for this game and see just how far I can REALLY go.

Finish my games in several Playstation RPGs ~ I intend to wrap up my games in Legend of Legaia, Tales of Destiny 2, Grandia, and Suikoden 2. I am at various points in each game, though I think I am further along in Suikoden 2 than in the others.

Start new games in several Playstation RPGs ~ I want to start decent games in FF Tactics, Lunar 2, and (if I can get my hands on my cousin's CD) Final Fantasy IV. I know, I might have complained about FF Tactics being so hard, but it's only because I'm unused to the gameplay. Strategy games were never really my cup of tea, as many of my cousins know, though they have noticed my uncanny knack for PC RPGs like Neverwinter Nights and Anito (the latter I played at a cousin's house after a trial run at school). They're annoyed that I can easily pick up on how to maneuver my way through these games, especially in games like Anito.

Get myself a copy of Anito ~ I managed to go through the test run of this thing while they were doing the demo at school, and I did like it quite a bit. The learning curve was a touch steep, especially with regards to the controls and attacking. After all, I was bred on Neverwinter Nights, wherein you just click to hack at something. Still, the novelty of a Filipino-based PC RPG holds a lot of appeal for me, and the graphics weren't all that bad, either.

Continue work on several fics ~ I know, I've been forced to neglect my fanfics, mostly for school reasons, but now that vacation's started I can get back to work ^_^. My current pet projects at the moment are War of Daenova and The Forgotten Lands of Arda. The latter is just being written down on paper, and I have no intentions of posting it yet. It's supposed to be a fic dedicated to April, one of my dearest friends from high school. War of Daenova, on the other hand, is making slow, painful progress, mostly because I'm stuck in Moria and don't really know how to proceed from there, especially considering what I have planned...

Get a henna tattoo at Boracay ~ As most of the Pan the on knows, I am going to Boracay on December 26 - a few days after Christmas itself, and will be staying there until the 28th. In that span of time I will hopefully - HOPEFULLY - get a nice tan and a dragon tattoo on my back. I already have the design that I want, and will be printing it out to take with me to Boracay. I also plan to get the boys' belated Christmas pressies from there, too.

*looks at plans* Wow, that's a lot. I hope I'll be able to accomplish most of them, at any rate...

It's going to be a busy, busy vacation for me ^_~.

~ Harle

2003-12-12T09:51:00.000+08:00

And That's That

"I'm sorry, but it's really complicated."

~ what Mac told me when I asked him what was going to happen to the two of us

That's it. It's officially over. My hopes for Mac have finally been killed, because really, nothing's going to happen.

He said so himself.

I asked him yesterday what he planned to do about this...thing...that we had going on between the two of us, and he said that he just wasn't prepared for it. He mentioned something about fear, and something else, but that line up there was the one that really got to me.

And now I know: nothing is going to happen.

Some people expect a break down from me, but I won't. I cried enough tears during my birthday; there's nothing left for me to shed.

Still doesn't stop it from hurting, though.

But I can't force Mac to do anything against his will. If he thinks that we're better off like this, if he thinks that things are better off in limbo - no matter how uncomfortable it might be - then I guess I will have to abide by his decision. I did all I could. That will have to be enough.

Sometimes, though, I can't help but wonder whether what we will have from henceforth WILL be enough. There will always be that niggling feeling - both on his part and on mine - that things could have been much better if we just let ourselves go. We'll both wonder if things could have been better in the long run if we just said the words and be done with it. After all, that's all I'm waiting for: the WORDS that will say everything is in its proper place, that god's in his heaven, and all's right in the world.

But I guess that will never come to pass...

~ Harle

2003-12-08T11:13:00.000+08:00

Dragon Flight

"We all have our own lessons to learn. Sometimes we're afraid, and we avoid them. But that should not always be the case. If you take small steps at a time, going further and further into the fire at every venture, then you will one day dance amongst the flames as if dancing upon the cold swirls of clouds and mists."

~ quoted from Lord Abelard, one of my guardian dragons, during my initiation

I FINALLY HAVE THE CELTIC TAROT DRAGON DECK!!!!

And it certainly pleases the heck out of me, since I can now do Tarot readings again, as well as draw more completely on the powers of the dragons who have become a part of my life.

--~*~--

A realization: lots of dragons have distinct personalities, and they don't always coincide with their color. I've given descriptions of them before, so I will only mention their names.

Khayeseadae (Khaye, as I sometimes call her) has a somewhat serious mien that one does not expect in dragons her age. If anyone wants to know how old she is, I'm sorry but I can't tell you, since I haven't bothered to ask. I don't think I'm THAT close to them yet that I have the right to ask.

Sek, on the other hand, has just reached his maturity but he still acts like a dragonet, as Khayeseadae derisively snorts. He's a fun-loving guy, with the tendency to play practical jokes. He says I'm lucky I can escape his pranks because he's too big to be let into the house, and has to stay outside in the open lot behind the house.

This is from the convo I heard them having this morning, when Mel asked if Khaye would like to be included in her story Hover By. Mel needed to know personality traits, so I asked the two dragons to describe themselves. This is what I got:

Khaye: Don't listen to Sekharion [Sek's full name], he's just a huge bag of hot air, and he doesn't even know how to breathe fire yet! He's an irresponsible oaf, that's what he is.

Sek: Listen to yourself talk, Khayeseadae! I can't breathe fire yet, but when I learn, you're the first I'll torch! You're just an uptight pipsqueak!

And...who said that dragons are dignified and proper? Of my three guardians, that description only applies to Lord Abelard.

~ Harle

2003-12-06T19:29:00.000+08:00

Quizzes, Discovering THE Deck, and Ranting about Incompetent Teachers

"You look good."

~ most frequent comment when I dropped by my old high school today

First, quizzes:

you are lightcyan
#E0FFFF

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.

Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working.

Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Quite true, quite true...

*snerks*

Right...

I'm getting there. I don't suck, but I've got a ways to go.

Mmm hmm...

--~*~--

I found the Celtic Dragon Tarot deck that I've been wanting for Christmas. It was on the bottom shelf of the Powerbooks branch at Tower Records in Glorietta. I wanted to buy it right there and then, but since it cost a whopping Php 1929 (almost 1930), I certainly had to ask permission before I used my card for the purchace. I really, REALLY want it, but of course since I had to inform my mom that I wanted to buy it, she was a bit wary. But since I had enough money stashed away (most of which I got because I was starving myself at school...), she agreed to let me buy it. I currently have it under reserve, and should be able to get it by Dec. 9.

I really, really, REALLY want that deck...

*goes all Gollum for a moment*

Mmmmmmmmy preeeeeeccccccciousssssssss....

--~*~--

I dropped by Sacred Heart again this afternoon with Mikko. It was Family Day today so I was allowed entrance to the grounds.

*sighs*

Things have changed a lot since I was last there, both for the better and for the worst. There are more buildings now, and the field has suddenly lost around half it's original area because of the expanded canteen. Which I think is a little unfair that I never had a shot at these new facilities *kicks a pebble despondently*...

But what I recall the most are the "horror stories" that my sister tells me about this teacher there - the new adviser of third year section St. Angelo, a woman who goes by the name Ms. Cayosa (someone correct my spelling if I'm wrong). According to my sister, this hag (can't call her a bitch, since that's a compliment where I'm concerned, and can't call her witch, since that's a religious denomination) threatened a student with expulsion because of reading a book entitled Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas [Judas' Favorite Book] by Bob Ong. Now most people would assume that this a Satanist manifesto, but the thing is, it isn't. Bob Ong has gained fame for his books that compile his hilarious essays on the Filipino psyche, habits and customs, one of which is Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas.

It's a very funny book, and very insightful. I have read it, my sister has read it, hell, even my PARENTS have read it, and we ALL know that there's nothing in it about Satanism (or even Wicca or witchcraft, for that matter...). But the hag had the temerity to confiscate the book, and asked the following questions:

1. Why is the cover of the book black?

2. Why is the title of the book not in the center of the cover?

If I was the one who had to answer these questions, I would say this: "It's known as a marketing ploy, ma'am. Marketing ploys help people sell things. Why, have you never heard of a marketing ploy before? Do I have to define it for you? Or can't you tell the difference?"

All of these questions HAVE NO RELEVANCE TO THE ISSUE AT HAND! And what made this whole thing worse is that the poor girl was threatened with EXPULSION of all things, simply because she was thought of possessing a SUPPOSEDLY Satanic document - which, in truth, it wasn't. The hag merely ASSUMED it was Satanic because of the title.

Beat that.

If this had happened to my sister - (un)fortunately, it didn't - I would have marched into school and demanded to see the teacher. Not only that, I would have demanded for her immediate resignation. First of all, threatening someone with expulsion for READING something is utterly idiotic. It's already bad enough that the literacy rate of the Philippines is quite low. We don't need people compounding the problem by expelling students who actually READ.

Second, the hag hadn't even READ the book yet. Who was she to make assumptions about the contents of the book when she hadn't even READ the thing yet? That, I believe, is a very good display of idiocy.

And third, a teacher has no right to threaten a student with expulsion, which is something only the principal and/or directress of the school can do. Threatening a student like that amounts to academic terrorism, if I may use the term, and people who do that have no right to teach.

Teachers like that are better off kicked out. My sister shouldn't be forced to study under such people. My sister deserves an infinitely better education than the one she receives at the hands of that dunce.

How the hell did she become a teacher in the first place?

~ Harle

2003-12-05T18:54:00.000+08:00

New Links and the Accesibility of Authors (Especially Famous Ones)

"Right now, I have an IQ of about four."

~ clipped from Neil Gaiman's Journal, entry dated Dec. 4, 2003

And I certainly agree with Mr. Gaiman on that. There are times when I feel my IQ has gone down to four...especially lately, what with the pre-finals crunch and all...

I have added new links to my sidebar:

Loryces, who lives in the States yet is a Pinoy. She wandered to my site from the TPTS (aka The Philippine Tolkien Society) website (am I right?)

Aelaisha, whose site I should have added a LONG time ago, but was too busy to add. So sorry Lai *bows repeatedly in apology*

Les-chan, whom I've known since I was in high school and whose site, like Lai's, should have been added to my sidebar a LONG time ago, but I've been too busy to add. Like to Lai, so sorry *bows repeatedly in apology*.

And for the grand finale: Neil Gaiman's Journal. I discovered it through Lorcyes' sidebar, though Mai was talking about it before. I never had the chance to visit it except now, and I have added it to my list of places to visit when I have the chance.

--~*~--

Seeing Neil Gaiman's online journal led to an interesting train of thought: the idea of authors rubbing virtual elbows with their readers. In my opinion, this is a very good thing for authors to do. It brings them closer to the readers, lets them understand "the pulse," so to speak, of those who buy and read their works. It allows authors to see who reads their works, and gives them a chance to get to know and understand why these readers love (or hate, depending on the case) their work so much.

This availability of the author is good for readers too. It gives them a chance to understand how the author's mind works, how they tick. It makes them feel...privileged, I guess, that they have access to these people. This is especially true with people as famous as Neil Gaiman (whose works, by the way, have become the basis of many undergraduate theses in universities all over the Philippines) and J.K. Rowling (I don't know if anyone has tried to study her books as part of a thesis). However, Gaiman is more hip than Rowling, since he actually DOES allow people a glimpse into his life via his online journal. Rowling fans, on the other hand, can only speculate.

--~*~--

Speaking of Gaiman, I have to say this about American Gods, which I am re-reading as a respite from The God of Small Things: B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T!!!! Researching for this book, especially the mythologies, must have been a chore, but he incorporates everything so seamlessly and wondrously that all I can do is sit back and let the tide overwhelm me.

An interesting thing I noticed: there was mention of women who turned into white foxes somewhere towards the end of the novel. An echo of The Dream Hunters, perhaps?

And I wonder...how about an illustrated version of American Gods, or even Stardust? I can already imagine the illustrations for the latter...

~ Harle

2003-12-05T10:40:00.000+08:00

The Pre-Finals Crunch, Book Opinions and Yielding

*stares mournfully at Arundhati Roy's "The God of Small Things" and Eric Gamalinda's "My Sad Republic"* "See what I have to suffer through? Everybody thinks that Lit majors have it easy, but whoever said that is probably hunched behind a computer or a desk counting money. And to think, Lit majors tend to be UNDERPAID for all the hard work they do...

~ me just a few moments ago

As of this moment I am sitting in one of La Salle's computer labs, trying to type even if it hurts because of the cold air, which is already cold outside but is made even colder once it passes through the airconditioning system. During summer I would have been mighty thankful for the cold, but right now I sure as hell am NOT grateful for it.

*places right hand momentarily under her thigh to thaw it, and then goes on with her typing*

It is officially the pre-finals crunch week, and I have made absolutely NO headway at all with regards to my papers. I delayed reading Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things again because the first time I read it I ended up being thoroughly depressed, and I didn't want a repeat of that.

Then again, the last time I read The God of Small Things, I was only fifteen. When you're in high school, you tend to want to maintain that worldview wherein everything is perfect, fine and dandy. The God of Small Things is the type of book that trashes that completely, and when it happens, well... You want to stow the book away in the farthest corner of your bookshelf in the hopes that you never dig it up again.

But only recently, I was forced to do so for a paper in my Introduction to Fiction subject. I delayed reading it for two reasons:

1. I was more worried about doing well in my Advanced Writing paper, which is about Eric Gamalinda's novel My Sad Republic

2. I really didn't want to start reading God of Small Things UNLESS I had an adequate supply of chocolate. Yes, J.K. Rowling had it right in PoA: chocolate DOES cure depression. I won't go into the scientific nitty-gritty of it, but even science has proven that already.

God of Small Things is, admittedly, a book with beautiful language. You can read it out loud and it'll sound just as nice. But then again, when you DO read it, prepare for a downward slope with regards to emotions. You read it and it takes you lower and lower and lower. The ending is happy (though HOW that came about I won't say, since that'll be a spoiler), but it's not HAPPY enough to pull you from the slump you fell into while reading the book.

On the other hand, if you're a woman with feminist leanings and read the book, you will feel a great sense of indignation at how women are treated there. And the worse thing about it is this: IT'S REALLY HAPPENING IN INDIA. The caste system is still implemented, believe it or not, and there is nothing that can REALLY be done about it because it is ingrained into the culture of India since time immemorial. I know that I cannot condemn these people for having that sort of thinking and for implementing it because it's a part of culture (and who can do ANYTHING about culture these days?), it still irks me that women can be treated in such a manner, even today when there is supposedly equality for all.

The novel also deals with how people lose their identity because of colonization. And this isn't really all that surprising. It's happened not only in India but also in the Philippines. Filipinos no longer have a sense of identity and history because of the 333 years of Spanish Occupation, followed by several more years of American Occupation. I will not count the two or so years of Japanese Occupation during WW2 because they didn't stay long enough to REALLY leave their mark on the culture of the people.

Where does that leave the Filipino people? Stuck with a mindset and way of thinking that isn't really their own, one that does not and quite possibly cannot work for their nation, and with such a short memory for history that they can never learn from their own mistakes.

Which is why we currently have FPJ as a presidential candidate.

After electing Erap, you'd think the people would have learned, but NOOO.

*sighs* If Prof. Hila could see this, he'd probably think I sound very mcuh like an elitista.

...Maybe I do, because I do belong to the class, after all...

--~*~--

Eric Gamalinda's My Sad Republic is an entirely different cup of tea from God of Small Things. First of all, it's not as depressing since it's got its own moments of humor. Then again, what I define as humor might not be so funny for other people.

I've been told that Filipinos have a very sick sense of humor, since we can laugh at anything (even something as "serious" as a high-school dropout/actor run for president, which we have done already with Erap), and because we can turn anything into an innuendo. Some people might read My Sad Republic and not find it at all funny, but if we think about it humor is culture-bound, as are opinions on beauty and quality.

The thing about My Sad Republic - indeed, of many Filipino novels - is that they have that quality of being like Jose Rizal's "double-whammy," as Vicente Groyon put it, entitled Noli Me Tangere (English title is Social Cancer) and El Filibusterismo (English title is The Filibuster). Because of this, a lot of Philippine novels end up with the "Noli/Fili flavor". Even My Sad Republic is not spared this. The couple of Isio and Asuncion echoes Ibarra and Maria Clara from the Noli, while the reasons behind Isio's revolt against Spanish and eventually American rule are just like those of Ibarra/Simoun in the Noli and the Fili.

Still, I really like the novel. Written in the magic-realist vein (think Gabriel Garcia Marquez), I found it a lot easier to digest that Marquez' One Hundred Years of Solitude, maybe because Gamalinda used elements and references that are familiar to me, since they are a part of my culture and upbringing. The familiarity with the elements used in the novel made it a very easy read - at least in my opinion.

However, there's a difference between "easy" and "hard" read and "light" and "heavy". When I mean that something was easy (or hard) to read, I refer to how quickly I can page through it, meaning how easily I was able to get used to the language used in the book. The quicker I can finish reading a book, the easier it was for me to read.

When I say that a novel was a light or heavy read, I refer to the ideas that were presented in the book, and how much they preoccupied me long after I'd closed the book.

In that aspect, My Sad Republic is easy to read, but the ideas presented make it a very heavy book (and I don't just mean because of its length). The whole idea of what makes a revolution a successful one, combined with the issues that can easily be tied in with feminism and politics... The moment I closed the book I SWEAR my head was spinning from so many ideas. And then I read the newspapers that day and, well... Let's just say that I was able to see so many parallels between the book and what's going on in the political world at the moment in this country.

Pick the book up, when you have the chance. I swear it's fabulous.

--~*~--

My fears regarding Mac - the ones I had during my birthday nigh six months ago - have been confirmed.

It's never going to become officially "us."

The boy's just too contented with what we have. He doesn't want to ruin it.

Truth be told, I guess I can't really blame him. If he likes things the way they are, then I guess I have no right to change it. After all, I can't force my will on him - that's wrong.

But I promise I won't sink in to the pit I did after my birthday. Been there, done that, and I refuse to do it again. I am happy where I am - for now. Still, that doesn't stop me from looking around now, does it?

*starts scoping out other options in and around La Salle*

~ Harle

2003-11-29T20:46:00.000+08:00

I Have Hit the Jackpot!

*types "Mercy Peak fanfiction" into Google, and is absolutely delighted to get a result* Alright! *rubs hands together eagerly* At least I know where to go when I want to post up "Of Fame and Misfortune" and "Coming Home"...

~ me just a few moments ago

Mel, I have hit the jackpot where Mercy Peak fanstuff is concerned.

*cackles delightedly as she leafs through the pages available* Oooh, pretty wallpaper! *downloads a wallpaper of Sara Wiseman as Nicky Somerville* Pretty, pretty...

*clicks around, and finds a message board* Oooooh...message board... *clicks on the "register" button at the top of the page* Me join...

*waits a few moments for her password to be delivered* Dum de de dum de dum...

*squees when she gets the password* I'm in, I'm in!

*adds link to her sidebar* Happy ^_^...

~ Harle

2003-11-29T18:35:00.000+08:00

"Mind the Threefold Law You Should: Three Times Bad and Three Times Good"

"Perfect by nature
Icons of self-indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that

Never was and never will be
Have you no shame don't you see me
And somehow you got everybody fooled..."

~ first few lines of Evanescence's Everybody's Fool

It seems that I've become the topic of discussion - in a nasty way. Once more, the story in question here is Legend of the Three. I don't understand why there is such commotion over this.

Well, at least no one has tried to bash it because it was based on Wicca...

--~*~--

Once more, I will reiterate what I've been saying before: what right have people to judge according to what they think is right and what is wrong? What right do people have to impose THEIR views on what they think is "good fanfic" and what is "bad fanfic"? Granted, good grammar and spelling are important - that will never change, perhaps - but the very aesthetics of characterization and other such things...no one has the right to dictate what will be considered "good-fic" and "bad-fic." Each type has its own aesthetics by which it is to be judged. One cannot judge a story and then bash it because one did not think it was "beautiful."

Beauty is relative - even in fanfiction. ESPECIALLY in fanfiction.

~ Harle

2003-11-28T12:53:00.000+08:00

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! (or: RingCon 2003)

*blinks a couple of times* "Is that a beer belly I see? And how come his hair's getting blonder?"

~ me upon seeing Kiwi actor Craig Parker's photos from RingCon 2003 at Fozzer's RingCon 2003 Report

IT. IS. NOT. FAIR.

We should've been there!

If only for the sake of seeing Craig with blonde hair - at least TO ME it looked like his hair was going blonde. Peroxide blonde, in fact.

Yes, it was that time of the year again, and Bonn, Germany was THE place to be if you were an LOTR fan - or, at the very least, looking out for the drop-dead gorgeous New Zealand actors Mark Ferguson (Gil-galad/Witchking) and Craig Parker (Haldir). Yup, it was RingCon time again.

Aaaanyway, since I wasn't there, I'll just have to rely on Fozzer's RingCon 2003 Report as a source. And I do have to admit, I may not have been there, but the photos speak VOLUMES.

First of all, I'd just like to make a couple of hirits [comments] about Craig's look this RingCon:

1. Is it just me, or is he getting BLONDER? I mean, blonde makes his face look fat - if no one believes me, check out Haldir's scenes in FOTR and TTT and compare them with pics of Craig WITHOUT the wig - and you will all see what I mean. *prepares a dark-colored hair dye and skitters off to find Craig and apply it on his hair and make him look NORMAL again for Mel's sake*

2. Hmmm, is he growing a paunch or something? *opens files containing pics from last year's RingCon, and compares them with the pics from this year's RingCon* I mean, his belly seems to have grown a couple inches since last year. Looks like he's going to have to do some sit-ups to get a flat stomach again - or Mel and the rest of the Philippine Women's Hockey Team can take him to Gameworks Alabang and "play" with him a little. And NO, I don't mean THAT kind of play (you dirty minded people you), but hockey - NOT tonsil-hockey (that's a privilege only Mel can have, when we're talking about Craig ^_~), but INLINE hockey.

3. Stubble? Well...that's okay since it looks quite good on him. Still, I prefer my men clean-shaven, thank you very much *looks at Mark longingly*

4. Is Craig really THAT short?! He looks only as tall as me, or slightly taller. Then again, I'm comparing him to Mark and Mark's around 6'3" *scowls at the deities of genetics for neglecting to give her that one particular gene in her Spanish heritage that could have allowed her to grow taller*

Apparently, Mercy Peak is about to end, or has ended already. While this may be sad news to some people, I take this with a light heart. First of all, the end of the series means the beginning of DVD production, which means that I can buy DVD sets of the episodes and watch them here in the Philippines. Also, the end of the series means definite closure, which means Mel and I can start seriously writing those fics we've been planning for Mercy Peak.

Also, there's news that Craig is going to be starring in a production (theater, I think) of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I wonder what role he's going to play...the Witch? *is thwapped by the Almighty Unseen Hand* OW! Okay, I get the point! Jeez!

As for Mark *sighs*... I got no complaints. The man has great fashion sense (unlike Orlando Bloom - check out my earlier entries and Mai's LJ to find out more about THAT fiasco) and looks as buff as he did during RingCon 2002 - either that, or because of his good fashion sense he can hide any increase in body fat.

*giggles as she leafs through the pics* Awww...Mark looks so cute! He's actually got dimples!

*pauses and looks at pic, raises eyebrow and then grins evilly at seeing Craig's abs* I take everything I said about Craig being fat right back. There's one pic from the Mark and Craig Comedy Skit that proved me wrong. Open mouth, insert foot, Harle... Oh, and Mel, you know those dreams you used to have of Craig? Goddess, I can see WHY you wanted them to come as frequently as they could before... Those abs DEFINITELY imply something else.

Hmmm... I wonder if Mark's got abs like that?

*giggles* Mark lost his passport, eh? Hmm, I wonder why... *whistles innocently as she tries to hide something that looks suspiciously like a passport behind her back*

If any of you want a glimpse of the pictures I am referring to (or anything else, for that matter) just drop by here and poke around. Even the pictures are enough to send someone sprawling out of the chair and onto the floor from laughing so hard. That's what happened to me, actually *rubs sore tailbone as she types with one hand*...

--~*~--

It's been a while since the last one, but this latest one is rather freaky.

Yes, I've had ANOTHER dream of Mark Ferguson, one that's similar in tone to the first one. And, just like the first one, it didn't get too far - or as far as I might've wanted ^_~.

This one seemed a LOT more real than the first because this time, I SWEAR I thought I was half-awake.

The airconditioning was cold. I rolled over onto my left side, pulling the blankets along with me. Since I sensed that Max wasn't sleeping next to me I knew that I could have as much of the blankets as I wanted.

But something tugged them away from me, and by that time I was too sleepy to really care. And then I felt someone kiss me on the cheek. That cleared some of the sleep-fog from my brain, but not enough.

Next thing I know, someone's lying over me, and kissing my throat. And from the accent and the sound of the voice, I know who it is: Mark Ferguson. I lift my left hand up to clutch his head just at the base of his skull, where the neck joins with the head. I can feel his hair underneath my palm, as well as the touch of his lips on my throat and the weight of his body over mine. Everything is so real and seems to RIGHT that I'm prepared to believe that it is.

And then I realize that Mark CAN'T be in the house, and so the whole thing must be a dream. The moment this realization hits me, I hear him groan, and he says this: "I waited far too long for another chance at this with her, just her, and then you take her away from me so soon. It's not fair."

And then I wake up totally. I check the clock, and see that it's only slightly past three-thirty in the early morning. It really was just a dream.

So...what do you guys think? Mai thinks that it's very possible, since everything felt so real, that Mark and I were dreaming of the same thing at the same time, but she urges me to be cautious. I don't know...I kinda LIKED what happened - or what could have happened - in that dream.

~ Harle

2003-11-27T16:08:00.000+08:00

Quizzes and Evanescence

"Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending..."

~ second stanza from Everybody's Fool by Evanescence

Nabbed a quiz from Mai's LJ:

your inner self is intelligent, ambitious and determined. You know exactly how people see you and tend to want to impress people.
your outer self is logical, calm and tactful. You hide your failures and despise lots of people. However, you have to realise that failure is part and parcel of life.

inner vs. outer self tested by ibiki

It's quite true, to a certain extent... I tend not to judge myself unless I really have to, because I am biased in my own favor, so I can't really do an objective judgement. But that doesn't mean I let people dictate what I should and shouldn't be. I try as much as I can not to be a doormat.

And it's true: I don't take handle failure very well...

Another test that I nabbed off Mad Maeglin's LJ

Advanced Big Five Personality Test Results

Sociability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Gregariousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Activity Level	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Excitement-Seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Cheerfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Trust	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Morality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Altruism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Cooperation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Modesty	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Sympathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Friendliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	53%
Self-Efficacy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Neatness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Achievement	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Self-Discipline	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	48%
Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Anger	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Depression	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Self-Consciousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Immoderation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Vulnerability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Imagination	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Artistic Interests	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Emotionality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Liberalism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%

Take Free Advanced Big 5 Personality Test

Here's the interpretation:

The Big Five is currently the most accepted personality model in the scientific community. The Big Five emerged from the work of multiple independent scientists/researchers starting in the 1950s who using different techniques obtained similar results. Those results were that there are five distinct personality traits/dimensions. Here are your results on each dimension:

Extroversion results were medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, optimistic, sociable and affectionate.

Friendliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately good natured, trusting, and helpful.

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, reliable, neat, and ambitious.

Emotional Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and nervous.

Openmindedness results were moderately high which suggests you are creative, original, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

Pretty cool...

--~*~--

Currently listening to my Evanescence CD, and I've got the following songs on loop, in this order:

Everybody's Fool
Bring Me to Life
Tourniquet
Imaginary

At the moment, my most favored song is Everybody's Fool. There's something about it that really strikes a chord in me, if you people insist on knowing... Talks about what I hate the most about the world, as well what I hate most about myself. Ironic, eh? Today's my day for ironies, I guess....

Anyway, here are the lyrics:

Perfect by nature
Icons of self indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that

Never was and never will be
Have you no shame don't you see me
You know you've got everybody fooled

Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
But now I know she

Never was and never will be
You don't know how you betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

Without the mask where will you hide
Can't find yourself lost in the lie

I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore

It never was and never will be
You're not real and you can't save me
Somehow you're everybody's fool

I don't know... For some odd reason this is my shout to the world and the world shouting right back at me. The second stanza, especially, gets to me. I try to be perfect, yet at the same time I despise people who try to be perfect. And then the bridge:

Without the mask, where will you hide
Can't find yourself lost in the lie...

It strikes me too. Mel has been trying to pound this point into my head for the longest time, but I've never gotten it - not entirely, at least. She always tells me to drop the masks, but I can't. Maybe it's like the song says: I'm too lost in my lies that I need the masks to see straight.

~ Harle

2003-11-26T19:57:00.000+08:00

The Hobbit and the Elf

*cackles*

~ me after reading the results of the meme

I swiped this off Amy's LJ:

Your Threesome by soleta
username
age
middle name
location	In doctor's office
Partner the first	Elijah Wood
Partner the second	Orlando Bloom

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*cackles again*

And yet another one, once more nabbed from Amy's LJ:

The World Is MINE! by Demonac
Name:
You will conquer:	the Entire World, but Saddam Hussein is still at large.
Your title will be:	High Priest/Priestess
You will succeed by:	Single combat (you call out their leader and your kung-fu is stronger).
Your Enforcers will be:	Jay and Silent Bob.
Your first act as ruler:	Destroy every company you ever worked for.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*cackles again*

And since I love Amy's LJ so much, I skimmed through some of her entries, and found THIS:

Ereinion: You'll never take me alive! [realizes the rather necrophilic implication, groans]

It was taken from a quote list that was among the entries on the LJ. Hmmm...Mai, doesn't that sound WAY familiar...?

Ereinion *sitting on the floor, cornered against the wall, looking up at me as I leer naughtily down at him*: You will never take me alive!

Me *evil, seductive grin*: Doesn't matter... I'll have you dead OR alive...

Mai *thwaps her forehead*: Oh heaven help us with you and your necrophiliac tendencies, Harle! First it was Boromir, but when he kicked the bucket you went for Ereinion, but since he kicked the bucket WAY before Boromir did, you went after Theodred, and he kicked the bucket too! Do you sense a pattern here?!

Me *still grinning evilly while twining self around a still-protesting Ereinion*: I know. That's why I LOVE fanfic!

~ Harle

2003-11-25T16:51:00.000+08:00

Words to Live By: "The Thunder, Perfect Mind"

I was sent forth from the power,

and I have come to those who reflect upon me,
and I have been found among those who seek after me.
Look upon me, you who reflect upon me,
and you hearers, hear me.
You who are waiting for me, take me to yourselves.
And do not banish me from your sight.
And do not make your voice hate me, nor your hearing.
Do not be ignorant of me anywhere or any time. Be on your guard!
Do not be ignorant of me.

~ first portion of "The Thunder, Perfect Mind" as translated by George W. MacRae

Ever since I first got my Elemental Tarot deck and while I yet had it, I was always intrigued by the snippets that were palced along the borders of the Major Arcana cards of that deck. According to the book that came with the deck, it was from a Gnostic poem entitled "The Thunder, Perfect Mind." It was only today that I had the chance to look it up online, and was surprised to see that there were several sites that had copies of the whole thing. I will be posting up a copy of the poem, though I acquired it from this page of the Gnostic Society Library. The translation I will put up here was done by George W. MacRae.

--~*~--

The Thunder, Perfect Mind
Translated by George W. MacRae

I was sent forth from the power,

and I have come to those who reflect upon me,
and I have been found among those who seek after me.
Look upon me, you who reflect upon me,
and you hearers, hear me.
You who are waiting for me, take me to yourselves.
And do not banish me from your sight.
And do not make your voice hate me, nor your hearing.
Do not be ignorant of me anywhere or any time. Be on your guard!
Do not be ignorant of me.

For I am the first and the last.
I am the honored one and the scorned one.
I am the whore and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.
I am and the daughter.
I am the members of my mother.
I am the barren one
and many are her sons.
I am she whose wedding is great,
and I have not taken a husband.
I am the midwife and she who does not bear.
I am the solace of my labor pains.
I am the bride and the bridegroom,
and it is my husband who begot me.
I am the mother of my father
and the sister of my husband
and he is my offspring.
I am the slave of him who prepared me.
I am the ruler of my offspring.
But he is the one who begot me before the time on a birthday.
And he is my offspring in (due) time,
and my power is from him.
I am the staff of his power in his youth,
and he is the rod of my old age.
And whatever he wills happens to me.
I am the silence that is incomprehensible
and the idea whose remembrance is frequent.
I am the voice whose sound is manifold
and the word whose appearance is multiple.
I am the utterance of my name.

Why, you who hate me, do you love me,
and hate those who love me?
You who deny me, confess me,
and you who confess me, deny me.
You who tell the truth about me, lie about me,
and you who have lied about me, tell the truth about me.
You who know me, be ignorant of me,
and those who have not known me, let them know me.

For I am knowledge and ignorance.
I am shame and boldness.
I am shameless; I am ashamed.
I am strength and I am fear.
I am war and peace.
Give heed to me.
I am the one who is disgraced and the great one.

Give heed to my poverty and my wealth.
Do not be arrogant to me when I am cast out upon the earth,
and you will find me in those that are to come.
And do not look upon me on the dung-heap
nor go and leave me cast out,
and you will find me in the kingdoms.
And do not look upon me when I am cast out among those who
are disgraced and in the least places,
nor laugh at me.
And do not cast me out among those who are slain in violence.
But I, I am compassionate and I am cruel.

Be on your guard!
Do not hate my obedience
and do not love my self-control.
In my weakness, do not forsake me,
and do not be afraid of my power.
For why do you despise my fear
and curse my pride?
But I am she who exists in all fears
and strength in trembling.
I am she who is weak,
and I am well in a pleasant place.
I am senseless and I am wise.

Why have you hated me in your counsels?
For I shall be silent among those who are silent,
and I shall appear and speak,
Why then have you hated me, you Greeks?
Because I am a barbarian among the barbarians?
For I am the wisdom of the Greeks
and the knowledge of the barbarians.
I am the judgement of the Greeks and of the barbarians.
I am the one whose image is great in Egypt
and the one who has no image among the barbarians.
I am the one who has been hated everywhere
and who has been loved everywhere.
I am the one whom they call Life,
and you have called Death.
I am the one whom they call Law,
and you have called Lawlessness.
I am the one whom you have pursued,
and I am the one whom you have seized.
I am the one whom you have scattered,
and you have gathered me together.
I am the one before whom you have been ashamed,
and you have been shameless to me.
I am she who does not keep festival,
and I am she whose festivals are many.
I, I am godless,
and I am the one whose God is great.
I am the one whom you have reflected upon,
and you have scorned me.
I am unlearned,
and they learn from me.
I am the one that you have despised,
and you reflect upon me.
I am the one whom you have hidden from,
and you appear to me.
But whenever you hide yourselves,
I myself will appear.
For whenever you appear,
I myself will hide from you.
Those who have [...] to it [...] senselessly [...].

Take me [... understanding] from grief.
and take me to yourselves from understanding and grief.
And take me to yourselves from places that are ugly and in ruin,
and rob from those which are good even though in ugliness.
Out of shame, take me to yourselves shamelessly;
and out of shamelessness and shame,
upbraid my members in yourselves.
And come forward to me, you who know me
and you who know my members,
and establish the great ones among the small first creatures.
Come forward to childhood,
and do not despise it because it is small and it is little.
And do not turn away greatnesses in some parts from the smallnesses,
for the smallnesses are known from the greatnesses.

Why do you curse me and honor me?
You have wounded and you have had mercy.
Do not separate me from the first ones whom you have known.
And do not cast anyone out nor turn anyone away
[...] turn you away and [... know] him not.
[...].
What is mine [...].
I know the first ones and those after them know me.

But I am the mind of [...] and the rest of [...].
I am the knowledge of my inquiry,
and the finding of those who seek after me,
and the command of those who ask of me,
and the power of the powers in my knowledge
of the angels, who have been sent at my word,
and of gods in their seasons by my counsel,
and of spirits of every man who exists with me,
and of women who dwell within me.
I am the one who is honored, and who is praised,
and who is despised scornfully.
I am peace,
and war has come because of me.
And I am an alien and a citizen.
I am the substance and the one who has no substance.

Those who are without association with me are ignorant of me,
and those who are in my substance are the ones who know me.
Those who are close to me have been ignorant of me,
and those who are far away from me are the ones who have known me.
On the day when I am close to you, you are far away from me,
and on the day when I am far away from you, I am close to you.

[I am ...] within.
[I am ...] of the natures.
I am [...] of the creation of the spirits.
[...] request of the souls.
I am control and the uncontrollable.
I am the union and the dissolution.
I am the abiding and I am the dissolution.
I am the one below,
and they come up to me.
I am the judgment and the acquittal.
I, I am sinless,
and the root of sin derives from me.
I am lust in (outward) appearance,
and interior self-control exists within me.
I am the hearing which is attainable to everyone
and the speech which cannot be grasped.
I am a mute who does not speak,
and great is my multitude of words.

Hear me in gentleness, and learn of me in roughness.
I am she who cries out,
and I am cast forth upon the face of the earth.
I prepare the bread and my mind within.
I am the knowledge of my name.
I am the one who cries out,
and I listen.
I appear and [...] walk in [...] seal of my [...].
I am [...] the defense [...].
I am the one who is called Truth
and iniquity [...].

You honor me [...] and you whisper against me.
You who are vanquished, judge them (who vanquish you)
before they give judgment against you,
because the judge and partiality exist in you.
If you are condemned by this one, who will acquit you?
Or, if you are acquitted by him, who will be able to detain you?
For what is inside of you is what is outside of you,
and the one who fashions you on the outside
is the one who shaped the inside of you.
And what you see outside of you, you see inside of you;
it is visible and it is your garment.

Hear me, you hearers
and learn of my words, you who know me.
I am the hearing that is attainable to everything;
I am the speech that cannot be grasped.
I am the name of the sound
and the sound of the name.
I am the sign of the letter
and the designation of the division.
And I [...].
(3 lines missing)
[...] light [...].
[...] hearers [...] to you
[...] the great power.
And [...] will not move the name.
[...] to the one who created me.
And I will speak his name.

Look then at his words
and all the writings which have been completed.
Give heed then, you hearers
and you also, the angels and those who have been sent,
and you spirits who have arisen from the dead.
For I am the one who alone exists,
and I have no one who will judge me.

For many are the pleasant forms which exist in numerous sins,
and incontinencies,
and disgraceful passions,
and fleeting pleasures,
which (men) embrace until they become sober
and go up to their resting place.
And they will find me there,
and they will live,
and they will not die again.

--~*~--

Wise words to live by...

~ Harle

2003-11-24T18:09:00.000+08:00

Musicals and Short-shorts

"I peer through windows
Watch life go by
Dream of tomorrow and wonder why
The past is holding me
Keeping life away
I wander lost in yesterday
Wanting to fly
But scared to try

But if someone like you
Found someone like me
And suddenly nothing would ever be same
My heart would take wing
And I'd feel so alive
If someone like you found me..."

~ first parts of "Someone Like You" from the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde musical

Mel wants to make a musical based on the travails of the barkada as of late. Most of the songs will probably come from other musicals - like the one above, which, both Mel and I agreed, suits several major couples in LOTS quite well. There will also be songs that Mel herself wrote, according to our preference.

As of the moment, the libretto (naaks, using fancy terms now, are we ^_~?) includes the following songs:

1. The Whole of the Moon ~ Celtic Fayre
2. Someone Like You ~ Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
3. Someone Else's Story ~ Chess

I know, a VERY small list of songs, but that will grow longer as time passes.

--~*~--

Mel commented just today that Broadway music is the music that suits my voice best. I've always thought it was that way for quite some time, but I guess not a lot of people notice. I'm the type who wouldn't mind acting onstage as long as it was in a musical. I don't have the mind for memorizing lines, but I CAN memorize lyrics and a tune without that much trouble.

I don't know, I guess I never reall WAS meant for pop or even rock. Now Broadway-style...I think that's something I can handle ^_^.

--~*~--

I've finally managed to post my two short-shorts:

The Morning After ~ A glimpse into the morning-after of a couple.

Potential ~ A momentary episode showing the frightening potential that one girl possesses.

Go read and review ^_^!

~ Harle

2003-11-23T10:15:00.000+08:00

A Splitting Headache and a Morning After...

"I don't wanna eat. I don't think I could hold anything down..."

~ me last night

Mai, sorry if I was unavailable for comment last night. I was down with...something. I had a splitting migraine for most of the night, and then later on my stomach went up in revolt. I swear I wanted to puke, but couldn't because I didn't have anything in my stomach to begin with. If anyone tried to feed me, I knew with absolute certainty that I wasn't going to be able to keep it down at all.

But anyway, moving to what Mai posted on her LJ... HOLY QUACK!!! Meaning no offense to the Orli Bloom fans, but REALLY! The J-rock star look doesn't suit him at all. I like him clean-cut and smooth: think Legolas or Will Turner (that's as scruffy as I'm allowing him to get) or maybe even Paris in that new movie Troy.

Mai, I suggest that you and I slaughter the makeup artist who did that.

--~*~--

I've been hunting down lyrics over the Net lately, and I haven't been able to find some of the ones that I want. It's depressing when I can't find the lyrics for the Last Unicorn theme, especially since I know Mel would certainly want a copy as well.

In the meantime, though, I've put up the lyrics of Angela Ammon's song entitled "When It Doesn't Matter" as my theme song as of late. In truth, though, it applies to the New Zealand actor Mark Ferguson. Why? That is something I will keep to myself. Anyway, here are the lyrics in full:

When It Doesn't Matter

I'm everything you never wanted
Why does it mean so much to you?
I'm walking away, I'm not beggin' you
To please let me stay.

You wanna take a picture
So you'll remember
Me standing by this open door
Does it make it better
If you tell yourself I never wanted to go?

CHORUS:
Should I say that we should still be friends?
Should I cry or should I just pretend
That it's killing me, and I don't want you to leave?
Should I make you think I'd suffer
When it doesn't matter

You try to figure out why I said nothing
When you told me that it's over now
Why are you believing
That my smile is only here to hide the pain?

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
I'm tired of all the happy-ever-after endings
I'm tired of make-believe heroes
I'm tired of taking back what I have given
I'm tired of waking up here...

That it's killing me and I don't want you to leave
Should I make you think I'd suffer
Suffer

CHORUS

I'm tired of all the happy-ever-after endings
I'm tired of make-believe heroes
I'm tired of taking back what I have given
That I'm tired of wanting you...

Read that, and you will get an inkling of what's going on in my head with regards to Mark.

~ Harle

2003-11-22T16:22:00.000+08:00

Project Accomplished!

"...To impose one’s own aesthetic beliefs upon others, which have been the unfortunate habit of those who think the way New Critics do, is essentially wrong and unjust. While there is certainly nothing wrong with the application of some of the ideals of New Criticism, it is wrong to implement the concepts of universality, dogma and elitism, which can be considered the hallmarks of a New Critic’s policies. Such concepts must be purged from the minds of fanfiction authors, readers, and site archivists, for it is unwarranted in the world – both in cyberspace and outside it."

~ last few sentences of the last paragraph of my essay

I never thought I'd do it, but I did.

I have written an essay about fanfiction, and have posted it up on fictionpress.com. If anyone is interested in reading it, just click this link: The Application of Literary Critical Theory in Fanfiction. It will lead to the page itself. And of course, I would greatly appreciate reviews ^_^.

Basically, what it does is pinpoint the type of literary critical theory that is espoused by the dominant group in the fanfiction community, then moves on to pinpoint the weaknesses of this ideology. In the end, I offer an alternative set of theories to be applied when reviewing fanfiction.

*goes back and reads it over*

You know, I just realized. I really DID justify the existence of Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu fanfiction.

*shrugs*

Ah well, whatever. It's about time that some people in the fanfiction community learned a lesson in humility. After all, in our time, why should the tyrannic mindset of a bunch of old fogies matter much to us? New time, new way of thinking.

*long pause*

This is what happens when you actually enjoy the topic that's being taught, and feel the urge to apply it to everything you read and write.

~ Harle

2003-11-21T18:57:00.000+08:00

I'm Back in Business - Well, Almost...

"So, what do you think?"

"They're beautiful. You know, why don't you try making one set for each of the Dragon Clans you made up? I can already see the shelf in- Is it your house or the ladies' pad?"

"Must be the ladies' pad, 'cause I don't have a shelf of my own in my house."

~ me and Mel early this morning

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am back in business - or halfway there, at least.

The divination business, that is.

Ever since the fateful day that my runes and Tarot cards got stolen, I haven't tried any sort of divination, mostly asking other people like Mel to do it for me. But yesterday, I decided that it was about time to break the cycle and start anew.

Since I have chosen to go the way of dragon magick, I decided that the best thing to do would be to look for dragon runes and use those for basis. In the end, my websurfing led me to this site: Dracopedia: Druatch Dragon Runes. These runes are based on the druatch language and were created by Isedon Goldwing. According to the webpage, they're used for engraving and for rituals, but I thought that they would make excellent divination runes.

And today, I was proven right.

Just this morning, I decided to bring my newly made runes to school to show to Mel. She looked at them, pronounced them wonderfully done (though I think the others still need another coat of nail polish, just to be sure), and I did two readings for her: one was the twelve-stone Zodiac Spread, and the other was the three-stone Gypsy Spread. It was interesting that a lot of the things I had read had been accurate, especially since Mel didn't actually voice out her question.

Intriguing...

--~*~--

Somewhat in relation to that, I am actually on the verge of giving my prof - yes, MY PROF - a lesson concerning Tarot cards. His deck is a beginner's deck, and seems based on the Rider-Waite deck. Unfortunately, that deck is, in my humble opinion, a really bad one to use because it somewhat requires a LOT of memorization. I was lucky with the Elemental Tarot deck that I had - it gave me the basics and didn't require a lot of memorization. Also, it eliminated the argument about the Wands being Air and the Swords being Fire or vice-versa. The cards (for the Minor Arcana) were either Fire, Air, Water, or Earth. No more arguments about which is which.

As for actually teaching my prof, I think we're good to go on Monday morning, and I will bring the book that came with my Elemental Tarot deck. That one had a REALLY simple way of looking at the Minor Arcana: each number stands for something, so all you have to do is memorize that that number stands for, and then associate that with the element which one particular card stands for. The result is a reading that leaves a lot of room for intuitive input - something that I like A LOT.

Speaking of Tarot decks...I really, REALLY want the Celtic Dragon Tarot. That one would be the BEST gift anyone could give me this Christmas...

--~*~---

I'm writing an essay that talks about the use of post-structuralist literary criticism on fanfiction. This is a pet project of mine at the moment, along with the two fics I've been working on the most, and I will put it up on fictionpress.net when I've actually finished it. A lot of people might get mad at me; others might be okay with it. Whatever the case may be, I think that it could end up a pretty good essay.

Basically, what it does is explain (some would say justify) the existence of Mary-Sue fanfiction and other related fanfiction "banes." How I do that is, of course, something I will not mention here.

I will, however, say this: a lot of reviewers (particularly the more stringent ones with regards to character, canon, etc.) are SO outdated with regards to their choice of a critical theory - whether they are aware of it or not.

~ Harle

2003-11-20T08:30:00.000+08:00

REMUS!!! REMUS!!! REMUS!!!

"EEEEEEE!!! Noey ang gwapo NIYAAAAA!!!"

~ me just a moment ago

I took this quiz that I pilfered from Mel's blog a few minutes ago:

Which Harry Potter Marauder Are You?

And yes, he looks so GODDAMN GORGEOUS HERE!!!

*sighs* I wish that there were more guys like him present in my life...

~ Harle

2003-11-19T18:21:00.000+08:00

Of Tolkien, Rowling, and Rewriting Philippine Myths for the Purpose of a Story

"EEEEEEEEEEE!!! GIMME REMUS! GIMME! GIMME!"

~ me after catching a glimpse of the many Harry Potter fanart Mel brought

Yes folks, I've become rather obsessed over Remus Lupin of Harry Potter fame. And all of this is because Mel decided to bring a "yearbook picture" of the man yesterday, and he had to look so damn gorgeous. Of course, Mel is head-over-heels in love with Sirius Black, who in most pictures tends to look like a certain Liam. And, as expected, all of this led to massive amounts of ficcage, with a couple of fics on the way as it is.

Of course, this led to character creation, and I now have a new name: in the HP fandom, I shall be known as Sinag-Tala Carreon (mom was British, dad was Filipino). For the non-Filipino speakers out there, Sinag-Tala means "starlight" or "starshine" in old Tagalog. She is of middling height, with dark hazel eyes and short red-brown hair (a consensus between her mother and father's genes), and is a pure-blood (though her dad is Muggle-born). She is a scholar from the Philippines, and is a Ravenclaw. She has had a crush on Remus Lupin since her freshman year at Hogwarts, and is a close friend of Lily Evans, whom, according to Tal (her nickname) should have been in Ravenclaw instead of Gryffindor.

Anyway, I won't say anything more than that, because if I did I might end up giving the story away ^_~.

--~*~--

I have FINALLY managed to wrap up the outline I made for the project that Liam, Mel and I are working on. I promised to make the "mythology" for the project, and after looking into several Philippine myths about the creation of the world, I managed to find one that fitted in well enough with what I wanted to do.

Now the only problem with this project will be Liam's input. It's HIS character that Mel and I are waiting for, to be honest...

--~*~--

I am now a proud member of The Philippine Tolkien Society ^_^. It's open to all Filipinos who love Lord of the Rings or any of Tolkien's works. If you feel like joining up (it's open only to Filipinos, sorry), you can click this link or the one on my sidebar.

I'm glad I was accepted ^_^.

~ Harle

2003-11-17T19:01:00.000+08:00

I Did Something Very, VERY Stupid...

"I will create a character called Moron, and he will always be attached to YOU!"

~ Mel after she learned about The Very Stupid Thing

Yes, YES, I WILL ADMIT IT! I DID A VERY, VERY STUPID THING! From henceforth, I shall remember that the Delete Button is my worst enemy, especially in Hotmail, and that I ought to save ALL emails, especially when they come from Ginoong Napakalayo Sa 'Kin, even if, when I deleted the email, it was because I wanted to forget all about him.

To my dearest darling sisters, kung gusto niyong malaman kung anong kagaguhan ang ginawa ng batang ito, pumunta kayo ng Wednesday para itanong. For the people who can't come, text either me or Mel and I or she will tell you the whole story.

*sighs*

It's official. I'm an idiot.

~ Harle

2003-11-15T18:25:00.000+08:00

Of Personality Tests, Commercials, Teen Soaps and Online Relationships

"I'm a WHAT?!"

"That seems applicable to you."

"You even SURE 'bout that? Have you looked at the career options yet?"

"... Alright, the description applies, but the career options SURE AS HELL DON'T!"

~ me talking with a groupmate during Orient2 today

Just got back from Orient2 today, and I was mildly surprised by the results of the personality test that I had taken a long time ago.

The name of the personality test is the Myers-Briggs Indicator (MBTI), which is based on Jung's theory of pscyhological types as interpreted by the developers of the test: Isabel Myers and Katherine Briggs. Anyway, I had taken this test a long time ago, but I don't remember when I took the test, but the facilitator had our results. According to the results, I'm a INTJ. To summarize:

Introversion ~ draw energy from the inner world of concepts and ideas

Intuiting ~ focus on possibilities

Thinking ~ focus on impersonal logic and analysis

Judging ~ prefers a planned, decided, orderly/organized way of life

More or less, that's what each letter stands for. On the whole, a person who is under the INTJ type:

...usually have original minds and great drive for their own ideas and purposes. In fields that appeal to them, they have fine power to organize a job and carry it through with or without help. Skeptical, critical, independent, determined, sometimes stubborn. Must learn to yield less important ponts in order to win the more important.

This description I find completely true, though only when I'm dealing with people whom I'm unfamiliar with or when I'm in a new environment. And that's certainly not how I deal with my friends. As they will tell you, I'm quite the opposite of that.

As for the career options for the INTJ type, they are:

1. management consultant
2. economist
3. international banker
4. financial planner
5. design engineer
6. operations research analyst
7. information systems developer
8. network integration specialist

However, these are jobs that I DON'T EVEN WANT! They all involve too much math for me to even APPRECIATE any of them. While they might all earn me lots of money if I ventured into them, they don't exactly appeal to my creative side - a side of me that needs to be fed and indulged CONSTANTLY.

--~*~--

One thing that I noticed about the description above is my tendency to be critical. This is absolutely true. I was watching that commercial for Pond's facial powder, and when I saw the girl in the ad the first thing that popped to mind was VALLEY GIRL in the worst possible way.

Then I saw that napkin commercial (the one with Donita Rose in it), and I remember listening to one of the girls do her testimonial, and remember thinking her accent was SO put on.

Another commercial: the one for the hotdog, the one with the basketball player. I remember hearing the kid laugh and thinking it was SO fake.

And there is a reason why I try to just shut up and not say anything about things I can't change.

--~*~--

I overheard that teen drama Max was watching on TV a while ago, and one of the things they featured was this situation between a guy and a girl who were good friends with one another. Guy has crush on Girl, Girl likes Guy, but neither one is making a move. A situation comes up wherein Guy has the chance to tell Girl he likes her, but he messes it up BIG TIME. In the end, Girl sends Guy out because he's been mean to her.

While it hasn't reached THAT extent yet with Mac and me, I still feel quite...I don't know. It just stung when I saw that scene. It reminded me of the possibility of nothing happening, and worse, of things souring between the two of us.

But we will never know unless we try, right?

--~*~--

Way, WAY early this morning I received Mai's text that she sent after midnight last night. It concerned some rather disturbing news: their maid had gotten pregnant because of her online boyfriend, and now Mai's mom is telling Mai to break up with Leander.

First of all, I think that such a precaution is rather silly. Mai isn't like their maid; I bet that she's a LOT more responsible than that. For all Mai's bluster and going on and on about doing the deed with Leander, I doubt that she'll really pull through with it if the event DOES present itself. As if I'd even allow her to go through with it either way.

Mai, I know you're a lot more responsible than that. I know that you can handle yourself around him, and that you'll keep the preservation of your virtue (Goddess, that sounded SO Elfish ^_~) foremost in mind when alone with Leander. You're a smart girl, and you can definitely take care of yourself. So chin up, and don't let this get to you.

~ Harle

2003-11-09T10:57:00.000+08:00

I Have Returned from the Matrix...

"I'm not so bad, once you get to know me..."

~ Agent Smith from "Matrix: Revolutions"

Yes folks, I have seen the final link in the Matrix movie trilogy, and I have to admit that I was somewhat disappointed by it, and that the ending was fairly predictable, after BLEEP BLEEPED. I will try not to spoil anything, for the benefit of those people who have not had the chance to watch it yet.

As I was saying, I was kind of disappointed by this final installment to the Wachowski Brothers' trilogy of futuristic movies. The first one was good, the second one was okay, and the third one was not-so-okay. I know, I'm probably going to hear a lot of flames from Matrix fans, but seriously, the third movie didn't live up to the expectations I had for it.

I was sorely disappointed by all the cheesy lines that Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) had to recite. His meeting with BLEEP had so much potential for good lines, but the scriptwriter must've hated Agent Smith's guts, and so gave him all the corniest lines.

The only time Agent Smith is of any good is when he and Neo are fighting. Remember that fight scene in the rain that was shown in the trailers? Well, the whole fight was especially jaw-dropping. I will say nothing further, because to detail it would be to spoil it - and besides, I don't think I'd be able to describe just how amazing that fight scene was. Kudos goes to the cinematographers and everyone who worked on those scenes.

As for the other characters, I still say that Niobe (Jada Pinkett-Smith) and Link (don't know the actor's name, sorry!) are my favorites. Niobe practically stole the show from all the other characters, in my opinion.

Oh, and I still believe that Lock has a stick shoved WAY up his ass.

I will say nothing further, because if I do, I am going to end up spoiling the movie, and people are going to be WAY angry at me for doing that.

--~*~--

The three Matrix movies made a very interesting argument for the Balance of Chaos and Order theory. After watching the three movies, you will come to realize that the Oracle stands for Chaos, while the Architect stands for Order. In the same way, Agent Smith stands for Chaos, while Neo stands for Order. To achieve Balance, either the two cooperate, or the two blast each other to high heavens until none of them is left standing. There is a choice between co-existence and obliteration. I will not tell you which of these two pairs chooses co-existence and which chooses obliteration, but I think you can figure that out for yourself.

The world is a result of the constant balancing act between Chaos and Order, Evil and Good. If one side wins, then it won't be long until the other side gets strength enough to swing the scales in its favor. That's how it works: the world swings between these two sides, never staying permanently in one side.

After all, why would anyone want to be forever stuck in the realm of Order? Order implies stagnation and non-change, as well as a lack of creativity. For short, in the realm of Order, everything is BORING. And I'm pretty sure no decent person would want life to be boring.

However, nobody wants too much of Chaos, either. Chaos determines to CHANGE everything, by any means possible, and that includes violence and destruction. It's very hard to live a life without permanence, and that's what too much Chaos brings.

The world, as I said a while ago, swings between these two forces, and rarely ever rests in very small space between the two. There have possibly been times in history when it was such, but those times were probably few and far-between. At the moment, I think the world is swinging more towards Chaos, and the only way that it can be brought back to the realm of Order is through a violent and perhaps bloody clash.

Violence and conflict have always accompanied the resolutions between Chaos and Order. These two are polar opposites, so when they clash, the world trembles and destinies are remade and forged anew. Large, worldwide wars are the best examples to use to define this clash. Revolts and revolutions are smaller-scaled versions of this clash.

Anyway, just watch Revolutions and you people will see what I'm talking about.

~ Harle

2003-11-02T10:11:00.000+08:00

I am Repressed...

"I know I'm about to get mine when I start getting an irrational craving for chocolate and smut."

~ me on various occasions

As I promised, I will post up the newest smut that Anand wrote for me ^_^. This is a direct continuation of the last post concerning this topic. If you want to read what happened before this, then scroll down a little and hunt down the entry. Here it goes!

--~*~--

Roberto clicked off the cell phone and made his way as surreptitiously as possible to the Gents. This was the second time he'd ducked a meeting with Orophin in favour of Elya but if he were careful, his brother would think he'd gone home. He just needed to wash and comb his hair out – not start a conversation that might last the rest of the night and he prayed that Orophin would understand.

Fortunately there was no one in the rest room as Roberto went about his ablutions. The DJ was playing slow, romantic tunes and people were taking advantage of the late hour to engage the attention of prospective mates on the dance floor. On his way out he noticed a machine selling condoms. Now he'd never had any need for these before but he wondered if he should start using them. In fact…Elya could be expecting right now since he'd used nothing in the way of contraception the other night. Mmm, but that would be wonderful. He'd never dared dream of fathering an infant, given his previous leanings.

On impulse he put money in the machine, turned a knob and received his purchase. He wasn't even sure what they were like, exactly. Ripping open the packet he examined the thin, rubber article nestling in his palm, moist with lubricant and smelling of…well, like nothing he'd smelt before, certainly not very pleasant. He couldn't imagine using it, placing such an alien thing in Elya, separating her flesh from his. No, forget it. He would take all the delightful consequences of his actions in the manner the Goddess handed them out. He placed the packet on the side of a washbasin. Let someone else use them.

A short while later and Roberto had arrived at 26, Culross Street. He paid the taxi fare and watched as the cab disappeared down the road. Then, he gracefully leapt the gate and made his way around to the back of the house. There was the aforementioned oak tree, which he recognised as the sessile variety of English Oak, near to the
house. Its low hanging branches would make the task easy. He grasped hold of the trunk; the bark was warm to the touch, alive and pulsing with the flow of nutriments. As he scaled the oak, moonlight glinted through the foliage making everything stand out in stark relief, outlining each leaf with charcoal. It was a short jump to the windowsill, simple for an elf of Galadhrim heritage. He slipped through the open pane and alighted on the carpet of Elya's room.

Stella watched as a lithe figure crowned with gold landed in the pool of moonlight that dripped in from outside, the sound of his landing muffled by the carpet of her room. She was more than glad that the floor here was carpeted: had it been in the hacienda, the bare wooden floorboards of her room would have certainly made quite a racket.

She uncurled her legs from beneath her, and climbed out of the bed, heading towards him. Once she was close enough, she slid her hand into his much larger one, fitting her fingers between the spaces of his own. She squeezed his hand lightly, and murmured his name: "Haldir."

"Ah, Elya, melamin," he replied, sweeping her up in his arms and depositing her on the window ledge. .

She ended up with her legs dangling either side of his hips, engaged in a cuddle. He wriggled about and his leather jacket slipped off his shoulders and fell to the ground. A little more wriggling and his shirt joined it. Stella could see the glint of a belt buckle against his bare stomach, his muscles rippling against it and defining his waist.

"You have far too many clothes on, Elya, sweet though they may be," Roberto observed, fingering the strap of her cotton top. "Now if I'm to gaze upon your full beauty in the moonlight, I shall have to take them off."

They giggled and he slipped the top over her arms and added it to the pile on the floor. "Very sexy," he murmured, "partially clothed maiden." His lips brushed against hers as he pulled their bare torsos together so they could delight in flesh upon flesh. As they started to kiss she pulled the fastening of his braid free and released his long, silky tresses so that they flowed around his back and shoulders, tickling her exposed skin.

She breathed up the scent of him as they kissed, fresh grass and fields of blue linseed. It was his own scent and not masked by other perfumes and she found it exceedingly attractive. Like the rest of him. His tongue felt like velvet as it explored her mouth, and he ran it lightly over the roof and then against her own. She felt her nipples go hard against his chest, aching marble, and nothing else mattered but drowning herself in his embrace.

He broke the kiss, teasing her. "Feeling better, melamin? I know I am!" His smile was cheeky and his pupils dilated with lust, as he moved his hand down her spine and edged his fingers under the soft material of her shorts until her right buttock was sitting in his palm. With the other hand he kept her at a distance so she couldn't move. His hand began a slow, rhythmic squeezing which was so sensual as to be indecent and she was reduced to moans and gasps as he continued the torture, his middle finger stroking the silky perineum, which was getting wetter by the minute. It was all the more sensational, as she couldn't do a thing to stop him. "Oh, hush, Elya, you wouldn't want your Aunty to see you like this, would you?" he laughed. "Or like this."

In a trice, he'd moved away, pulled her shorts off and moved back in, kneeling on the floor and positioning his head between her legs, his hands grasping her wrists and holding them against her sides so she couldn't move again. He had not been one of the quickest combatants on Arda for nothing. Now his tongue was licking back and forth across the most sensitive portions of her anatomy as her heels beat against his back. He lingered on the rise of flesh most dear to females and sucked remorselessly and rhythmically on that particular point until the inevitable happened.

Stella cried out loud, gasping his name (amongst other things), through the open window and not giving one iota that people might hear her. He rose up her body, giggling, and nipping a breast on the way. She squealed again as he cuddled her. "Elya, calm down. I can't think what has brought all this excitement on. I shall have to sedate
you in a minute." He was shaking with laughter and could hardly hold her.

There was a knock at the door. "Charlie, are you alright?" It was Michelle. Roberto had his face buried in Stella's shoulder and was helpless really, but doing his best not to make too much noise.

Stella did her best to pretend like she had just woken up. She cleared her throat discreetly, and put on a voice that she hoped sounded like she had just been stirred from sleep. "Mich? Is that you?"

She felt Roberto hitch against her in laughter, and in an attempt to shut him up she gently nipped the point of his ear. That did the trick: Roberto had been forced to muffle his moan against her shoulder.

"Yeah, it's me. What the hell is up with you in there? You woke me up with your screaming."

"Sorry Mich. I...had a pretty bad nightmare."

"Nightmare? Again?" Michelle's voice shifted from demanding to concerned. "You want me to come in there? It sounded like a really bad one this time..."

"No, I'll be fine," Stella threw back, watching the shadow at the bottom of the door with a wary eye. Goddess, it was getting harder to keep the act up, not with Roberto laying kisses and bites all over her shoulder and the side of her neck. "I'll just leave the window open, if you don't mind. Maybe some fresh air will do me some good and help me go back to sleep."

On the other side of the door, Michelle sighed. She didn't know what was up with her cousin. If she didn't know any better, she'd think Charlie was screwing with someone. She snorted at the absurdity of the thought. The day Estrellia Charlotte Pedrosa had pre-marital sex was the day when Scarlet and Isabelle would stop being afraid of cockroaches - which is to say, NEVER.

As the footfalls retreated down the hallway, Roberto began to kiss Stella again. She reached down between them to unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans. There was a swish as the garment slid down his legs and, stepping out of it, he kicked it to one side.

"Don't you ever wear underpants?" remarked Stella.

"Do you think that I could get them off right now?" he countered, and she observed the salient reason standing out from his hips.

"Ah, I see," she began. "We had better do something about that. So you can get your jeans back on, that is. But quietly."

"Oh so quietly, then," he replied and moved forward quickly again, scooping his hands under her buttocks and tipping up her pelvis slightly.

Stella could not believe it, for the next second he was inside her as swiftly as he had managed to get his head between her legs. Oh, Goddess and it felt so good, too. Her legs had slid down the backs of his thighs now and, as he moved back and forth, it was all she could to do keep from crying out again as she felt the sensations of ecstasy start to build once more.

He concentrated within, moving Elya about so that he got the best reactions from both her and himself. She was light in his hands and a complete and utter pleasure. Goddess, he was going to pass out in a\ minute, his legs would give way and they'd both come crashing down on the floor. Now that would never do. A Galadhrim guardian, passing out in the line of f…ing glorious duty. He planted his feet firmly in the carpet, increased the pace, felt Elya shudder against him and yell her head off. Then he was doing the same, the waves of rapture running down his thighs and across his stomach. He gave one last thrust, an impassioned finale that propelled Elya backwards into the windowpane. It flew open with the unaccustomed collision, banged sharply against the side of the house and shattered, fragments of glass tinkling down the walls.

"Goddess!" cried Stella. Now they'd done it.

"I better go, right away," said Roberto, pulling unceremoniously out of Stella and fishing about for his clothing. "Get into bed quickly and don't forget to ring me later on."

She shuffled hurriedly off the windowsill, rubbing the accumulated moisture off it with the curtain and gave him a quick kiss in passing. "I love you, Haldir," she breathed, on her way to the bed.

"I love you dearly, melamin," he replied, smiling and buckling the belt of his jeans.

Taking the rest of his clothing he leapt straight from the windowsill into the oak tree, just as the spare key turned in the bedroom door and Uncle Andrew stormed in. Roberto had made his descent and was running across the lawn by the time the old man was glaring out of his niece's bedroom window to check the damage. Fortunately his sight was not good enough to observe the fair-haired elf careening over his property towards the gate.

"What in bloody hell is going on here, Charlie?!" demanded Andrew as turned to his niece, who was sitting up in bed, wide-eyed as if she had just had a horrible fright.

Stella shook her head, hoping with all her might that her uncle would not notice the state she was in - or if he did, that he would think that she had been tossing and turning around a lot in bed. "I'm...I'm sorry Tito Andrew, but...I woke up because of this utterly horrid nightmare, and Michelle even came here to check up on me. I told her I was okay, but I opened the window because I thought some fresh air would do me some good. And then this HUGE bat comes flying out of nowhere, and nearly hit me! I tried to throw the window open, hoping to smash it against the bat, but it flew away before I could hit it, and then the window just smashed against the wall." She bowed her head, making it look as if it were in contrition, when in reality she was trying to hide the blush that was staining her cheeks. "I'm sorry if I caused such a ruckus."

"What is going on here?" Tita Mabel had entered the room just then. She glanced at the window, then at her niece. "Dios mio hija, what happened?" She was sitting beside Stella in a moment, fussing over her like a little girl.

Stella repeated the story, causing her aunt to gasp.

"Really?" Mabel turned to her husband. "It's going to be alright, darling. Stella's always had these nightmare bouts, she'll be fine. And I'm glad that bat didn't hurt her - those things carry rabies, you know!"

Stella relaxed, her breathing easing up a little when she saw the tension bleed out of her uncle. "Well, if that's what you say..." He glanced at the window again, and shook his head. "Better a window broken than you getting rabies, I suppose." He yawned, and started walking out the door. "Anyway, I think I'll try and go back to sleep." With that, he trudged out of the room.

Mabel sighed as she watched her husband, then turned to look at her niece with a comforting smile. "Don't worry about it, Charlie. Just go and get some sleep, alright? Just close the curtains, at the very least, before you do so that you don't catch your death of cold from the draft."

"Yes Tita," Stella replied obediently, and waited until her aunt had left the room and closed the door behind her. Once that had happened, she slumped down against the pillows, her heart pounding from both the aftereffects of lovemaking and from the realization of just how close they had come to being discovered. She hadn't been kidding when she told Roberto that her aunt would have his head on her mantel if she caught him with Stella: Filipino aunts, mothers, and grandmothers are some of the most vindictive in the world, especially where it concerned the chasitity and virtue of their nieces, daughters and granddaughters.

She blinked, and scowled when she remembered one slight hitch in her plan for the hacienda visit. When she got to the hacienda she had to make sure that her room was, in one way or another, soundproofed, or if not, then at least she would find a place where she and Roberto could spend time undisturbed and without calling undue attention.

But in the meantime, such thoughts could wait. She yawned, her eyes sliding shut without her even realizing it. Lovemaking was wonderful, but it was a tiring business all by itself.

In moments, she was sound asleep.

--~*~--

And the moral of the story is: if you're going to make out, don't do it on a windowsill where you're probably going to end up breaking the glass and waking up the entire household ^_~.

~ Harle

2003-11-01T22:19:00.000+08:00

Samhain Mayhem, Dragon Guardians, Initiation and The Last Unicorn

The unicorn lived in a lilac wood, and she lived all alone...

~ first line of Peter S. Beagle's "The Last Unicorn

It is somewhat late at night (ten minutes to ten, to be precise), and in spite of the lack of sleep from the mayhem of Samhain, I am still very much hyped up from what happened ^_^.

As some of you may already know from Mel and Mai's blogs, the three of us ladies had a wonderful night at Mel's house, having managed to pull through with the plan to get together for Samhain. To all you non-Pagans out there, Samhain is something like the New Year's Eve of Wiccans and witches, and also the night when the gates between worlds are thrown wide open, allowing us beings on this plane to access them, and naturally for the beings on the other side to get to this one - IF they know how to and IF they want to, naturally.

Anyway, prior to that we had a WONDERFUL dinner c/o Mel's mom. Tita makes the most DEEEE-LICIOUS baked chicken I have EVER tasted! It ranks right up there with my paternal Lola's chicken curry, my maternal Lola's turbo-roasted chicken, and my mom's chicken lollipops as some of the yummiest chicken dishes I have ever tasted ^_^.

After dinner we all hied off to Mel's room, and spent some time laughing over the idea of Hugo Weaving in drag (yes Mai, I haven't forgotten how much we laughed over that one ^_~), as well as devoting some time to Kissing 101 - mostly involving practicing kissing on our fists (you dirty minded people you! We weren't practicing on each other!). According to my two professors (Mel and Mai), I'm too stiff when I kiss, but hey, they can't exactly blame me. I've never tried kissing anyone before, though I have imagined trying to kiss certain people. You folks know who those people are...

Later on, we started rifling through Mel's DVDs - particularly the special-edition DVDs that came along with the original DVD versions of FOTR and TTT. As Mel said in her blog, her Orli-fangirlishness is starting to come out again, but it's all in good fun ^_^. At least Mel isn't a shrieking schoolgirl like some Orli fans are...

--~*~--

I'm still in semi-shock after all that's just happened...

I have met a majority of my dragon guardians already. First there is Khayeseadae, who is the one who hangs around me all the time on this plane and keeps me company. For Samhain, she told me to call in my other guardians from the other planes. Like I said earlier, during Samhain the gates are wide open, so it's easier for beings on this plane to make contact with those on other planes and vice-versa.

So I did just that - and ended up with something approaching mass mayhem. Mel's room had four or five nameless dragonets zipping around (one was constantly flying overhead in circles), while three large dragons sat just outside and peered into the room via Mel's windows.

One of them was Sek. That's not his full name, but he prefers to be called that way, especially by his "charges," so to speak. He has midnight-blue scales and deep amber eyes. He's just reached his maturity, but he still acts rather childish. He's very talkative, and is also something of a jokester.

The other one was named Salamanca. He isn't one of my dragons, but he's Monsieur Liam's. Salamanca has steel-gray scales and dark silver eyes. He's just reached his maturity, like Sek, but unlike said dragon Salamanca is more serious and reticent.

The third dragon is perhaps the most distinguised. He won't tell me his real name, though he did mention that it started with an A, so working on that I decided to name him Abelard - or Lord Abelard, giving him the title that I sensed he deserved. Lord Abelard is apparently a well-respected elder, which only makes my being under his care a lot more significant and flattering. Lord Abelard has black scales with a hint of a metallic sheen to them, and hazel-green eyes. However, his left eye is scarred closed - though how THAT incident came about something I felt I had no right to ask.

--~*~--

That night, I had the weirdest dream - or rather, it should't be weird because Khayeseadae told me it was bound to happen.

Technically speaking, I was "initiated," meaning I was placed under the official care of Khayeseadae, Sek and Lord Abelard. I don't remember much of the dream, but I do sort of get the gist of it: basically it had something to do with Sek, Khayeseadae and Lord Abelard accepting me as their charge, and me accepting them as my guardians.

...I will add more details as soon as they come back to me - if they come back at all...

--~*~--

I MANAGED TO GET A COPY OF THE LAST UNICORN BY PETER S. BEAGLE!!! This is the SAME NOVEL on which the beautiful cartoon of the same name was based! It cost me a whopping 839 Php, but my copy was only one of two left, so I snapped it up while I had the chance.

*sniffles* Poor Amalthea and Lir...they never had a chance to be together, did they...?

~ Harle

2003-10-29T21:20:00.000+08:00

Moving in Two Years' Time and Other Things

"We're going to New Zealand."

"Huh? Really?! When? I hope you schedule it during my sem break so I can enjoy the vacation fully."

"We're not going for a vacation. Two years from now, we're all going to migrate. I want you to graduate first, and then we'll go. Your sister can finish her studies there. But don't tell your dad for now, okay?"

~ conversation with my mom in the car on the way home today

I REALLY have a hard time trying to believe what my mom just said, but apparently it's true. My mom fully intends to relocate the family to Kiwi Country - even if she knows my dad won't want to come. That's why it's supposed to be a secret from him. But even as I type, my mom's already making ready all the necessary preparations for the move.

"It's still two years," Mel may have said to me over text when I informed her of it, but two years isn't enough time for me to enjoy it here.

"Things can change in two years." That was Mel again over the phone just now. And that is something I'm REALLY hoping for.

Had this bit of news come to me earlier this year, I might have accepted it with good cheer and many, many supersonic squeals, because at that time, I was at the height of my Mark Ferguson obsession. But now, the move does not appeal to me anymore. I've realized that the idea entails leaving too many things and too many people behind me - things that are far too precious to me, and people that I love too much, like:

FAMILY ~ I will miss my family, fragmented and torn though it may be at the moment. I'll miss many of my beloved cousins. I may not be as close to some of them as I'd like to be, but nevertheless, I'd still miss them. If I could uproot my entire clan and take them with me to New Zealand, I would, but that's impossible, isn't it?

I don't exactly relish the idea of having my OWN family torn apart. After all, Mom doesn't want Dad to know about the proposed move, so I can only assume that she will let Dad stay here for as long as he wants, and then follow us at his leisure. But until then, he'll be out of my life. And while I may complain about wanting him out of my hair, I don't really like the idea of leaving him behind.

FRIENDS (most especially The Pan the on) ~ It'll be leaving these people that'll hurt the most. In the short span of time that The Pantheon was formed (girls, one-year anniversary na ata natin ^_^!), so much has happened. We've seen each other through hell and high water, literally and figuratively speaking. We've performed a pact that has forged a bond between us that not even the journey to the next plane of existence can break.

And I'll miss not just The Pantheon, but my other friends as well, like Hope, Flip, Do-aho, Doggie-nii-chan, Marty, Liam (yes Mel, THAT Liam) who is now my Kuya-figure, and my old high school classmates whom I still consider to be good friends. I am not prepared to leave these people behind, not just yet. I love all of them too much to be able to let them go.

MAC ~ What hurts most of all, I guess, is having to leave him behind. I suppose that it was either going to be him (leaving permanently for Dubai) or me (going abroad to further my studies, as I mentioned in a previous entry, I think) who was going to do the leaving, but I didn't think that in the end, it'd be me who'd come so close to REALLY doing it.

He doesn't have all the time in the world to dawdle anymore. If he really wants a serious relationship with me, then he's going to have to haul ass. At this rate, I cannot afford to wait two more years, because if everything pushes through, he'll never get a chance because I'll be far, far away. I don't care what other people say about taking it slowly for now; everything's changed. The situation's changed. THIS has changed everything. I no longer have the luxury of time, and neither does he.

But then again, maybe it's better for the situation between us to remain the way it is. After all, I might be leaving in two years, and I don't want to hurt him by having a relationship and then breaking it off when I leave. He's been hurt three times over in the past; I don't want to be Number Four.

And now, onto the "things" I will miss the most:

PINOY MUSIC ~ There will no more Parokya ni Edgar, no more Barbie's Cradle, no more Freestyle, no more South Border, no more Eraserheads, no more Nyoy Volante, no more Paolo Santos...basically, no more good OPM. And I can't LIVE with that. However, I will NOT miss the Masculados, the Sexbomb Girls, Aegis, the April Boys, Salbakuta and all their ilk, and that downright disgusting Ocho-Ocho Song *barfs*.

PINOY FOOD ~ Need I say more? I may not have problems when I get a craving for Starbucks or McDonalds, but what if I start craving for adobo, nilaga, sinigang, and daing? What will I do when I start salivating for hilaw na mangga at bagoong or balut? What if I want to eat palabok, fishball-ala-lutong kalye and chicharon? These are things I will not find in New Zealand. I doubt if I'll even be able to find decent RICE there, and as every Pinoy knows, a meal isn't a meal unless it has rice. And even if there WERE rice available there, I bet that it'd be too damn expensive for us to even want to buy unless we're really, REALLY craving for it.

I will miss all the home cooking that my lolas and other older relatives are so good at doing. I will miss all the homecooked varieties of a majority of the food items I mentioned above. Lapid's Chicharon is the best chicharon in the world, and I don't think they export the stuff to New Zealand. And I will forever miss the palabok sold at the wet market in Sta. Ana, if we do make the move.

Besides, I heard that the food outside of Southeast Asia tends to be bland. I LIKE my food well-flavored, thank you very much.

PINOY LANGUAGE ~ Yes, I will miss talking in Tagalog, and I will miss the cadences of Ilonggo and Cebuano when Mai and Mel are talking. When I get to New Zealand I might never get the opportunity to talk in Tagalog ever again once we make the move, and what will happen to me then? I dread to think of losing my ability to speak Tagalog properly simply because I've acquired an accent from living there for so long.

That's the undeniable truth: no matter how much we try to avoid picking up the accent of a particular people, we eventually DO pick it up because we CONVERSE with the people of that particular place and HEAR them talk all the time all around us. The only way I'll be able to maintain the slight non-accent I have (which comes from speaking in Tagalog every so often), I'll have to talk in Tagalog almost as frequently, if not MORE frequently, than when I was at home.

I will miss all the nuances of the language, especially the euphemisms and many of the words that bear a double meaning. And I doubt the people in New Zealand will find me funny or clever or witty because their cultural background is different from mine, and what I have to say they might not find the least bit funny or witty. And many people know how much I thrive on wit and on clever remarks, especially when talking to people I am unfamiliar with.

PINOY LITERATURE AND THEATER ~ I speak of Pinoy literature in English, and yes, even in Filipino - even if I'm not that good with the latter. I will have no access to quality Pinoy literature in New Zealand, unless some writer or other becomes super-famous and wins a Nobel Prize or a Pulitzer or a Booker or something like that. I've become quite attuned to the Palanca Awards, especially in the contest for fiction, and if I move, I won't be able to keep up with it anymore.

There are so many other things that I will miss, but these are the most important things. While one part of me tells me that I ought to take this chance to get out of this country, but still...it's HOME. It's been so for eighteen wonderful years of my life. While there might be a few things about the Philippines that I don't like, there are more things here that have become close to my heart. It'll always be home, no matter where in the world I may go, and no place will feel like it ever.

--~*~--

The odd thing about the above announcement is that I should have seen it coming. In fact, it mirrors FAR TOO ACCURATELY this little real-life based fic that I've been writing.

First of all is the time of the move, which is two years from now. In my fic, I move to New Zealand two years from the current time period.

Second, the adoption of a certain person as my Kuya-figure. In the fic (which, like I said, takes place two years after the present day), Liam is already well-established as my Kuya-figure. Just today, I asked him if he could be my Kuya, and he agreed to it.

I've had this happen to me before, once: the things that I write down suddenly come true. But this is the first time that it's been so damn ACCURATE that it's frightening.

--~*~--

There were other things today, as well as yesterday, that seemed to bode the coming of the announcement.

Last Tuesday, I was alone in Coffee Club after my Spanish class, so I texted Mac under the assumption that he was out of class at the moment. He was indeed out, like I had suspected, and I asked him to come to Coffee Club and keep me company.

He did come, and we fell to talking about a lot of things. Somehow, the subject eventually touched on my severe infatuation with Mark Ferguson. I told him that my chances with the man were FAR too slim, seeing that he lived all the way over THERE and that Monsieur Ferguson didn't know me at all. I also told him that I was looking for someone closer to home. But it seems that what I said will backfire on me.

Then just today, aside from the events I mentioned above, there was something else. We (meaning me, Liam, Mai and Isis) went to Pancake House because Starbucks was full, and the minute I enter the premises, what song was playing over the sound system?

And I got all that I need
Right here in the passenger seat...

Yes folks, the song playing that moment was Passenger Seat of Stephen Speaks. As quite a few people in the barkada know, this used to be my theme song for Mark Ferguson in many of my fics - majority of which I set in New Zealand (not anymore though: my theme song for Mr. Ferguson now is When It Doesn't Matter of Angela Ammons, taken from the More Save the Last Dance OST).

All these, in conjuction with the two other events I related above, all seemed to point to the announcement that was going to hit me the moment I jumped into the car when I was picked up.

Uncanny... And more than a little creepy...

--~*~--

"Ate, I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of this. It's not like something's going to happen."

"You know, you're right. Maybe I shouldn't have opened my big mouth about it. Maybe I should've just kept my opinion to myself."

"Yeah, maybe you should have just kept quiet."

And that, my friends, is the conversation I had with my sister when I brought up the topic of the move. Apparently my sister knew already (I think my mom told her when she came home), and she doesn't believe that it's going to happen.

Fine, I know that she's entitled to her opinion, but that's not the issue here. See the last line she told me? THAT'S the reason why I don't like talking to my family about my problems. They think that I make a big deal about something like this, and of other things as well. They think that simply because I worry about something that I shouldn't worry about means they have the right to tell me off and say NOT to worry about it.

What REALLY bites about this arrangement is that when my sister whines about her own troubles, I just sit there and listen to her and not say anything back. I try to be supportive, I try to be encouraging to her, and then she calms down and moves on with her life.

But does she do the same for me? No. Never has, and never will. That's why I don't like talking to her about my own problems: she puts them down, makes them seem smaller. And what does she throw back at me? That I have a fucking attitude problem, and she doesn't like it. She keeps on saying that I've changed, but when I ask her how, all she tells me is that I have to find out for myself.

Well I DO have an attitude problem. Big revelation, huh? I didn't know up till now that being human was such a crime. And as for the changes in my attitude... I'm SORRY that I had to grow a SPINE all of a sudden and that since I DID I've stopped her from walking all over me all the time. And I'm SORRY for thinking that she would be concerned about my well being.

I love my parents and all, but my sister? Fuck her. Fuck her to hell, and she can damn well stay there for all I care. Never once did I belittle her problems, though they're so fucking shallow sometimes that I don't even see the point in discussing them. But do I complain? Have I EVER complained about that to her? N-fucking-O. Why? Because I have to play the role of a Supportive Older Sister, and when I don't play the role, my sister gets mad at me, and when that happens, my parents get mad at me too. But do I protest? N-fucking-O. Why? Because it's rude to answer back to your parents even if you're eighteen and fucking legal already. Even if I'm old enough to lead my own bloody life.

But do they listen? Does anybody outside of my friends even tries to hear me out?

N-fucking-O.

...

......

.........

I'm signing out now, before I break something.

~ Harle

2003-10-21T15:55:00.000+08:00

What's Love Got to Do With It?

Maybe you should have checked your second voodoo curse. There is a message
there.

"I love you."

That's what it said.

But hey, I understand if you deem me a freak...

I believe I was born one.

And I like me that way...

~ second email from "Patrick," received on my Hotmail account

"Patrick," I REALLY hope you know that this is beginning to irritate the hell out of me.

Let's get something straight here, alright? When people send me voodoo curses, the implication I get is "hate mail in the first degree," which is not something I want to spend precious time and energy reading. And after I received the first one, well...let's just say that I didn't even FEEL like opening the second one. Cheesy as this may sound in the deodorant commercial, first impressions DO last, and the first impression you sent me was not very nice at all.

And second of all: how can you say that you love me when you haven't even TALKED to me? What is it about me that's gotten you so hooked? I don't get it. I'm not exactly as pretty as some other girls in school are, so I highly doubt if it was my physical features that got you. And we haven't spoken to each other, so you can't say that it was my wit or my charm or whatever drivel some men actually spout out. And you can't say it was my personality either, because we haven't met, so you cannot judge my personality exactly. You can't say you love somebody unless you've known that person at least to some extent. The thing with you is, you DON'T know me to ANY extent that would qualify for a serious romantic relationship. What do you know about me that you think will qualify for a romantic relationship?

Thirdly, why package your profession of your supposed love for me in a voodoo curse, of all things? You may earn some points for twisted creativity, but you don't earn ANY points for impressing me.

And as for being a freak...congratulations for getting the strength to admit that. We're all freaks in one way or another; it's just that some people are too scared to admit that they are, in their own little way, freaks. And I applaud you for being so at home with yourself. Very few people are like that.

If you're reading this, why don't you answer my questions, hm? Prove to me that what I've just said doesn't apply to you.

~ Harle

2003-10-19T19:06:00.000+08:00

Everyone's A Little Crazy...

"Everybody's a little crazy."

"You sure about that?"

"Sure I'm sure. It's the normal people you have to worry about. They're the ones who don't show their inner insanity, so when it DOES come out...you know what happens. That's how serial killers are made."

~ conversation with my cousin

This is SO true:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Definitions of the disorders with high potentiality:

Dependent ~ Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. They often remain in abusive relationships. They are overly sensitive to disapproval. They often feel helpless and depressed.

Avoidant ~ Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.

Histrionic ~ People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.

I think the avoidant personality type holds most true for me...

~ Harle

2003-10-19T14:16:00.000+08:00

Of Unknown Knaves and Voodoo Curses

I'm sorry I sent you that voodoo curse.

I only wanted to catch your attention.

I've seen you in McDonald's often every Wednesday, or in Coffee Club.
You are oblivious, and I doubt you'd see me in the fringes of that crowd
that walk past you.

I wanted you to see me.

~ quoted from the email sent to me by a certain "Patrick" apologizing for the spate of voodoo curses I've been getting

If you will all remember, I posted up an entry entitled "Somebody Out There Hates Me, and I Don't Give a Fuck" about someone who sent me a voodoo curse from the website pinstruck.com. I didn't bother opening that email, and neither did I bother opening the one that was sent to my Hotmail account. Yes, those voodoo curses were sent to me twice, though the second one was sent to my Hotmail account, and not to my Yahoo.

Anyway, see the thing I posted above? That one came in an email from a person supposedly named "Patrick." Anyway, as you can see, the guy's apologized for sending me those voodoo curses, and that he was doing it so that I'd attract his attention.

And I suddenly wonder: do I look THAT unapproachable that people would resort to sending me voodoo curses just to get my attention?

Maybe because this "Patrick" knows that I'm a witch, and thought that sending me voodoo curses would equate to an "adorable" hi-hello. Well, it isn't all that cute - in spite of what Mel says about the voodoo curse. She saw it, after all, and thought it was kinda cute. I didn't bother opening the first or the second, so I wouldn't really know.

If you're reading this "Patrick," let's get one thing straight: yes, I WILL ignore people unless they come up to me and introduce themselves. I don't recognize your name, and I can't put a face to it, either. The only Patrick I know is my cousin, and he isn't even in La Salle - he's somewhere training to be a pilot. What's more, that Patrick doesn't have my email addresses.

Secondly, I am less likely to respond in a favorable manner if I get sent stuff like online voodoo curses - in fact, I think that my response is a mild case. I know of people who would respond in worse ways than I have.

Look dude, I don't mean to discourage you or anything, though now I AM quite wary of you after what you've done. Still, I'm not about to slam the door in your face just yet. A fair warning to you though: DON'T TRY ANYTHING FUNNY LIKE THAT VOODOO CURSE SHIT. If you REALLY want me to see you, then walk up to me and introduce yourself. That never killed anyone before in real life, did it?

To my dearest darling sisters...well, we'll talk about this when next we can all meet, okay? If we won't be able to meet (you know who you people are...), you know where to reach me via text.

~ Harle

2003-10-17T18:37:00.000+08:00

Poetry

Your body will age, you will continue to need.
You will want the earth, then more of the earth--

Sublime, indifferent, it is present, it will not respond.
It is encompassing, it will not minister.

~ quoted from the poem "The Sensual World" by Louise Gluck

We've been doing a lot of reading regarding poetry in my Advanced Writing class lately, and of all the selections that've been given to us for reading, I'll post up my favorites.

--~*~--

A Valediction: Forbidden Mourning
By: John Donne

As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends to say
The breath goes now, and some say, No;

So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move,
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity of our love.

Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears,
Men reckon what it did and meant;
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers' love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.

But we by a love so much refined
That our selves know not what it is,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.

Out two souls, therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to airy thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.

--~*~--

We Are Made One with What We Touch and See
By: Oscar Wilde

We are resolved into the supreme air,
We are made one with what we touch and see,
With our heart's blood each crimson sun is fair,
With our young lives each spring-impassioned tree
Flames into green, the wildest beasts that range
The moor our kinsmen are, all life is one, and all is change.

With beat of systole and of diastole
One grand great life throbs through earth's giant heart,
And mighty waves of single Being roll
From nerve-less germ to man, for we are part
Of every rock and bird and beast and hill,
One with the things that prey on us, and one with what we kill. . . .

One sacrament are consecrate, the earth
Not we alone hath passions hymeneal,
The yellow buttercups that shake for mirth
At daybreak know a pleasure not less real
Than we do, when in some fresh-blossoming wood
We draw the spring into our hearts, and feel that life is good. . . .

Is the light vanished from our golden sun,
Or is this daedal-fashioned earth less fair,
That we are nature's heritors, and one
With every pulse of life that beats the air?
Rather new suns across the sky shall pass,
New splendour come unto the flower, new glory to the grass.

And we two lovers shall not sit afar,
Critics of nature, but the joyous sea
Shall be our raiment, and the bearded star
Shoot arrows at our pleasure! We shall be
Part of the mighty universal whole,
And through all Aeons mix and mingle with the Kosmic Soul!

We shall be notes in that great Symphony
Whose cadence circles through the rhythmic spheres,
And all the live World's throbbing heart shall be
One with our heart, the stealthy creeping years
Have lost their terrors now, we shall not die,
The Universe itself shall be our Immortality!

--~*~--

*sighs* I am in love with the latter poem...

~ Harle

2003-10-16T18:46:00.000+08:00

Some Things to Share

But what I'm seeing now
Will last beyond all Time
So let me ask just when and how
Was Jealousy ever a crime?

~ 6th stanza of my poem "In This Chair"

*sighs as she looks at the stanza above* Pretty, isn't it? It seems I've begun to write poetry again. It's in the same style I used to do: four lines per stanza and with alternating rhyme scheme. Mel is going to be using it for her current pet project, and she just MIGHT turn it into a song. When I have the time, I'll put up the entire version here.

Writing poetry has been something I missed doing the whole time last year. Ever since someone in the Impenetrable Circle (I'll explain who these people to those who ask me; it's too risky to say who they are here) poured a good deal of acid on one of my pet poems, I decided that poetry was DEFINITELY not for me, and stuck to prose. Why was acid poured on my work? For the plain and simple fact that I like using rhymes.

I know that rhyming is rather outdated, but it never really bothered me before. I liked the fact that when I recited some of my older poems, it sounded as if all that was lacking was a melody and they'd be songs in their own right. There was once a point that my poetry had a Impressionist feel to them: airy, light, and dreamy. Now, that particular batch of poems I can no longer find, because I lost the notebook I placed them in.

Oh well...

--~*~--

I know that Mel has cautioned me against spending a lot of my time online, but the Arda Reborn RPG is just too dang fun, especially when Anand (playing Haldir aka Roberto Pereira) seems more than happy to have some "fun" with my character, Stella. I'll put up the latest roundelay of emails that we've been having:

She stared at the ceiling, watching the play of moonlight and shadow across it, and sighed. 'This isn't going anywhere, is it?'

She turned over onto her side, and threw her arms around her pillow, sighing as she pressed her cheek against the cool, soft cotton. She closed her eyes and imagined that he was here, beside her, that the pillow was not a pillow but his shoulder or his chest, that her cheek was resting not against cold cloth, but warm flesh. Using all the faculties of her imagination, she tried to conjure his image in her mind's eye. She tried to bring him to life beside her - here, but not here at all.

She conjured his eyes - blue like the endless sea that surrounded the tropical islands of her homeland, with the glimmer of heaven's immortal stars in their depths. She conjured his hair, tried to remember the feel of the strands in her fingers, and she imagined that if the silkweavers ever learned to capture the color of the Sun's rays in summertime in the threads they spun, only then would she find something to compare to his locks.

A tremor passed through her when she remembered his voice - that gentle sound that passed through her ears like the melody of the spheres. His voice was the spell that kept the nightmares at bay, that made her feel safe and wanted.

She remembered his touch and his kisses, so gentle, so loving, and she wondered - no, she KNEW - that nothing would ever be able to compare to that. It would take a thousand lifetimes - maybe even an eternity of Time - to be rid of the yearning she felt for the touch of his fingers and the feel of his lips.

She loved him, she knew, more deeply than she had ever loved before: more deeply than Armand, more deeply than Ethan.

She groaned as she rolled onto her back, and sat up. 'This is hell,' she told herself with finality. She slipped on a robe, and tiptoed down the stairs to the ground floor, heading for the living room where the phone was.

She sat down on the couch, and picked up the phone, praying with all her might that Roberto was still awake, and that he would answer.

Some time passed as Roberto mused over Elya. His consciousness reached out and ascertained that she was still in London although she seemed a little harrassed and he hoped she was alright.

He also determined that Gella had left the club along with another male elf. He felt reassured that this particular elf had felt calm, delightful and obviously in full command of their considerable faculties. It was not someone whom he had met before but this person certainly had merit aplenty and he looked forward to making his acquaintance.

Stretching out a little further in the vicinity of Gella's house, for the elves seemed to congregate there, he searched for any familiar fea. The Samadhi just now had appeared to strengthen his powers. Forgiveness, itself, was a great power indeed he introspected. Ah! Now that was familiar. It felt like someone he had known from the distant past, someone truly renowned. He had an impression of Noldo and human wrapt up in mystical Vidya – true knowledge. That could only mean one person – Lord Elrond had returned to Arda. He resolved to pay a visit to Gella'a abode as soon as possible.

He looked at his cell phone again and wondered about Elya. Should he visit her tomorrow now that she'd had time to consider her feelings about him? He was apprehensive. What if she'd decided she didn't want any more to do with him? He nearly jumped out of his skin when the phone actually rang. Goddess, he was in a state. He clicked on a button and answered the call. "Hallo? Roberto Pereira speaking."

A bit of the emptiness in Stella's being was filled when she heard his voice. It was, to her, pure magic. "Hey Haldir. It's me, Stella." She paused, taking note of the tone of his voice when he had answered. "Did I call at a bad time?" She blushed. "I...I couldn't sleep, thinking of you, and I can't take it, so I called. Just wanted to talk to you - if you're not busy, that is."

"Hallo, Elya, Darling? No, I'm not busy. I had a strange but revealing encounter with someone just now, that's all."

His mood immediately lightened. So she hadn't forgotten about him at all, in fact just the opposite.

"You can't sleep? I could come over and do something that would take your mind off all thoughts of sleep! I'm an accomplished climber of trees so to scale the wall of a house would present absolutely no problem. If you leave your window open and tell me which one it is, no-one except you will even know I'm there."

Stella's eyes widened at the idea, even as a thrill made her stomach shiver in delight. "Are you sure you want to risk that? My aunt will have your head over her fireplace for a trophy if she ever finds out you're here in her house - and in my room, no less!"

Still, the idea of him being here with her was much more appealing than spending the rest of the night alone and pining away for him. "Well, if you want to risk it... The house is number 26, Culross Street. If you go round the back, you'll find a big oak tree standing there, screening one of the windows from view. That window's mine. I'll leave it open for you." She giggled, even as her heart began to pick up pace in her chest. "Come as soon as you can. I'll be waiting for you." She paused. "I'll put the phone down now, and make sure everyone's asleep. I love you." And with that, she placed the phone down in its cradle as silently as she could.

Giddy with excitement, she padded her way up to her room, locking the door behind her. She moved to her window, and slid one of the panes open, moonlight pouring into the room.

She sighed, and glanced at the mirror of her dressing table. She was wearing a soft blue spaghetti strap cotton top with a matching pair of drawstring cotton shorts. Not exactly as romantic as she would have wanted for this Romeo and Juliet-ish meeting, but it would have to do. Besides, it wasn't like what she was wearing was going to make any difference.

Covering her mouth with one hand to stifle her giggles, she jumped into bed to wait for her lover.

Stella's parts were written by me, and Roberto's parts were written by Anand.

*giggles* Good, isn't it?

--~*~--

On to more serious things: Kai's in trouble.

BIG trouble.

I'm only too glad that Charlie-doggy was with her when she last texted...couldn't reply because I was too caught up in things that needed to be done, and because I was totally, utterly speechless. Even now I don't know what to say.

I can only hope that she's safe and sound...

~ Harle

2003-10-12T10:11:00.000+08:00

Somebody Out There Hates Me, and I Don't Give a Fuck

"Who gives a flying fuck?"

"Apparently that person does."

"But you don't, do you?"

"No. Why should I? It's just an email."

~ conversation with my cousin concerning the email I received

Apparently, somebody out there hates me enough to send me a curse from that email voodoo site Pinstruck.com. I am in no mood to look at it, but if any of you people are, you can view it here.

Also, there is enough evidence to point out that this person is from school. Why? The email addy through which I received said curse was the email addy I use for school purposes. Yes, I have a personal email addy, which I like to keep separate from the rest of the world. And besides, the personal email addy tends to get flooded REAAAAL quick, so why should I waste precious space on garbage like the one above?

This person - whoever it may be - has a personal vendetta against me but doesn't seem to know how to voice it out in real life. So it stoops down to this level to get even. Jeez, as if I'D care to look at something as inane as that. Just goes to show how many gutless cowards there are in the world today.

Anyway, this person ought to know that sending me hate mail isn't the best way to lash out at me. After all, I have a friend called the "Delete" button that comes in very handy when I have mail I don't want to read.

~ Harle

2003-10-11T11:23:00.000+08:00

I Like to Maintain the Quality of my Company

"He looks like a Pinoy Orli Bloom!"

~ quoted from Mel at Starbucks yesterday

Hehehe ^_^. Behold the evil grin on my face as I recall the events of yesterday.

I was in Starbucks early in the morning, and I was waiting for Mel to get out of class so we could talk, when this old friend of mine from my Alge101 class last term came in. Just in case he knows about this blog (though I HIGHLY doubt that), I will use the codename Marc for him.

Anyway, he walked in, and he greeted me with a clasp of the hands and a kiss on the cheek. He sat down with me, and we started talking about how life was going and what we had been up to since the last time we had seen each other. He's also taking up Literature, so he asked me about what had happened when I took the entrance exam to the program. As we were discussing what would probably come out in the exam, Mel came along, and so I introduced her to Marc.

When Marc found out that Mel was also a writer, he made us an offer that we simply could not resist: we would paraphrase articles of interest from one of the major daily broadsheets, and these articles would then be printed in a newspaper that would be sold to the Filipino community in New York. In exchange for our efforts, Marc said he was willing to pay us 200-250 pesos per article. That means receiving 400-500 a WEEK or more if we work hard and put out two articles every week! *peso signs flash in her eyes as she rubs her hands* Ooh, I can see da MONEY!

Anyway, later on Marc's friend Kenji came by, and we fell into discussing Lord of the Rings and such. Apparently Kenji wants Peter Jackson to remake The Silmarillion (as do I). And Kenji and I agree that the things we want to see the most are Valinor and Melkor/Morgoth on the big screen ^_^. Imagine...Tirion upon Tuna, City of the Crystal Stairway...the Swan Havens of Alqualonde...and Valimar, the city of the Valar...all that in lovely full-color and spread across the movie screen... *sighs dreamily*

And let's not forget all the ELVES! Dang...Feanor and all his seven droolable sons (MAGLOR!! AMROD!! AMRAS!!)... Drop-dead gorgeous Finrod (who was the fairest of the Noldor *mreow*) even though he's taken (lucky Amarie)... Echthelion and Beleg (there is something irresistible about Elven Wardens ^_~)... Thingol (he must've been damn cute if a demi-goddess fell in love with him)... And of course Ereinion Gil-galad at the height of his power *swoons*.

*sweatdrops* Oops, went off-topic back there. Anyway, when Marc and Kenji left, Mel was literally CHARMED, to say the least, by Marc. And I do have to admit, the man IS very charming. He ain't got that much in looks, admittedly, but what he lacks in that department he makes up for in a lot of other things that neither I nor Mel can put our fingers on.

*grins at Mel* I will not say much more beyond that. Let's hope that Mel will do the rest of the talking.

--~*~--

*bawls eyes out* TWO TOWERS HAS AN EXTENDED VERSION COMING OUT IN THE STATES ON NOVEMBER!!! Waaaah! I wanna see the Huorns!!!

And speaking of LOTR, Hope told me about this thing that REALLY HAPPENED during the shooting of ROTK. They were shooting what looked like this battle scene with Hugo Weaving (as Elrond) and Viggo Mortensen (as Aragorn), and everyone was dead-tired. Even Viggo was complaining - and that's amazing because Viggo RARELY ever does that. But the director didn't want to stop, not just yet. In the end, he gave in to a paltry five-minute break.

What did Hugo do?

He pulls up the hood of his costume, puts on a pair of sunglasses, and lifts his head while pushing the hood back. And, in true Agent Smith mode, he goes, "Mr. Aragorn..."

Needless to say, the director was so creeped out that he canceled shooting for the rest of the day.

Way to go Daddy Hu ^_~.

--~*~--

I can't believe what I just did...

I just joined friendster...

~ Harle

2003-10-05T11:53:00.000+08:00

On Dragons and Dragon Magick

Thou art seem to me a dreamer's song
Yet thou art more real than reverie
Shadowed winds try to rend your soul's song
Yet thou stands firm in thy melody.
Sometimes I fear I lose the way
And often do I falter on my journey.
But always, come end of day,
Thou opens my eyes to let me see
By powers both ancient and true
The road to Dragonhame, high and fair
Where new is old, and old is new
Away from toil and worry and care.
Hail! Masters of Dragonhame, fare thee well!
For dawn awakes me with the morning bell.

~ Sonnet "Farewell to Dragonhame" (modified version of Shakespeare's Sonnet 18)

Quiz I took a while ago:

I am a A Mist Dragon!

Hey, I took the http://dragonhame.com online Inner Dragon quiz and found out I am a Mist Dragon on the inside.

In the war between good and evil, a Mist Dragon tends to walk the fine line of Neutrality....
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon walks a fine line between Law and Chaos....
As far as magical tendancies, Your inner dragon has the ability to conquer the world of magic, but it will not be easy....
During combat situations, a true Mist Dragon prefers to defeat opponents by the use of spells and other tactics....
The Mist Dragon is a highly magical being. It makes it's home in moist areas, but seems to have the ability to appear in any fog or mist in any climate. It is unclear as to whether these dragons follow mist, or mist follows these dragons.'
The Mist Dragon is a grayish blue in color, and floats freely in air as though it were mist itself. The Mist Dragon never leaves tracks or traces of it's passing. These dragons move very gracefully and swiftly through their element.'
Mist Dragons are very free in nature and seem to be very unpredictable personalities. They are outspoken, and often are harbingers of great changes or happenings.
'
This Dragons favorite elements are: Willow Trees and Blue Agate

http://Dragonhame.Com

Will add more later.

~ Lady Harle

2003-10-04T18:27:00.000+08:00

Losses and Gains

"That was SOOO anime, sis!"

~ quoted from Maia or Ekai last Friday

The above statement was in lieu to the VERY stupid thing I did last Friday.

As the regular readers here may know, I promised myself in the spring-cleaning entry that I'd finally tell Mac about how I felt for him - even if it totally went against my usual nature. The only problem was, for most of the school week I was unable to find him. Sometime during the middle of the week there was some speculation that he was probably avoiding me (that particular tidbit came from Mel), and to be completely honest I was both relieved and frustrated: relieved because it delayed my inevitable confession, and frustrated because...well...I HAD promised myself I would tell him, and he wasn't making things any easier for me.

But it was during Friday morning that I was able to catch up to him. I was emerging from my first class of the day and was heading for Starbucks when I heard Mel call my name from the upper floor of Miguel Hall (my class is on the third floor; hers was on the fourth). She called me to go up, and I did.

As we were chatting and talking while waiting for her class to start, Mac came strolling along, also headed for his class. Mel told him to come up, and he protested, saying that he was going to be late for class. But Mel, being slightly B.I (bad influence) that day, persuaded him to be late for his class and come up and talk to us. Mac complied, and for a while we talked about all sorts of things - light banter meant to imply nothing to the issue at hand - after all the main reason Mel had asked him to come up was so that I could tell him already.

After a while, Mel decided that it would be a good time to get the ball rolling, so she told Mac that I had something to tell him. It took a while of pushing and prodding, but after a moment, I managed to screw up whatever courage I had, and, after a while of stuttering, spluttering, and generally making an idiot of myself, I coughed up this sentence:

"You know that girl in the Pantheon who likes you? Well, that girl's me."

After I'd managed to get those words out of my mouth, I turned on my heel, and walked away as fast as I could without looking back. Naturally, Mel just HAD to grab my backpack and tried to haul me back to Mac, but I managed to get away (damn, but that girl's STRONG, though...). I walked off without risking a glance over my shoulder.

Later that day, I reported the incident to Dani, and the girl laughed at me, calling me a wuss. I do have to admit though, she was right.

When Mel came along later, she said that Mac had this absolutely stunned look on his face, and that he stuttered and stammered before declaring that he had to go to class. That gave me some grim satisfaction, because that meant that I was able to fluster him to a certain degree.

When Mai and Kai came by later, I told them all about it, and they laughed, calling it a Meteor Garden moment. I am no San Cai though, and Mac sure as hell ain't no Dao Ming Shi.

Speaking of which, I OWE Dao Ming Shi a slap for irreverently tossing me into the back of that van like a sack of potatoes in my dream...

Now, the ball's COMPLETELY in Mac's court. Whether he takes the shot or not, is his decision. I've done all that I can. It's up to him now.

--~*~--

Something dreadful happened to me last Tuesday.

My special pouch, the one that holds my Tarot cards, runes and moonstone, was stolen, along with my glasses. They got stolen while I was on my way to the Instituto Cervantes for my Spanish classes.

This is a really, REALLY big blow to me. Of all the things they had to steal, it HAD to be my pouch. It holds some of the most important magickal implements I have: my Tarot deck and my runes.

However, there are consequences to stealing the things of a Wiccan, especially if those things happen to be related to her Craft. Goddess, I pray that you will aid me in my vengeance. May the one who stole my Tarot deck and my runes fall to such misfortune as you may deem worthy. As the Wiccan Rede says: "Mind the Threefold Law you should, Three Times Bad and Three Times Good." Do an evil turn, and evil shall return to you threefold.

--~*~--

With regards to the things that Mai, Kai, Mel, Dani and Isis are going through... Girls, stay strong. You're going to get through this. I know, I might be the optimist all the time, but I think you need your own doses of optimism. So keep looking up and looking forward. The world doesn't end at your problems, you know; it goes on and on, and will keep on going to a new - and hopefully better - day.

Blessed Be, Sisters.

~ Lady Harle

2003-09-27T17:34:00.000+08:00

"Call Me Ishmael." (or: What Happens When You Read Too Much Into One Chapter of Moby Dick

So be cheery, my lads, let your hearts never fail,
While the bold harpooner is striking the whale!

~ quoted by Herman Melville from a Nantucket song, which I quoted from "Extracts" in "Moby Dick"

When one is required to read a book that one has previously had no interest in, one is bound to read too much into one particular chapter - especially when one is forced to read said book because it is required in one's course.

Yep, I've been reading Herman Melville's Moby Dick, and I still have a LOOONG way to go. It's been a stop-and-start venture to read this, but I remembered that I have to get about reading it and soon because my midterm exams in my INTFICT (Introduction to Fiction) class will be all about it. And so, going against my nature with regards to my books, I've whipped out my trusty highlighter, and begun highlighting all the bits and pieces that catch my eye, paying close attention to names, places, descriptions and dialogue. I have to identify who said what and/or what describes which so that when the test comes, I will have no problems at all once the time for the test rolls around.

Anyway, as so happens when I am required to read a book, I tend to pay attention to the little details, the minutiae of said literary piece. And the first chapter alone has already yielded a whole bunch of thoughts and ideas for me to play around with. So forgive any ramblings I may go about right now, but I need a place to vent out all my theories, however stupid or silly they may be. For all I know, I could end up doing a paper on this work in the end.

In the first few pages of the book (pages 12-13 of the Bantam Classic Edition that was edited by Charles Child Walcutt), Ishmael discusses the human fascination with the sea. He talks about how all these people from farther inland spend so much money and time just to troop to the seaside and sit and stare at the great blue expanse of the ocean. He also talks about how water in any form - whether in a river or a stream or a waterfall - holds people in their thrall. Towards the end of his discourse he brings up the myth of Narcissus, the ill-fated youth in Greek mythology who is enchanted by his own reflection in a still pool, and in an attempt to reach that reflection, falls into the pool and drowns. He says that this image, this "ungraspable phantom of life," to quote from the novel itself, that is the key to understanding the human fascination with water.

The connection of water to the imagination and dreams...perhaps that is indeed why people find water so strange and so engaging. You can't hold water the way you can hold a book or a cube of ice (which is technically water, only frozen - but we're talking about water in its liquid form). In the same manner, you can't hold a dream in your hand. You can't make it come true unless you actually try and do something about it. Another theory is that the sea - and water in general - reminds us of our time in our mother's womb, when we, too, were floating in our own little sea of amniotic fluid. I doubt if God (or Goddess, whatever your preference may be) made humans from dirt; we must've come from the sea.

Later on (page 14) Ishmael talks about the joys of being one of the rank-and-file. Sure, being an ordinary sailor under the command of someone else may be tough, but it isn't all THAT bad. To quote:" Do you think the archangel Gabriel thinks any less of me, because I promptly and respectfully obey the that old hunks in tha particular instance?"

He makes a very good point. There's nothing wrong with obeying your superiors - especially if these superiors are higher in rank than you are and can easily toss you overboard in your sleep. He adds: "Well, then, however the old sea-captains may order me about - however they may thump and punch me about, I have the satisfaction of knowing that it is all right; that everybody else is one way or the other served in much the same way - either in a physical or a metaphysical point of view, that is; and so the universal thump is passed round, and all hands should rub each other's shoulderblades, and be content." Ishmael knows that although he might be abused today, he also knows that the one doing the abusing is also abused in one way or another, whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual.

However, I don't exactly approve of his almost total resignation to this abuse. When too much is too much, one must learn to stand up for oneself. Simply trusting on the Three or the God or the Goddess to wreak their vengeance on one's behalf is, I think, rather silly. Nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa [It is up to God to have mercy, but it is up to people to do something about it], as the old Filipino cliche goes. The deities we believe in will only grant us their permission to exact revenge; actually GETTING that revenge is up to us to accomplish.

Almost immediately afterwards (page 15), Ishmael talks about the joys of receiving a salary. Says he of being paid: "The urbane activity by which a man receives money is really marvelous, considering that we so earnestly believe that money is the root of all earthly ills, and that on no account can a monied man enter heaven. Ah! how cheerfully we consign ourselves to perdition!"

Let's face it: everyone needs and wants money. The Powerpuff Girls may say otherwise, but realistically speaking, it is money that greases the wheels and gears that make the world go 'round. People (especially the Church) may act all high-and-mighty and say that we do NOT need money, but fact remains that money buys the food and clothes we need to survive; pays the bills to keep our shelters up and running; and so on and so forth down the line.

Next up, Ishmael talks about the idea of leadership and government. Says he of the Commodores and Captains on their ships: "He thinks he breathes (the sea air) first; but not so. In much the same way do the commonality lead their leaders in many other things, at the same time that the leaders little suspect it."

Ishmael raises an interesting point on politics, especially democracy. Since in a democracy it is the people who rule, they are supposed to lead their superiors in many things. While the leaders think they are the first, it is, in fact, the people who went before them in all things, and thus they should respect the desire of the people. Unfortunately for the Philippines, the mob tends to be a bit idiotic, which is why the people in office are also stupid. In the rare case that someone smart DOES get voted into office, these people are always out of the limelight, or are not as famous are their stupider counterparts.

Anyway, enough of that. There are more in the upcoming chapters, but this is as far as I'm willing to go at the moment.

--~*~--

I watched El Crimen del Padre Amaro [The Crime of Padre Amaro] a while ago, and I got to watch the delectable Gael Garcia Bernal in action sans the beard (from his role as Che Guevarra in the Hallmark movie Fidel). Now I understand why all my female classmates who had watched this movie had the hots for Gael: he is THAT cute, something of a Mexican version of Clark Kent from Smallville ^_^.

Anyway, aside from the pure eye candy (which should be enough reason alone to watch this movie), the story is incredible, as well. It dwells on the scandals and controversies that are a part of the Catholic priesthood, most important of which is celibacy. It's interesting to note that Padre Amaro (Gael's character in the movie) says at one point in the movie that he was forced to take his vow of celibacy - one of the vows that a guy takes when he is ordained into the priesthood.

This raises an interesting question: should the vow of celibacy be made optional for priests? People have said time and again that celibacy will do priests no good because it goes against human nature, which is to procreate. To quote once more from Anand's writing for "Arda Reborn": "Asceticism solved nothing. Nothing. It simply stored every vestige of longing, of want, of desire in a tinder box until such time as a spark came along and ignited a forest fire." And I find this, perhaps, somewhat true. The Church keeps on lamenting that the number of young men entering the priesthood is so small. Maybe if they slackened the rules a little bit and made the vow of celibacy optional, then there would be more priests.

Which raises ANOTHER question: why is the Church so adverse to sex? God doesn't seem at all adverse to a little nookie every now and then, as can be told from the book Song of Songs, which is one of the canonical books of the Bible. Maybe sex out of context of certain rules is wrong, but sex per se isn't. So why all the furor over it anyhow?

~ Lady Harle

2003-09-26T23:13:00.000+08:00

When Hormones Run are In Overdrive

"It's you, Estrellia. I want you. To lay with you unclothed on some grassy plain and make time stop for just a while. To watch the sky overhead and feel the sun on us, burning our skin, making us remember the moment. To dance against you in some sacred fashion that I have never experienced before but would like to try...so much."

...Asceticism solved nothing. Nothing. It simply stored every vestige of longing, of want, of desire in a tinder box until such time as a spark came along and ignited a forest fire. Well, it was a lesson learnt too late now. He would have to let it smoulder, flame up and blaze.

~ dialogue and thougts of Roberto Pereira (Haldir) from the "Arda Reborn" RPG

I just wanted to share this particular piece of smut with you people because it's late at night, I'm irrational and my hormones are in overdrive. I clipped this from one of my archived saves of the Arda Reborn RPG. This is a very good little piece of work, so if any of you LOTR fans are interested (whatever your sexual preference may be) you are most welcome to join in.

This smut involves my character, Estrellia "Stella" Pedrosa, and Roberto Pereira - who in truth is Haldir of Lorien. Roberto is supposed to be a famous writer in the game, and is also supposed to be homosexual, but obviously, there has been a change in the plot ^_~.

Smut written by Anand.

--~*~--

Stella was nestled in Roberto's bed waiting for him whilst he lit a fire, snuggled down into the Egyptian cotton sheets that were smooth and cool and comforting. She vaguely remembered the taxi ride to Leyton, Roberto paying off the driver and then letting them into the house. Racing up the stairs, giggling in the hallway where he pointed out the bathroom, and then entering his bedroom. Impressions of oak floorboards partially covered with white rugs, copious voile embroidered drapes at the windows and floral wallpaper. It was very Roberto, she thought. Then the bed, contemporary wooden styling dressed with a duvet *and* a quilt appliquéd with fleur-de-lys.

The house felt cold so he told her to get into bed and he'd light a fire. He wasn't fond of central heating so he used the houses' Victorian fireplaces whenever the weather turned inclement. While he was getting on with that, his back turned to her, she quickly undressed and slipped into the bed without him seeing anything. Light from the street lamps diffused into the room so there was no need for any other form of illumination. Stella was glad. Partial light was preferable in the circumstances. She was excited and nervous at the same time. This was a huge step for her and she had
no idea how she would appear to a lover. Better that it was all covered up for the time being.

Roberto was fiddling with matches, endeavouring to set light to the kindling. But he was in sensory overload, too, and making a hash of things. If he messed about anymore his hands would be covered in ash from the previous fire, which he should have cleared out more efficiently. In exasperation, he put the matches to one side and glanced around to see if Estrellia was watching. She wasn't, she was tucked down into the bedding like a fledgling in its nest. Mmm, that was rather elven, he thought, and sweet.

Turning back to the recalcitrant fire, he placed his palm near to the kindling and tried to calm down. After he had managed to get a grip on himself, a spark shot from his palm straight into the twigs and
wood shavings and set it all nicely ablaze. The old ways were often the best. He stood up, daring the fire to fizzle out. It didn't. Ai, now he wanted to visit the bathroom he was so nervous. "I'll be just a minute," he called to Stella.

He was a bit longer, having washed, undressed and left his clothes hanging on the bathroom door. Returning to the bedroom he drew the duvet aside and climbed in. Stella jumped. He was freezing and naked but…she turned round to cuddle him. Goddess, his close proximity was enrapturing, dissolving all her worries and making her
feel like she was about to be worshipped. She drew in a breath as she felt his hand trail down her spine, over her buttocks and brush the backs of her thighs. "I see you don't believe in nightwear, Miss Pedrosa," he said, giggling.

"And I see that you are of similar mind, Mr Pereira," she joined in, wriggling against his torso and feeling his muscles tighten in response. He gasped as she touched his ear points for the second time that night, tracing the leaf shape once, twice and down to the lobe again. His hair had come free from its braiding and a silken waterfall flowed down his back. She stroked it and then stroked it again, moving her body upwards against his and letting her knee slip between his thighs.

He pulled her closer to his face and kissed her, touching her lips with his own, gently at first and then harder with little licks interspersed over her lips and into her mouth, his fingers laced through her hair, cradling her head. His other hand travelled down her back again and squeezed her bottom. It would have been enough to inflame the dead but performed on Stella it provoked a conflagration.

She moaned and pushed her tongue into his mouth, exploring the engaging territory. His hand moved down and stroked between the backs of her thighs. His fingers were long and brushed against the folds of flesh that no masculine hand had touched. She felt a surge of shocking pleasure run through her. That was the only way to
describe it. Impassioned, raw and thrilling. She broke the kiss, pulled her knee out from between his thighs and threw her leg around his waist, pulling herself closer and intermingling the sacred part of her body against his. She could feel him there, a part of his anatomy grown hard against her, sliding in all the fluids she was producing as she moved her pelvis in circles against his hips.

Her head was bent backwards in abandon presenting her throat to him, which he took full advantage of, licking, kissing and nipping the flesh while she sang his name. His hand cupped her breast, the thumb circling her nipple until it was a chip of marble. He was murmuring now, in between moans, murmuring words she didn't understand.
Singsong words that were like sentient poetry, the cadences rolling off his tongue and reverberating against her flesh. `Ess'amin naa Haldir. Estrellia, amin mela ile.'*

Goddess, she wanted him so badly she ached. Working purely on instinct she reached between her legs and grasped his erection, guiding the smooth head towards her opening. He was as wet and slippery as she. Her leg pressed hard against his side and he lifted his pelvis so she could encircle his waist with both limbs. In this fluid movement he moved inside her, gasping at her warmth. She felt him enter, magically stretching her and causing some discomfort but it hurt and felt good in equal measure. She gritted her teeth and pushed onto him until the backs of her thighs lay against his stomach and her ankles crossed at the back…now they were truly joined. She stilled for a while and he brought his knees up to rest against her buttocks.

They kissed in worship of each other. Slow, lingering kisses that turned once again into fervour. Now he was setting the pace, moving his hips back and forth, sliding inside her while she tightened her pelvic muscles and squeezed down on him, relaxing and contracting.

Gradually, the discomfort eased away and she felt the pure passion again, building up in enticing waves in time to his thrusting. He broke the kiss this time, breathing hard and murmuring her name. Goddess, she wanted no poetry now, no sweet romance. She just wanted…just wanted…she sunk her teeth into his shoulder and bit hard enough to draw blood, the taste of iron on her tongue. He yelled. Good. That was his discomfort. She'd moved the angle of her pelvis to reach him, her legs slipping lower down his back and now his thrusts were centring on the anterior wall of her passage. Oh, Goddess, oh, oh, oooooh!

He felt her muscles contract within, her legs tightened around his hips and her pelvis moved convulsively against him. He felt the orgasm coming from way off, consuming everything in its path. All the hurts, all the useless thoughts, the wasted moments. Burning, flaming, surging, cleansing fire. And…and…he took a deep breath… and…uuuuuuh! A primal yell of release and Time, for him, disintegrated into a thousand pieces, as he was finally propelled head long into rapture.

And when it was all over and they were sane once more, all that was left to do was to embrace. To embrace and enjoy dreamtime together.

*= "My name is Haldir. Estrellia, I love you."

--~*~--

Like I said, I'm on hormone overdrive right now. But I do think it's pretty good... you two owe me Mark smut.

~ Lady Harle

2003-09-26T11:46:00.000+08:00

Growing Up (a.k.a. Operation: Spring Cleaning")

Should I say that we should still be friends?
Should I cry or should I just pretend?
That it's killing me and I don't want you to leave
Should I make you think I'd suffer
When it doesn't matter...

I'm tired of all the happy-ever-after endings
I'm tired of make-believe heroes
I'm tired of taking back what I have given
I'm tired of waking up here...

~ Chorus and Bridge from the "When It Doesn't Matter" from the More Save the Last Dance OST

Some people might be shocked to see what I have just put up. After all who would've thought that me, Little Miss Living-in-a-Dream, would be able to say something like "I'm tired of all the happy-ever-after endings/ I'm tired of make-believe heroes"?

Well, I am - after a fashion. I've been hit hard enough (both by my friends, the fae, and - to a certain extent - by the Goddess and the God) to be snapped out of the slump I've slipped into since the night of my birthday. It's been a rather painful two-week process involving a lot of tears and getting slapped around by the fae and verbal lecturing from The Pantheon, but hell, it was all good.

So, why "spring cleaning?" Well, technically, that's what I'm doing: I'm clearing out all this emotional baggage that I've been lugging around and am letting go of a couple of things:

1. Mr. Ginoong Napakalayo Sa 'Kin ~ I haven't TOTALLY let go of the man - he's just too gosh-darned cute for that. But I've let go of him with regards to the fairy-tale-come-true aspect. Just contacting me doesn't mean that he's fallen in love with me - a fact that I found too difficult to accept earlier this year. But I'm okay now. I've burnt the spell parcel I made in the hopes of him falling in love with me, and I've decided to stop wearing the ring on which I cast that love spell I hoped would make him come to me. It still hurts, and I'm still trying to get used to the feel of NOT wearing the ring on my left middle finger, but I'm letting go of it slowly.

2. Mac ~ Shocker people: next on my priority list is to tell him that I like him. If he's reading this now, well then: y'know that girl I was telling you about? The girl in The Pantheon who'd jump out of the belltower if she found out that you had a girlfriend or met someone else? That girl's me. I don't know if you figured it out and didn't pay attention, or you just didn't really know - in which case you're as blind as the others say you are. But whether you go after me or not, is none of my business. You're free to decide what you want to do. That's okay by me.

3. Kai ~ I'm sick and tired of pretending. I want you back in the Pantheon, and bad. I've missed you - whether I admitted to it or not before. But now you know, don't you? Come on back every Wednesday - and bring your boy with you, if you so desire ^_~. Oh, and by the way, the guy's ADORABLE ^_^.

Mai and Mel were right all along: I didn't have to lose my faith in the fairy tales to live in real life - I just need to stay on the ground more often than I float in the air. But that doesn't mean that I could never dream.

I still believe in the happy endings. I still believe in true love. I never lost my faith in that - and I think I never will. I just need to mix a healthy dose of reality with it to keep myself okay and running.

--~*~--

"You are one of Arda’s most amazing fantasy writers! Tolkien would be proud of you."

This is one of the comments I received from the writer Anand on the Arda Reborn RPG Mailing List. *grins broadly* It feels SO good to know that my writing is appreciated by other people - especially one who writes very well, too.

If you people want to check out what's going on in this particular ML, the address is on my sidebar. Go ahead and join ^_^!

~ Lady Harle

2003-09-13T17:11:00.000+08:00

I've Been Pranked by the Faeries (I Think...)

"The fairshee (or fairsidhe) are one of the fairest faeries to look upon. Well known for their good looks, they enjoy the pursuit and the company of human females. But beware! Since the fairshee belong to no one, they will not allow themselves to be attached and thus will leave a female once they find out that she has fallen in love with them."

~ paraphrased from the book "How to Catch Faeries"

I was in National Bookstore in Makati today, and one of the first shelves I checked out was the New Age section. As I was glancing through titles, I noticed this small book at the bottom shelf entitled How to Catch Faeries. Being curious about the topic, I decided to pick it up, and began to leaf through it.

It proved to be a very interesting tome, especially when it began to detail the different types of faery and how to "catch" them. As it turns out, people whom I thought were not considered to be fae - like the merfolk, sirens, harpies and even giants - ARE actually fae. It even detailed how to catch elementals like sylphs and firefaes (I think that's what they're called). I might buy this book for reading pleasure anytime soon, maybe even lend it to Mel so she can find out how to "catch" her own fae.

Anyway, as I read through it, I noticed that one of the types of fae that could be "captured" was known as a fairshee, or fairsidhe - spelled either way, they refer to the same "type". The fairsidhe (I like that spelling better) appear to women as handsome young men - or a man whom the woman has been pining for - usually in their dreams, sometimes in reality. But once they find out that the female as fallen in love with them, they leave immediately, without even saying farewell. This is because the fairsidhe belong to no one. I assume that their going away once the woman has fallen in love with them is because they do not wish to complicate an already hopeless case.

Which brings me to my current dilemma. I will now proceed to talk in Tagalog, because this entry contains some rather sensitive issues that are best not discussed in the raw online.

Sa mga nakakaalam tungkol kay Ginoong Napakalayo Sa 'Kin, may pakiramdam ako na ang lahat na nangyari ukol sa kanya - ang mga sulat niya, ang mga panaginip ko tungkol sa kanya - ay kagagawan ng isang fairsidhe. Hindi ko alam kung ganon nga kalakas ang mga fairsidhe na kaya nilang gumamit ng modernong teknolohiya tulad ng email upang paglaruan ang mga kababaihan, pero sa palagay ko'y kaya nila ito.

'Tang ina. Pinaglaruan lang ata ako ng isang matalino at magaling na engkanto.

But this is just a theory of mine. My faery guide seems reluctant to talk to me about the issue at the moment, since I have had no brilliant insights to the contrary with regards to this. Mel, I need to ask a rather large favor of you: could you ask your cards what the hell is going on? Was it really the work of a fairsidhe to try and make me feel good about myself again?

--~*~--

I had a REALLY weird dream last night. I shall proceed to tell the story now, and, like usual, it is open to interpretation. I don't remember the first part of the dream, only the latter part, so I will just recount the bits and pieces that I do remember.

Bit Number One ~ It had something to do with a batch of really insulting letters written by Reggie of Archie Comics fame. What he did was that he made fun of my last name. I remember that in the dream, I was ranting and railing as I've never done before in real life. My parents - normally the ones who calm me down and prevent such violent outbursts - were strangely quiet, and didn't have anything to say about what had happened.

Bit Number Two ~ I remember walking into some fancy restaurant with the Pantheon, though why we're there I don't know. I stand in the entryway, and then catch sight of Celeborn (?!). Somehow, I start to see red. I stomp up to him, and grab him around the neck, intent on strangling the life out of him. Aragorn and somebody else (I don't remember who) pulled me away from Celeborn to prevent any further damage and (perhaps) to prevent me from making a further scene. Somehow, in the back of my head I know that it had something to do with the situation I mentioned above.

Bit Number Three ~ I'm standing in the entrance of some sort of training facility for Orc-hunting in Celeborn's house (the purpose is the same as Balamb Garden's Training Facility in FF8, for those who are looking for a comparison). The place is rounded in shape, with one path down the middle, another to the left, and another to the right. I see Thranduil (Legolas' father) go down the middle way, so I follow him.

Midway through walking, I stop, and turn back, deciding to follow Aragorn and his group (consisting of Isis, Mel, and a girl from one of my Lit classes) down the righthand path. I follow them, but once more I stop midway, and then I turn back and follow the other group who went down the lefthand path. I don't remember who was leading them - the only thing I'm sure about was that it was an Elf - and I think it was Kai and Dani who were in that group. I try to follow them, but then I stop midway, go back, and then head for the middle passage. I follow it down all the way, and end up at the entrance of what looks like a storage room - with no Thranduil in sight.

I double back, this time heading for the righthand corridor. Unfortunately, a gate closes down on me, and I am unable to get through to the other side. I pause, looking at the grilles. They're big enough for me to go through, but I decide otherwise, and head to the lefthand side, hoping against hope that there will be no gate to bar me. Unfortunately, there is one.

One part of me tells me that I should get through to the other side, and so I slip through the grilles, triggering an alarm in the process. In an attempt to make it look like an accident (I don't know why I get the urge to make it look like one), I take off my sword, and toss it into the space between the grilles. People I don't remember come down on me, reprimanding me, but I ignore them, and continue on my merry little way.

Bit Number Four ~ This is in direct continuation of the bit above. I follow the corridor, and I end up at the entrance of what looks like a club or a house party. Celeborn's house party (WHY does everything in this dream lead down to HIM in one way or another?!). A balding fifty-year-old man approaches me, and tells me that Orlando Bloom is in the house, gesturing to a ledge that stands on one side of a small staircase. And indeed, when I turn to look I see Orlando Bloom, dressed in pajamas, with a girl wearing a blue silk kimono-style robe. For some odd reason Mai is in this dream with me as well, and the moment she sees Orli she smirks and heads over to him.

Thus left all by my lonesome, I look around, turning to the ledge opposite the one Orli's sitting on. At the top of it I see a young man. I judge him to be incredibly handsome by my standards, but I don't remember his face. I do remember, however, the color of his hair: dark brown. He smiles, and leans over the railing, catching my cheek in the palm of his hand as he kisses me. The kiss lasts for a long, LONG time.

I let go after a while, and look over my shoulder to the opposite ledge. I see that Mai has replaced the other girl in Orli's arms, and both are quite happy with the arrangement as they clink their glasses of champagne in a toast.

Bit Number Five ~ The scene shifts away from the party to Celeborn and Galadriel, who seem to be talking about some sort of Elvish herbal Viagra (that's the impression that was in my mind in the dream, I swear!). The recipe seems to call for the petals of winter roses, so the pair go up (?) to a garden. In passing, Galadriel mentions that if the roses bloom in a particular pattern, it means that someone is in love. Camera pans out and upwards to reveal the entire rose garden, and the symbol they make: the symbol of Gil-galad.

Bit Number Six ~ Camera continues to zoom outwards until I realize that the pattern I was looking upon is a picture in a book - apparently I was reading a story up until this point. I laugh, and am giddily delighted by the idea of the roses making Gil-galad's symbol, because in my head (at least in the dream) Gil-galad equals Mark Ferguson, and that makes me feel kilig. I flip to the back page, and begin writing in a blank space with ruled lines on the upper right hand area of the book. As I'm writing I skip the second to the last line - there are roughly seven to eight lines in total.

Phew, that's about it. Another thing about this: all my senses were in proper working order in this dream - something that has happened only a few times before, and thus makes this dream rare enough for my attention.

Opinions, anyone?

~ Lady Harle

2003-09-09T17:25:00.000+08:00

Yo Ho Ho, A Pirate's Life For Me!

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot
Drink up me hearties, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We extort, we pilfer we filch and sack
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
Maraud and embezzle and even high-jack
Drink up me hearties, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We kindle and char inflame and ignite
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We burn up the city we're really a fright
Drink up me hearties, yo ho

We're rascals, scoundrels villains and knaves
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We're devils and black sheep - really bad eggs
Drink up me hearties, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We're beggars and blighters and ne'er-do-well cads
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
Aye, but we'er loved by our mommies and dads
Drink up me hearties, yo ho

~ Taken from here, which was taken from Disneyland's Pirates of the Caribbean"

*knows that everyone is probably looking at her weird* So sue me. I'm writing a fic on PotC. Oh yes, and if anyone will recall, that's the song that Elizabeth was singing at the beginning of the movie.

I've been web-hopping lately, and I managed to dig up a very interesting site about pirates. Yes folks, this is what happens when I decide to write a PotC (Pirates of the Caribbean) fic, and need some good, hardcore research to back up most of my ideas. Why do I go out of my way to do research on PotC when don't do the same thing with my LotR fics? Because LotR is easy to write off the top of your head, and I have read a great majority of the books anyway, so I don't need to do a lot of research. PotC, on the other hand, is an entirely different cup of tea - I don't have any books concerning pirates (unless we include Treasure Island, but that's a work of fiction and not of fact), and until PotC came out, pirates haven't really been that much of an interesting topic for me. The webpage can be accessed here.

As I was looking through this site, I have come up with a theory: the basis for the characters of Captain Jack Sparrow, Anamaria and Barbossa might have come from real pirates. For instance, I feel that Jack Sparrow was based on real-life pirate John "Calico Jack" Rackham. In fact, if one is particularly observant in the movie, the pirate flag of the Black Pearl is based on the Calico Jack's own flag. Of course, the "Jack" from "Calico Jack" might have been taken out and stuck with the name of Sparrow for the purposes of PotC, because their attitudes are quite similar: Calico Jack was often reputed to be a debonair and dashing figure, popular with the ladies (something which Jack Sparrow seems to lack sometimes). In fact, he managed to steal Anne Bonny away when the latter was an unhappy housewife married to a former pirate and longing for adventure. Certainly Jack Sparrow's habit of taking women as crew members matches Calico Jack's, who had not one but two female shipmates.

As for Anamaria, Jack Sparrow's lady pirate friend, she could have been based on any of two famous female pirates: Anne Bonny or Mary Read, or maybe even a combination of both; I can't be too certain. Anamaria's penchant for dressing in men's clothes seems to match that of Mary Read (who was raised as a boy from childhood and continued to act like such), but her prowess and courage certainly match the description of Anne Bonny.

Barbossa, Jack Sparrow's mutinous first mate, seems to have been based - though I don't know up to what extent - on the infamous Edward "Blackbeard" Teach. I assume this to be so because Barbossa's physical features (yes, yes, the BEARD) and general attitude seem to match. Blackbeard's story also seems to match Barbossa's in that Blackbeard started out as another pirate's subordinate, though Blackbeard certainly won his way to the top by more honorable means (while Barbossa seemed to prefer mutiny instead).

Even their NAMES seem to match, to a certain extent:

Jack Sparrow = Calico Jack

Anamaria = Anne Bonny; Mary Read

Barbossa = Blackbeard

Th site even features some very nifty stuff that I will most certainly need, like the the parts of a ship. There're even historical details concerning such places as Port Royal and Tortuga.

Oh, and on a related note: Isle de la Muerte is WRONG. "Isle" is French, while "de la Muerte" is Spanish. It should be "Isla de la Muerte".

*pauses*

I'm going overboard here, aren't I?

--~*~--

QUIZ TIME!

Most of these were stolen from Mad Maeglin's LJ:

your soundtrack by reade
name
turntable rotation	elliott smith, tori amos, radiohead

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

And another one:

Instant Bishounen! by mizery
Your username
Your eye colour
Hair colour and length	red, shoulder-length
Place of residence	a secret underground lair
Sexual orientation	bi-curious
Special Quirk	is attractive to men and women

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*chokes, coughs and sputters* NEXT!

Elisa Maza, the beautiful Detective

Which Gargoyles character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*grins* I kind of remember this, I think. Anyway...

What Are You Most Likely to Utter During Sex by UMAJohnnie
Name
Sexuality
Age
Most Likely to Say	"Your ears are made of jam."

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*coughs* The HELL?! Let's try that again:

What Are You Most Likely to Utter During Sex by UMAJohnnie
Name
Sexuality
Age
Most Likely to Say	"Holy sh*t! You weren't kidding!"

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*raises eyebrow* Is this in delight or in revulsion?

That's it for now, I suppose. Toodles!

~ Lady Harle

2003-09-07T17:33:00.000+08:00

Losing Touch With Sanity

"You should take death more seriously."

"I DO take death seriously."

"Then why are you laughing?"

"Because it tickles."

~ quoted (as accurately as I could) from "S.W.A.T."

Yes folks, I got to watch SWAT today. I was slightly disappointed with the movie, although I do have to admit that the action scenes were very good. Praise must be given also for making sure that the female member of the SWAT team in focus doesn't get laid by any of the team members - though there are a few hints of future romantic involvement with the lead actor. Still, I find that very much acceptable.

I was disappointed, however, by the way that one of the antagonists was played out. It's all too obvious right off the bat that he's going to turn up somewhere close to the end of the movie and make everything go to hell.

Still, praise must be given for the action scenes. I especially liked the landing of a Lear jet on one of the bridges in the hopes of pulling off a getaway for the international criminal dude. The gunfights, I believe, were rather well-done. I'm not an expert on the topic though - but Marcelle is. I wonder if he's gotten the chance to watch and what his comments on it are?

--~*~--

Anyway, this is a quiz I found while trying to hunt down some Gil-galad NC-17 fanfiction:

You are an Artist!

What type of LotR fan are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I know that I took this before, but I think I got a somewhat different result...can't remember what it was, though...

And this is something that I stole of Hope's LJ (they're also the reason why I titled this entry the way I did):

But I wasn't satisfied with just THAT, so I tried almost all my usernames. These are my personal faves:

*snorts* I LIKE that last one ^_^...

--~*~--

Mai's b-day is coming up soon ^_^! Glad that I managed to procure her present already ^_^. It isn't a tarot deck (which is sad, since I more or less know which deck would be very appropriate for her), but something just as nice ^_^. I'll give her tarot deck, as well as Isis' and Dani's HOPEFULLY by Christmas.

As for Mel - NO MORE CHRISTMAS PRESSIE FOR YOU! Your cards are good enough ;-P.

~ Lady Harle

2003-09-05T09:30:00.000+08:00

Do I Even Want to Let Go?

People tell me to let go
Of things lost in the depths of time...
But just how easy is it
To let go of pain?

~ Random thoughts

Seeing Kai's latest entry on her blog stung - more than, perhaps, I will dare to admit openly to my family. And it stings even more since it came in the aftermath of her panic-stricken call to me over my cel last night.

I don't know if a lot of people know this, but I have a very hard time letting go of the past - especially things that have hurt me grievously. I forgive, most certainly, and usually I can forget at the same time, but...there are times when I forgive, but the forgetting doesn't come for a very, very long time.

And, I guess, that's where I can be such a hypocrite.

I should have forgotten the incidents and injuries that happened to the Circle when Kai came up to us and apologized for all that she had done. Forgiving and forgetting should have come together on that day. I should have forgiven her - which I had done - and tossed all memory of past hurts out the window. I did the former, but I didn't do the latter.

It's in my nature, I suppose, to bury all past grievances in the very back of my mind, and go on with my life. But these things aren't totally forgotten, are they? They're just there, stagnating in that little room at the back of my head, and then they slowly become moldy and decay and poison me from the inside out. I thing I remember telling Mel, Mai and Isis about my supposed "darker side", that sometimes I can't tell anymore whether the shadow I fall under sometimes is really me or just the negativity I absorb from other people.

I have my answer now: it's both, but it's mostly ME.

Now, the most obvious cure for this would be to air out all the stink and stench, to "clean house," so to speak - but I find it so hard to do that. Maybe it's because I'm afraid of what monster has been brooding in all that muck, what other side of me I've repressed for so long will come out if I even so much as attempt to go there...

And in light of this, I do suppose that apologies of my own are in order. To everyone who has had to put up with me, forgive me...and thank you.

~ Lady Harle

2003-09-04T18:31:00.000+08:00

The Haunting... Of My Head!

Sometimes, some things are totally unexpected.

And sometimes, those things are not exactly what you want, either.

~ Condensation of my thoughts for this entry

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the summary of all my thoughts at the moment.

Jack Sparrow *climbs out from beneath the cushion he was buried under*: Yer lyin' again, lass. That's not ALL yer thoughts are about, are they?

ARGH!! JACK!!!!! Do you have to follow me all the way HERE?! Can't you leave me alone for once?!

Jack *raises his hands*: Sorry lass, I can't do that. Yer too pretty a thing ta let me simply take my eyes off ye. I never know where ye might get ta if I didn't keep watch over ye.

*snarls* You aren't my father! You don't have to watch over me all the time! I can take care of myself!

Jack *snorts derisively*: Take care of yeself? Did I hear ye right? No, me bonnie lass, ye can't take care of yeself - not very well yet, at least. And I might not be ye father, but that's a finer arrangement for me now, isn't it?

See?! He won't leave me the hell alone! He's been hopping in and around my thoughts and even my SPEECH sometimes! I can't shake him off!

Jack: Why would ye want ta shake me off? Not that ye can do that, me bonnie lass. Yer dealin' with Captain Jack Sparrow here. Ye can't shake me off easily.

Won't you go away?! I wanted WILL, not you!

Jack: Like I told ye, lass, why would ye want a eunuch - an ENGAGED eunuch, at that?! Ye know that I love ye, don't ye? I even gave up me ship for ye!

But I didn't WANT you to give up the Pearl! You were practically MARRIED to that ship! It was too good an arrangement to break!

Jack: But I love ye, lass! And I'm not lettin' ye go till ye write that tale that's been brewing in the back of ye pretty little head.

*scowls* You DO realize that in that "tale" you just mentioned, I'm throwing in the Commodore, and fortunately, he isn't as persistent as you, so I just might arrange it so that-

Jack *waves his hands around*: No, don't ye do that, lass!

Well I'm completely prepared to do that. Just a few swift strokes of the keyboard, and BOOM! I can make it so that the Commodore wins AND you get fed to the sharks.

Jack *sighs in defeat*: Alright, alright lass, ye win. If ye want me ta leave you alone, I will. BUT! Ye have ta make me a promise.

*raises eyebrow* Depends on what I should do.

Jack: If I leave ye alone, then when ye write yer tale, it will go in me favor. Savvy?

*purses lips, and thinks, then smiles* Fine, you've got a deal.

Jack: Do ye swear that it will be so, on ye honor?

On my honor, it will be so. Now will you leave me alone?

Jack *grins as he bows, sweeping his hat off*: As ye wish, me pretty little dove. May I remind ye that I like me wenches with very fiery tempers - like ye, lass, or maybe one o' those friends o' yours - what was the name of the lass? Maia? And what abou' that gypsy girl, Mel?

*grins evilly* You sure you don't want someone with a somewhat calmer temper? Like Kai or Isis or Dani?

Jack *grins broadly*: Oh, I like me wenches fiery, trust me. The calmer ones ye can give to the Commodore.

Fine. Now GO.

Jack *starts walking out*: Going lass. But, won't ye give me a kiss? Just one kiss, for me good luck and fortune?

*growls* OUT, Jack!

Jack *raises hands in surrender*: I'm going lass!

PHEW! He's gone...for now...

~ Lady Harle

2003-08-27T09:42:00.000+08:00

Things to be Done

A little wink, a little nudge
Sometimes just those aren't enough
I suppose I AM kind of dense
In such times, resort to push and shove.

~ Random thoughts

*looks up to the sky* Alright, ALRIGHT! I'll stop doubting myself already! It will be done by Friday, granted that you will be there to support me.

Mel, thanks for the reading. I promise to get the spell done by Friday - and to quit doubting myself when it comes to Ginoong Napakalayo Sa 'Kin. After all, it's not like I'm stealing him from anybody. He's single, and I guess that's what counts.

ANNOUNCEMENT! To my dearest sisters - and a few who are children of my sisters: LET'S ALL WATCH POTC THIS COMING WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 3!!!! LET'S ALL DROOL OVER JOHNNY DEPP AND ORLANDO BLOOM!!! EEEEE~!

*clears throat* Well, I guess you see the picture, right? C'mon, let's go: all girls only, no guys and asexual beings allowed ^_~. Meeting place is the Glorietta 4, around eleven-ish, then we'll watch the 1-PM showing or thereabouts. How about it ^_~?

~ Lady Harle

2003-08-23T10:21:00.000+08:00

Flowing Words

Clickity-clickity-clack
That's how my keyboard goes
From mind to fingers to screen
My Muse trots alongside the cursor.

~ Random thoughts

Well, apparently my Muse has come back - my LOTR Muse, specifically. I've managed to get some work done on my latest LOTR epic entitled War of Daenova. This little baby has been something I've been wanting to do ever since I learned of Mel and Flip's fantasy series Legend of the Swords, or LOTS for short.

Basically, WoD (my shorthand for War of Daenova) is a crossover of the two worlds of Tolkien and the Chroniclers of Khaenna (Flip and Mel's semi-official title for the group that will be involved in the creation of LOTS), as well as being an AU (alternate universe) for both, though mostly for LOTS. The only thing that's AU about LOTR is that I brought Gil-galad back to life - but even then, that's not TOTALLY AU because it's entirely possible for that to be canon. I mean, there have been two Glorfindels in the history of Middle-Earth (you'd need to have read The Silmarillion to get what I meant by that), and a lot of people speculate that they are one and the same Elf - which means that Glorfindel was brought back to life sometime before the sinking of Beleriand (once more, read Silmarillion to understand why that happened). In light of this, why not bring Gil-galad back to life?

Anyway, back to the main plot. The Khaenna in my story isn't as troubled as the one in the original. The only place that's in any serious trouble is Daenova - the homeland of the Dragons. The continent of Irasa, which is the homeland for a great majority of Khaenna's races and people, is relatively quiet.

What's going on in Daenova? The primary problem is that...well...Daenova has almost completely disintegrated, all of its former beauty and grandeur lost. This came about due to the fall of Dragonis, the capital of Daenova, and the mass evacuation of a great majority of the population to such havens as Oriemel, the underwater city of the Sea Dragons; and Revanarsil, the Holy City of the Moon Dragons and the only floating city that the Shadow Dragons (the bad guys) were unable to bring down. But the more important people - the Royal Family and the heirs of the great cities, along with a relatively large contingent of warriors, artisans and healers - placed themselves on exile in another realm entirely, quite far from the immediate reach of the Shadow Dragons and their Overlord Ximtarien. Among these exiles were the High Queen, Melusine, and her daughter and sole heir to the throne, Princess Caelis.

Their arrival in Middle-Earth roughly coincided with the time the Numenoreans - Elendil and his sons Isildur and Anarion (learn more about them in - where else? - The Silmarillion) - were building up their realms, the places that would eventually be known as Gondor, Arnor, Osgiliath, et cetera. While they were rushing around building up their realms, the Istari Gandalf and Radagast were helping the refugees from Daenova find a place of their own to stay - all of this under the greatest secrecy. In the end, they found the perfect place: the area in and around the foothills of Caradhras. Now technically this is not a very good place to be if you're planning to set up a secret realm, because the road between Eregion and Khazad-dum lay around here - but then again, if you're building a road, you wouldn't make it go through a thick forest, would you? So the exiled people of Daenova were safe where they were - or so they thought.

You see, a big old palace made in the Daenovan style of architecture isn't exactly the most discreet thing in the world. For one thing, they are very fond of high towers - a preference they acquired because of their habit of changing from their serpentine forms to their human forms and back again - and because they needed proper launching areas from which to take flight. So they wreathed the entire area around the foothills of Caradhras with cloaking spells. Unfortunately, those spells only worked with Elves, Men, Dwarves, et cetera. They didn't work with Orcs. So from the moment they moved in, they've had to contend with a lot of Orcs, causing a severe depletion in their ranks.

Then the Last Alliance broke out. This was a troubling time for all, not just the Free Peoples of Middle-Earth, but also for the Exiles (this was the title that the Dragons had given themselves, to distinguish themselves from the Free Peoples, or the natives, of Arda). It's a bad thing for a people who want to remain secret to be caught up in the middle of a war. To maintain the security of their realm, Melusine decided that they would continue as if the war was not raging beyond their homeland. Only her daughter, Caelis, refused to see it that way. She had grown to love Middle-Earth, and she knew that unless someone did something, Middle-Earth would fall. And so, going against her mother's wishes, she snuck out of their realm and, disguised as a mortal woman, made her way to Dagorlad, where she met up and befriended Ereinion Gil-galad. After that first meeting, they never met again face-to-face, but she became his spy in Barad-dur. She snuck in and out of the fortress, writing down what she had seen and heard in letters that she would then send to Gil-galad. But, just before the final battle that led to Gil-galad's death, Caelis was nearly caught by Sauron's soldiers. Because of this, she fled back to Caradhras - only to learn later on that Gil-galad had died in battle.

After the Last Alliance, there was relative peace for some time, but it was only an uneasy quiet. Even then, the Dragons had no peace. Orcs still came to raid their borders, and these resulted in skirmishes that, although they were not full-scale battles, usually resulted in loss of life in one way or another on the side of the Dragons. Slowly, slowly, their ranks were being depleted. At last, five years before the events that led to the War of the Ring, Melusine was killed during a particularly brutal Orc raid, one that even the Dragons had difficulty quelling, so much so that Gandalf had to come to their aid at the last minute. That event left Caelis as the last heir to throne of Dragonis - no longer a Princess but a High-Queen in exile.

And THAT, my friends, is only the backstory.

FLIP! I need your help on some details concerning Irasa! I can't move on with planning what happens in Khaenna unless I get my answers!

--~*~--

Flip and Mel got me started on X-Men: Evolution the cartoon series, which is shown Monday to Friday, 5:30 PM on Cartoon Network. All I can say now is this: Apocalypse looked so HOT when he was young ^_^!

Hehe, just stating an opinion ^_~. But my true crushes in that series are Kurt Wagner aka Nightcrawler (FUZZY ELF! FUZZY ELF *glomps and plays with tail*) and Pietro Maximov aka Quicksilver (okay, so the guy talks fast and lives fast, and his hair DOES make him look kinda like a cockroach, but hey, as someone once told me "Reformed rakes make the best husbands). Another slight crush is on Angel (ooh, pwetty wings, pwetty, pwetty, pwetty!)

Whoops, gotta go. I got a show to watch on Discovery Channel (yeah, yeah, I'm a geek. So what?)

~ Harle

2003-08-22T13:40:00.000+08:00

A Little Bit of Sunshine

Time to laugh, and time to giggle
Let some sun in through the clouds
An old friend back, new games to play,
Right now everything feels just fine

~ Random thoughts

I'm going on a quiz spree...

This strong idealist values friendship highly, and will never give up on those
she loves.

What Obernewtyn Character
are you?

*grins* I should like to think so. The only time I give up on friends is if they betray me.

And another one...

You are an angel.

What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox

*giggles* Ha, I wish... I'm not as nice as some people think I am.

And on to another one. I'm on a quiz spree, so sue me... This is the final one, I PROMISE!

What's Your Outlook on Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

*sighs* I kind of saw that coming...

Neeways, gotta go for now. Need to finish something for Artcomp. Toodles people!

~ Harle

2003-08-21T19:06:00.000+08:00

Changes

I've seen lots of things
I've been through hell and back
It's time to change, time to change
Whether I like it or not.

~ Random thoughts

I hope you will pardon my French.

Simply put, a lot of shit's happened. I've been away from Blogger for a long, long time - even from Livejournal. Why? Well, I've had to put a lot of things in order, aside from the fact that I've got school in the way. *kicks the wall of Miguel Building* Damn school.

But it's not just that. There are several new arrangements in the Circle, and a shift in (magickal) energies as well. As far as I can tell, it is time for Fire to burn brighter and hotter than before - this, according to this one from a reading she did a couple of months back. Problem is: what the fuxing hell do I do with most of that energy? I've been channeling most of it into my divination, but somehow I don't think that's all I should be doing. What else is there that I should do with all this excess energy? I want to USE it for something, but I have no idea what.

Darling, you aren't the only one having panic attacks. I'm having one right at this moment.

--~*~--

Now let's get away from the depressing stuff and move on to something lighter ^_^. Stolen off Mai's LJ:

Previous Life Meme by quill18
Username:
Zodiac Sign:
Favorite Colour:
Last Life:	Thief
Attendants at Funeral:	70

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*giggles* Well, that's something to keep in mind when I decide to play Ragnarok or try a new character in Neverwinter Nights...

And here's another one:

Lotrboy Dating Service by dreaminaway
Username
Favorite Number
Your Date	Dom AND Billy (package deal!)
Date activity	Beach party with friends
Future of relationship	Lots of shagging.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*blinks and sputters* WHAT THE-! LOTS OF- That CAN'T be right *tries test again*!

Lotrboy Dating Service by dreaminaway
Username
Favorite Number
Your Date	Billy Boyd
Date activity	Awards show
Future of relationship	Lots and lots of shagging.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*faints* That's WRONG! Why am I getting HOBBITS?! I want ELVES! *tries again*

Lotrboy Dating Service by dreaminaway
Username
Favorite Number
Your Date	Sean Bean
Date activity	Bowling
Future of relationship	Lots of shagging.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*thwaps forehead* Okay, a SLIGHT improvement, but I wanted an ELF, not a MAN. And a dead one at that (in the movie at least...)! *breathes deeply* Alright. One. Last. Time. *tries again*

Lotrboy Dating Service by dreaminaway
Username
Favorite Number
Your Date	Orlando Bloom
Date activity	Quiet dinner (cooked by him!)
Future of relationship	You left him for another lotrboy.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*eye twitch* Right. I got an Elf, like I asked for. But I AM NOT THE TYPE TO LEAVE A MAN FOR OTHER MEN JUST LIKE THAT! Still, the dinner was a nice addition...

Anyway, here's another one:

Your Name: Samantha Camille Montoya Martinez
Your Date of Birth: 06/06/1985
Your Question or Information: Does a certain someone still remember me?

Past

Isa - Cessation of energy, freezing an issue where it stands, cooling relationships, separation, division.

Present

Berkana - Growth, abundance, fertility, Mother Earth, protection, the zenith of an idea or situation.

Future

Neid - Need, desire, fulfilling those needs, love and sex magick, motivation created by distress.

Cast the runes here:
Rune Caster

*blushes* Erm...right... I think you lovely people know just WHO I'm talking about, right? Si Ginoong Napakalayo Sa 'Kin.

Sorry for the Tagalog. Needed to use that.

~ Harle

2003-08-20T19:07:00.000+08:00

Alright, this is going to be the layout of this, my new blog - but where THE HELL did the picture go?! There was supposed to be a picture at the top, but since THAT doesn't seem to be there...well... Urd'nee, Mel, please help me fix this up?

And if my ARTCOMP professor is reading this...sir, here's the website. You said we could do it on Blogger, so I did, and...voila? It's still incomplete since the picture is missing, but I'll have that up soon (hopefully).

~ Samantha Martinez

2003-08-12T10:25:00.000+08:00

This is just a temporary post and a temporary template.